HogWild as Sherwood, upon discovering that this person is from Australia.

<Sherwood> cool! I LOVE Australia!
<Sherwood> What part are you from?
<BELLA_01> VICTORIA
<BELLA_01> WHERE R U
<Sherwood> No kidding! That's what I'm gonna name my 2nd daughter!
<Sherwood> I am in the media mecca of the midwest, Dayton, Ohio
<Sherwood> I know it's not as SEXY as VICTORIA, but it's still nice in a country bumpkin sort of way
<BELLA_01> EXCELLENT WHERE IS DAYTON OHIO
<Sherwood> Dayton is about 1/2 hour from no where
<Sherwood> just kidding
<Sherwood> dayton is 1 hour from cincinnati
<Sherwood> and 1 hour from columbus
<BELLA_01> That is alright i'm sure if u came to my home town u would think we r about the same
<Sherwood> really?
<Sherwood> i thought Victoria was a major city
<Sherwood> the hustle, the bustle
<Sherwood> all those Victorians running around
<BELLA_01> no Melbourne is the capital of victoria
<Sherwood> oh!
<Sherwood> so Victoria is like a province or something
<Sherwood> see, i knew that
<Sherwood> i was just testing your geography
<BELLA_01> i'm in a town in  victoria about 65,000 pop
<Sherwood> so you don't live near Melbourne
<Sherwood> 65,000 ain't bad
<BELLA_01> about 1.5 hrs away
<BELLA_01> you're a quick typer
<Sherwood> i used to live in the Bronx, NY, my neighborhood had 65,000 pop
<Sherwood> but 50,000 of those were roaches
<Sherwood> really big ones too
<Sherwood> cops used to have to beat them down with billy clubs
<BELLA_01> so you're used to the hustle
<Sherwood> oh yeah
<Sherwood> AND the bustle
<Sherwood> so is it true Australia was founded by prisoners?
<BELLA_01> now u r just a country boy
<Sherwood> yup that's sure is right there billy bob
<Sherwood> i done did it
<Sherwood> i done did become a country guy

<BELLA_01> yep except for the aboriginals who were here all along
<Sherwood> oh the aboriginals
<Sherwood> is that your P.C. term for Redskins
<Sherwood> see here in America we just exterminated them and made logos on our sports helmets
<BELLA_01> what r redskins?
<Sherwood> did you guys do the same?
<Sherwood> redskins are what the white man called American Indians
<Sherwood> do you like have a soccer team called the Aboriginals?
<BELLA_01> r u racist?
<Sherwood> no
<Sherwood> but my country is
<Sherwood> was
<Sherwood> um, we're still trying to make up our mind
<Sherwood> like, 30 years ago we were
<Sherwood> but now we try not to be
<Sherwood> and now we tell other countries how they should treat their citizens
<Sherwood> it's the American way
<Sherwood> no I love all people
<BELLA_01> fair enough 
<Sherwood> except smelly ones
<Sherwood> i am racist against those with sour odors
<BELLA_01> hahahahahaha
<Sherwood> you don't stink do you?
<Sherwood> do you use deodorant?
<BELLA_01> no i smell really pretty
<Sherwood> good
<BELLA_01> chanel n that
<Sherwood> so do i, except on rare occassions, but usually that involves tacos
<Sherwood> chanel?
<Sherwood> i must be talking to a bim!
<BELLA_01> chanel NO5
<Sherwood> so in australia you women love ParFooom?
<BELLA_01> what is a bim u mean bimbo?
<Sherwood> no no no
<Sherwood> bim is just a term for a lady
<Sherwood> nub is for a guy
<Sherwood> like, i'm a nub
<Sherwood> it'll catch on soon in Australia, just like the Price is Right
<BELLA_01> hahahah
<Sherwood> so you do you have american tv shows in Australia?
<BELLA_01> i love the price is right
<Sherwood> great show
<Sherwood> what a concept
<Sherwood> 1 full hour of commercials made into a betting game
<Sherwood> brilliant!
<BELLA_01> yeah but they r australianised
<Sherwood> so we have bob barker as the host
<Sherwood> who do you have?
<BELLA_01> you're too quick
<BELLA_01> i cant remember his name
<Sherwood> can't handle a man with fast fingers?
<Sherwood> :)
<BELLA_01> ooooohhhhh
<BELLA_01> hahahah
<Sherwood> it's a joke, one time i told that to my proctologist and she got revenge
<BELLA_01> as long as he's good
<Sherwood> i've seen price is right australian style and the bims are amazing
<Sherwood> are all the women that incredible?
<Sherwood> bc in the US all the attractive woman are on tv
<Sherwood> and there are none left for regular folks
<BELLA_01> no not really they just pick the real sexy ones 
<Sherwood> oh, so does Australia have its share of BFNs?
<Sherwood> Big Fat Nasties?
<BELLA_01> we have all got that special something though
<Sherwood> IN Ohio, we lead the coutnry in % of BFN's to the regular pop.
<Sherwood> oh yeah
<Sherwood> like the accent
<Sherwood> i think an australian accent is sexy
<BELLA_01> yep
<Sherwood> a french accent makes me want to puke though

