HOGWILD.NET  semi-hilarious comedy: funny myspace chats, relationship jokes

Expert Dating Advice expert dating advice



Expert Dating Advice
Funny Pictures
Comedy Shows
Contact/Email Me
Free Newsletter
MySpace Group
Free Email
Crazy T-Shirts
Party Poker - Safe, Secure and Fun!
FREE Fantasy Sports

Crazy T-Shirts    Party Poker - Safe, Secure and Fun!      FREE Fantasy Sports


I like to go on MySpace Chat and talk about subjects I know little or nothing about. Spy in on this real chat I had where we talk about bad farts, bad boyfriends, and really really bad pickup lines and how Ohio sucks.  


ADAM: ohio in the house
HogWild: ohio stinks!
HogWild: i lived in ohio, nyc now
ADAM: you stink puuuuuuuuuu
HogWild: it was so boring it made go into a coma
İSic Puppy BabeİT: im guessin im the only one from Uk here.. lol
Steve: im from the uk too
HogWild: adam, where is rittman?
ADAM: <----------farts agian
İSic Puppy BabeİT: wooo im not alone. .
HogWild: dude why are you farting so much?
ADAM: near cleveland
HogWild: what did you eat?
HogWild: i used to live in cleveland
İSic Puppy BabeİT: **puts peg back on nose**
Ben: hog wild, go die somewhere, ohio is a kick ass place to live
HogWild: but i never heard of rittman
HogWild: ben, i would rather die in NYC than live in ohio
ADAM: small town
Ben: then go do it
HogWild: shut up ben
İSic Puppy BabeİT: fight fight fight

Nothing beats a chat room brawl!

HogWild: adam is cool
HogWild: and he's from ohio
HogWild: nothing against the people
HogWild: just that the place is not the most exciting
ADAM: i am kool
İSic Puppy BabeİT: adam farts a lot too.. lol
HogWild: lots of applebees
[ABK]Gavan: I don't like Ohio no offense...
HogWild: farting is cool
ADAM: lol
İSic Puppy BabeİT: farting is funny
[ABK]Gavan: if youre a moron...
ADAM: i know
HogWild: no dude farting is awesome
HogWild: we all have to do it
HogWild: so why not be the best at it!

If there was a trophy for farting, my dad would have melted it.

It would be some golden trophy guy holding up a wreath and the wreath turns brown. Then the trophy guy doubles over in agony.

İSic Puppy BabeİT: well i guess im a moron then
ADAM: i do it a lot
İSic Puppy BabeİT: everyone does it...
HogWild: adam, seriously what do you eat?
[ABK]Gavan: no I mean if you find it funny its idiotic
HogWild: you must drink a lot of milk
ADAM: beans
ADAM: weeners
HogWild: that makes sense
HogWild: you know what makes me fart?
HogWild: hot girls
vicky: kool
HogWild: i get all nervous inside and it makes me gassy
HogWild: it's like sabotage against myself
ADAM: just let it rip
HogWild: sic puppy babeT is making me fart
vicky: nahhh
İSic Puppy BabeİT: wooooo lol

NOTE TO MY GIRLFRIEND:  I love you. I love you. I love you. I was just joking. Please stop squinting your eyes and making fists. 

Ben: wow, that sucks
ADAM: frrrrrrrrrrt
HogWild: the only place not to fart is on an elevator. then you get off and leave everyone in your funk dust
ADAM: lol
ADAM: fart and run
ADAM: i do that
HogWild: the fart and run is not cool
[ABK]Gavan: anyone hear about that car crash that killed all those kids?
HogWild: it's like drive-by
HogWild: very gangsta
HogWild: car crash?
HogWild: that's a serious topic
İSic Puppy BabeİT: my friend used to try and hold his farts..
HogWild: but not as serious as farting on an airplane
ADAM: not good
HogWild: never hold em in!!
HogWild: holding in your farts is dangerous
HogWild: it can lead to tooth decay
HogWild: the ONLY time to hold in a fart is during sex
HogWild: because you dont want the girl to run away screaming
HogWild: but one time i COULDNT hold it
HogWild: i farted during a bj
HogWild: but she was a soldier
HogWild: she kept going
İSic Puppy BabeİT: ewwwww
ADAM: kill the mood
HogWild: i know
HogWild: it was awful
HogWild: i felt really bad
İSic Puppy BabeİT: lmao
ADAM: lmao
HogWild: sic puppy, you live in a place called shoreditch?
HogWild: is that the name for real?
İSic Puppy BabeİT: yep
HogWild: oh my god!
İSic Puppy BabeİT: its a sh!t hole..hahaha
HogWild: they REALLY dont want anyone to visit!
ADAM: i am gonna go for culinary
HogWild: in america we have a city with the NICKNAME shoreditch
HogWild: cleveland
ADAM: no
[ABK]Gavan: I like my computer class I have... I just use it to assault
the school's network...

Why does every dork who goes into computer science have the ultimate goal of hacking into their school's computers? You're talented. Do something worthwhile!

You don't see this with other talents. Does the college baseball team dream of hitting baseballs through the school's windows?