<BELLA_01> me too
<BELLA_01> cool its a pity i haven't got a speaker
<Sherwood> what do you think of the american accent?
<Sherwood> there are many tho
<Sherwood> the southern american hick accent
<Sherwood> the New yawk accent
<Sherwood> the ohi-a accent
<Sherwood> the surfer dude accent
<BELLA_01> its a bit quick but i find myself copying it
<Sherwood> the american accent?
<Sherwood> why, from movies?
<BELLA_01> yep
<Sherwood> is american culture really big out there?
<BELLA_01> watch too many
<Sherwood> like, do you have McBootleg restaurants out there
<Sherwood> and Coca-Cola
<BELLA_01> certainly do
<Sherwood> wowzers
<BELLA_01> coke is the biggest selling soft drink everywhere
<Sherwood> so if i visit Vicotoria, it'll be like visiting Newark?
<Sherwood> I hope not
<Sherwood> where are your koala bears and whatnot
<BELLA_01> we have 2 maccas in shep
<Sherwood> and those alligators and stuff
<Sherwood> what's a macca
<Sherwood> and a shep?
<BELLA_01> in the bush
<Sherwood> is that a bird?
<BELLA_01> Macca's = McDonalds
<Sherwood> oh!
<Sherwood> why is it called Macca?
<BELLA_01> Shep= my home town
<Sherwood> does macca mean heartburn in australian?
<Sherwood> oh
<BELLA_01> no it is just a nickname
<Sherwood> so do you have a pet koala bear?
<Sherwood> that would be cool
<Sherwood> i have a pet dog
<Sherwood> do you have a parrot?
<BELLA_01> no they r wild it is illegal to keep them without a licence
<Sherwood> that sucks
<BELLA_01> we r just the same as u guys
<Sherwood> what's the point of god creating beautiful exotic creatures if we can't rip them from their homes and domesticate them for our personal amusement
<BELLA_01> i want to visit us one day but i think it might be too scary
<Sherwood> why?
<BELLA_01> how old r u
<Sherwood> do they bite?
<Sherwood> me?
<Sherwood> I am an old
<Sherwood> man
<BELLA_01> yes
<Sherwood> 23
<Sherwood> 23 long years on this planet
<BELLA_01> me too
<Sherwood> you're 23 too?
<BELLA_01> oh yeah
<Sherwood> so young
<Sherwood> so so young
<BELLA_01> yep
<Sherwood> haven't even experienced life yet
<Sherwood> haven't even met a koala bear
<Sherwood> sad
<BELLA_01> you either?
<Sherwood> nope
<BELLA_01> hahahahah
<Sherwood> but that is my life's goal
<Sherwood> to meet Mr. Koala Bear
<Sherwood> shake his hand
<Sherwood> smile
<Sherwood> and throw a sack over its head and take him home!

<BELLA_01> do you have rattle snakes
<BELLA_01> i dont want to meet one of those
<Sherwood> i dont have snakes
<BELLA_01> in your state
<Sherwood> yeah they'll like kill you and stuff
<BELLA_01> thats scary
<Sherwood> the only exotic animal in my state is the squirrel
<BELLA_01> hahahahh
<Sherwood> the people here seem to enjoy eating them
<BELLA_01> grose
<Sherwood> yeah
<BELLA_01> what time is it there?
<Sherwood> with bbq sauce and all that
<BELLA_01> here it is 9:50 pm Sat
<Sherwood> 9:50 pm!
<Sherwood> DAAAAAAANG!
<Sherwood> its on 7:50 am here
<BELLA_01> what day
<Sherwood> it's like your on the other side of the world or something!
<Sherwood> it's saturday
<Sherwood> i think
<BELLA_01> jeez u think
<BELLA_01> do u watch JERRY
<Sherwood> jerry springer?
<BELLA_01> yep
<BELLA_01> i love jerry it's so pathetic!!
<Sherwood> nah, i prefer more intellectual fare like Jenny Jones
<BELLA_01> don't get her
<Sherwood> oh, her guests usually involve make-overs and strippers
<BELLA_01> what does she do
<BELLA_01> a lot like jerrry then
<Sherwood> jerry springer used to be mayor of cincinnati-- 1 hour from where i live
<Sherwood> i met jerry springer
<Sherwood> briefly
<BELLA_01> is he a prick or what?
<Sherwood> he looks very old in person
<Sherwood> no he was cool
<BELLA_01> hahaha he thinks he is all that
<Sherwood> he knows what he's doing is entertainment so he doesn't take himself too seriously
<Sherwood> next show: Talk show hosts who think they're all that
<BELLA_01> yeah
<Sherwood> so do you wear a cowboy hat?
<BELLA_01> r u married
<Sherwood> usually
<BELLA_01> no i am a normal gal
<Sherwood> i only wear the cowboy hat during intimate encounters
<Sherwood> what do you mean "normal"
<BELLA_01> usually married??
<Sherwood> no, always
<Sherwood> always and forever
<Sherwood> for all my life
<Sherwood> until the day i die
<Sherwood> only 12963287632874 days to go
<Sherwood> :)
<Sherwood> ever see that show married with children?
<Sherwood> with al bundy?
<BELLA_01> that is excellent it is nice to know that there are real men out there
<Sherwood> of course i'm "real"
<BELLA_01> yep it is a bit stupid
<Sherwood> WHAT!!!!!!!
<Sherwood> no, that is classic television
<Sherwood> you have insulted my very being
<Sherwood> Al Bundy is god
<BELLA_01> so you r married
<Sherwood> yes
<BELLA_01> at 23 that is young
<Sherwood> yes
<Sherwood> no, she wasn't pregnant
<Sherwood> we dated for 5 years
<BELLA_01> and you're having another child how many have u got
<Sherwood> no no no
<Sherwood> no children
<Sherwood> not for a long time
<Sherwood> can't handle any kids
<Sherwood> for goodness sake! i don't even have a koala bear yet!
<Sherwood> so how come you're not married
<BELLA_01> why did u say Victoria was going to be her name
<Sherwood> my second daughter
<BELLA_01> too horrid
<Sherwood> when i have her
<Sherwood> too horrid what?
<Sherwood> you're scared?
<Sherwood> or do you have a deep dark secret?
<BELLA_01> too horrid to find anyone nice
<Sherwood> so you only meet scumlike dudes?
<Sherwood> where are you looking?
<BELLA_01> i had one for 4 yrs and he cheated over the net
<BELLA_01> 2 months ago
<Sherwood> what do you mean?
<Sherwood> he had cyber sex or real sex?
<BELLA_01> he found someone new that he wanted to meet
<Sherwood> or he cheated with his large collection of jpg's?
<Sherwood> oh
<Sherwood> so he dumped you for some bim he never even met
<BELLA_01> yep what an arse hey
<Sherwood> or did he meet her secretly and then decided to break up?
<BELLA_01> the first
<Sherwood> i bet the girl he met was ugly
<BELLA_01> i'm not that bad
<Sherwood> probably had pimples on her butt
<Sherwood> not YOU, the bim he cheated with
<BELLA_01> hope so Hahahahaha
<Sherwood> is that how you met HIM, over the net?
<BELLA_01> not me mines smooth
<Sherwood> smooth bottoms are a plus
<BELLA_01> no my brother worked with him
<Sherwood> oh
<Sherwood> so blame your brother
<Sherwood> the bastard!
<Sherwood> so why would he want to break up with you, did you cook for him?
<BELLA_01> i should
<Sherwood> did you fix him hot meals?
<BELLA_01> i did everything
<Sherwood> REALLY?!
<BELLA_01> yep
<Sherwood> so you're the Queen of the Kitchen?
<Sherwood> to me, THAT is the sexiest thing
<BELLA_01> he was too much of a computer freak
<Sherwood> what a loser
<Sherwood> never let your computer get in the way of a good steak
<Sherwood> i love a woman who cooks
<Sherwood> especially bare footed

<BELLA_01> tooo bloody cold for no socks here
<BELLA_01> i hope u dont forget your wife in the kitchen while you're on the net
<Sherwood> wow
<Sherwood> never
<Sherwood> the sexiest perfume is bbq sauce
<BELLA_01> hahahaahh
<BELLA_01> you've tried that then
<Sherwood> you sound like a good woman, i'm sure you'll find a good guy
<Sherwood> plus you're young, you cook, what else could a man want!
<BELLA_01> i hope so
<Sherwood> plus you claim not to smell
<Sherwood> you're the total package!
<Sherwood> you'll see
<BELLA_01> they r all a bit picky here
<BELLA_01> you're a real laugh
<Sherwood> why thank you
<BELLA_01> excellent sense of humour

Even though spelling in the British manner is one of my pet peeves, I overlooked it because she was so cool

<Sherwood> if you get a chance would you check out my website?
<Sherwood> it's www.hogwild.net
<Sherwood> my dream is to become a big famous comedian
<BELLA_01> of course i was just going to ask that
<Sherwood> then i'll get a sitcom
<Sherwood> then it will get cancelled
<Sherwood> then i'll be foreced to do 1-800-Collect commercials
<Sherwood> so what's your dream?
<Sherwood> what do you see yourself doing in 10 years?
<BELLA_01> my dream is to be successful as a person
<Sherwood> c'mon, that's too noble
<Sherwood> don't you have any greedy goals?
<BELLA_01> i would love to be a common star
<Sherwood> what's a common star?
<BELLA_01> not good looking enuff
<Sherwood> like one of the cast of Friends?