HogWild: adam, you are going to be a cook?
HogWild: holy crap!
HogWild: youre going to be farting in my food!
İSic Puppy BabeİT: ahaha

İSic Puppy BabeİT: 1 good thing tho....i live near the west end and city
of london woooo

HogWild: oh your near london, sweet
İSic Puppy BabeİT: in London
HogWild: i loved the episode of married with children when they go to london and upper uncton
HogWild: and Mr bean rules!
Ben: never seen that
HogWild: and so does benny hill
İSic Puppy BabeİT: London sucks..
HogWild: really?
HogWild: why?
HogWild: because it always rains and the people have smelly teeth?
ADAM: like farting
vicky: aww
Ben: lol benny hill
HogWild: benny hill was the breast!
HogWild: i mean the best
İSic Puppy BabeİT: i just dont really like london
HogWild: no, i mean the breast
HogWild: he always had hot babes
HogWild: WHY dont you like london
HogWild: did someone from london steal your luggage?
İSic Puppy BabeİT: lol no
ADAM: i am hot
HogWild: adam IS hot. hot like a juicy fart
ADAM: yea
vicky: thats fukin stinker
HogWild: hot steamy caramel fart
HogWild: well i guess london is no shoreditch
İSic Puppy BabeİT: most of my friends dont live in london no more.. so
im all alone..
ADAM: <-----------farts
HogWild: oh thats why
HogWild: that makes sense
HogWild: where did they all move to? akron?
ADAM: lol
ADAM: haha
HogWild: why didnt you go with them?
HogWild: did they leave you because you kept stealing their boyfriends?
HogWild: or their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?
İSic Puppy BabeİT: pfft.. their bfs suck lmao
HogWild: whoa!
ADAM: i am hungry
HogWild: adam, dont eat

HogWild: you will only fart it out

İSic Puppy BabeİT: they r all twats that think they can hit on any girl even when they have girlfriends

HogWild: oh yeah thats slimy
[ABK]Gavan: Twats...
Ben: i hit on girls and i can't get a g/f
HogWild: if you have a gf you shouldn't hit on other girls
HogWild: while your gf is looking
HogWild: HA HA H!
HogWild: just kidding
İSic Puppy BabeİT: hahahaha
HogWild: no thats bad
[ABK]Gavan: You said "Twat"
[ABK]Gavan: hahahha
HogWild: why be in a relationship if you want to mess with other girls?
İSic Puppy BabeİT: my so called ex-boyfriend was a twat. lmao.
HogWild: why not just be single?
HogWild: your ex was twat?
Ben: twat did u say?
HogWild: does that make you a lesbian?
Ben: i cunt hear you
Ben: i have an ear infucktion
[ABK]Gavan: LOL
HogWild: why do you go out with twats?
HogWild: was he the only boy un your math class or something?
İSic Puppy BabeİT: he kept flirting with my best friend.. while i was there..
HogWild: there are plenty of cool guys out there
HogWild: oooh thats messed up!
HogWild: thats terrible
ADAM: kool lesbian get on the pool table
HogWild: he's supposed to make you feel special
HogWild: now you should kick him in the nuts
HogWild: what did you say to him?
********** at 8:59 PM harleygirl_666 enters the room

Ben: my brother has a harley, wanna have sex?
HogWild: nice line ben
Ben: lol
harleygirl_666: no
[ABK]Gavan: lol
********** at 9:00 PM harleygirl_666 left the room

İSic Puppy BabeİT: I told him to get lost and screw himself. woo lmao
Ben: i hate people with no sense of humor
HogWild: girls love it when you ask for sex in the 1st 3 seconds
[ABK]Gavan: Its "I want to make sex with you please and thank you"
HogWild: so you left him right away?
İSic Puppy BabeİT: yep..
HogWild: thats very strong of you
Ben: i made a connection which is the 1st step in picking someone up
Call and Return: so its nice shoes wanna screw?
HogWild: but did you kick him in the nuts?
Ben: like, I like tea!
ADAM: so do i
[ABK]Gavan: Nice weather today! Lets have sex!
HogWild: HA HA AH!
İSic Puppy BabeİT: he didnt like it when i spoke to guys online or face to face.. stupid d!ckhead mwhahaha
HogWild: i was laughing at adam
HogWild: bc i think ben's pickup line accidentally worked on him
HogWild: oh and he was jealous, too?
İSic Puppy BabeİT: so im single again.. woooo
HogWild: what a great combination!
Call and Return: no its do u have a mirror in ur back pocket
[ABK]Gavan: Me so horny, me love you long time!
Call and Return: cuz i swear i can see myself in ur pants
ADAM: so do i i like tea too
HogWild: tea makes adam fart
İSic Puppy BabeİT: haha
ADAM: i drink it a lot
HogWild: yeah, i bet

What did we learn?

Don't hit on other bims in front of your bim. Pick-up lines don't work in bars, in church, or in chat rooms. And Ohio sucks.



Web www.hogwild.net

Check out my professional Dating Advice videos!

Now go watch my Expert Dating Advice videos!


Professional Dating Advice videos! Your dating advice questions answered!

Professional Dating Advice videos by HogWild!

Pickspal FREE Fantasy Sports Pick Site

HOGWILD.NET  semi-hilarious comedy: funny myspace chats, relationship jokes