<BELLA_01> yeah that would be excellent
<Sherwood> why do you say that?
<Sherwood> do you have a big nose?
<BELLA_01> no
<Sherwood> bc men will overlook that if you make a mean corn on the cob
<Sherwood> are you chunky?
<Sherwood> chunky isn't bad
<BELLA_01> i'm pretty but a bit tall and broad
<Sherwood> what's wrong with that?
<Sherwood> unless you're like 6'8
<Sherwood> are you 6'8"?
<Sherwood> i don't know how tall that is in meters or anything
<BELLA_01> people over here prefer Elle mcpherson look alikes
<Sherwood> well who doesn't.

<Sherwood> but i bet you she doesnt cook!
<BELLA_01> i am 6 ft
<Sherwood> 6 ft!
<Sherwood> that's awesome!
<Sherwood> american men will kill for you
<Sherwood> they'd kill pigeons and people for you
<BELLA_01> i will have to move then
<Sherwood> you need a man who is over 6 ft then
<Sherwood> unless he is comfortable
<BELLA_01> you really will become a comedian then
<Sherwood> but a lot of shorter men like a taller woman
<Sherwood> i mean i would
<Sherwood> bc when you dance, you can lay your head right in her bosoms!
<Sherwood> 6 ft
<BELLA_01> is your wife like that

<Sherwood> my wifey is like 5 ft 9inches

<Sherwood> hmm, are you under 300 pounds?
<BELLA_01> i've certainly got lots of padding what is 300 pounds in kilos
<Sherwood> geez, i'm american
<Sherwood> icant do math
<Sherwood> kilos are 2.2 pounds
<Sherwood> so um it's like 150 kilos
<Sherwood> i think
<BELLA_01> i am about 98 kilos
<Sherwood> so that lke about 200
<Sherwood> but for 6 ft tall
<Sherwood> that might mean you are voluptuous
<BELLA_01> yep
<Sherwood> as in you pack back
<Sherwood> or as jerry springer says, You got Junk in the trunk
<BELLA_01> what??
<Sherwood> but as long as it's not falling out the sides
<Sherwood> it sounds bad
<Sherwood> but it's good
<BELLA_01> hahahahah
<BELLA_01> cant be boney
<Sherwood> but who cares?
<Sherwood> you cook!
<Sherwood> what's your best dish?
<Sherwood> honestly, i'd get with any bim, even 300 pounds if she'd cook great meals 7 days a week
<BELLA_01> yep lasagna
<Sherwood> lasagna
<BELLA_01> steak
<Sherwood> i LOVE lasagna
<Sherwood> steak!
<Sherwood> yes yes!
<Sherwood> see you need to get yourself a lace apron from victoria's secret and cook up a meal for a man
<BELLA_01> roast pork n vegies
<Sherwood> then you will have him on lock
<Sherwood> you're making me HOT HOT HOT!
<BELLA_01> i'll try that
<Sherwood> slow down baby
<BELLA_01> go n see your wifey then
<Sherwood> so you like to let the sauce SIMMER?
<Sherwood> she's sleeping
<BELLA_01> no boil
<Sherwood> i'm downloading pictures of food
<Sherwood> boil, yes boil in its own juices
<Sherwood> so wet, so hot, so tasty!
<Sherwood> see, i told you wasn't normal
<Sherwood> we gotta get you a man
<Sherwood> bc you're too good to be single
<Sherwood> that's a darn shame
<BELLA_01> talking of sleep. i have to work in the morning (sunday every weekend)
<Sherwood> why?
<Sherwood> work is for women who can't cook
<Sherwood> you need a man to take care of you
<Sherwood> let you sleep in
<BELLA_01> i do please
<BELLA_01> find me one
<Sherwood> should i put out a notice on my site?
<BELLA_01> ok
<Sherwood> cool
<Sherwood> and I will do my best to find you a suitable nub
<Sherwood> have a good night!
<BELLA_01> please keep in touch it has been great talking to you
<Sherwood> ok
<Sherwood> bye bye
<BELLA_01> :)
BELLA wants a good honest nub! Are there any out there? If you think you iz, email HogWild: hogwild@hogwild.net  I will forward it to Bella.

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