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Best of HogWild's FUNNY CHATS

From time to time HogWild will log on to various Chats, mostly regarding subjects he knows little or nothing about.  So in an effort to proclaim his stupidity, we present to you another inane conversation with HogWild.

In this Chat I go by the name Sherwood and assume the character of a redneck American gay biker who loves his Confederate Flag and his Harley Davidson. Little did I know I'd be the only American in the chat room! My stereotype that all gays are open-minded was totally shattered as I learned that gays can be as stupid and xenophobic as any big-breasts-loving heterosexual. Now beware, this chat gets brutal. Kinda graphic and down right belligerent. So if you're too young to know your belligerent from your butt-gerent, then turn back before you are corrupted with queerness! For the rest of you, enjoy this war of words! 

*** Now talking in #gaybikers
<sherwood> hey there!
<sherwood> I'm lookin' here for some gay bikers!
<sherwood> any of yawl queer?
<sherwood> now are we talkin' motorcycles or unicycles?
<sherwood> Cuz I need me a man who's got a powerful machine between his legs!
<sm-rekrut> LOL
<sherwood> not no sissy bicycle that you deliver the mornin' paper with!
<sherwood> so who here rides?
<sherwood> why yawl so quiet?
<sherwood> still in the closet?
<sherwood> HA!
<sherwood> come out ya queers!
<sherwood> let's party!

Once again I pick a winner of a chat room where absolutely no one is chatting. I don't understand these people. They get on to chat and then they all sit around fiddling their diddling!

<sherwood> let's play a game
<sherwood> i'll give you a hypothetical sich-ee-a-shun
<sherwood> if you done did it, just say YES
<sherwood> Ok, here's the first one
<sherwood> got it on with 2 dudes at the same time
<sherwood> anybody?
<sherwood> wow, a bunch of prisses up in here!
<sherwood> anyone got in on with 2 nubs simultaneously?
<sm-rekrut> u think ?
<sherwood> i KNOW!
<sherwood> well if no one has even done THAT . . .
<sherwood> okay, i'll soften it up then
<sherwood> respond with YES if you have . . .
<sherwood> licked a lollipop then stuck it up your rump
<sherwood> i know I have!
<sherwood> the question is, did you then lick it AGAIN?!
<LeatherR6> whatever ure on m8 it must be good!!
<sherwood> damn good!
<sherwood> Gay power!
<sherwood> why ain't no one talkin' in here?
<sherwood> everyone must have their MOUTHS full!
<sherwood> HA!
<sherwood> i guess I'm the only unlucky one here
<Glovedman> coz we cant get a word in!
<sherwood> well speak up, boy!
<Glovedman> you got a pic?
<sherwood> i like your nick Glovedman
<sherwood> do you spank it with the Glove on or off?
<sherwood> I do like me some white-gloved service when I'm bein' serviced...
<Glovedman> all the time...
<sherwood> does yer glove got rhinestones on 'em like Michael Jackson?
<Glovedman> when you getting yer fingers/jaw re-bushed?
<LeatherR6> so, what bike have u got sherwood?
<sherwood> say what?
<sherwood> i got me a little sissy bike
<sherwood> i ride a unicycle with training wheels!
<Glovedman> i bet
<LeatherR6> sounds about right
<sherwood> no, i ride a 3-wheeler
<Glovedman> the out riders worn out so yer come to play with the big boys huh?
<sherwood> i don't know what yer meanin' but if yer a big boy, i do want to play
<Glovedman> ok start on the M6 thats a good start
<sherwood> i know what yer thinkin', who is this redneck lavender-lover?
<sm-rekrut> well said Glovedman
<sherwood> but i like to type the way i talk
<sherwood> straight to the point
<Glovedman> what a loada crap
<sherwood> liven things up a bit
<Glovedman> bet yer breath smells sweet
<sherwood> it always do
<sherwood> i like to suck on peppermints
<sherwood> keep it nice-like for my boys
<sherwood> why, does your breath smell like you ate your way thru a bag of Fertilizer?
<Glovedman> not bull flavour?
<sherwood> can't stand a boy with nasty-ass breath!
<Glovedman> where you from sherwood?
<sherwood> "bull flavour", you even SPELL queer!
<sherwood> ha!
<sherwood> i like you Glove-Love
<sherwood> i sure do!
<sherwood> i'm from the US of A
<sherwood> in the Deep South, if you couldn't of guessed that
<sherwood> i'm a Confederate
<Glovedman> i rest my case!
<sherwood> a Rump Rammin' Rebel to the day I die!
<sherwood> YEEEHA!
<Glovedman> like the wide open spaces?
<sherwood> aw, it is nice out here
<sherwood> plenty of dirt roads for my bike
<Glovedman> plenty of room for all the shite

Now the fight begins . . .

<sherwood> i thought we was cool GloverLover
<sherwood> now you want to make fun of my Country?
<gay-SKIN> Sind eingentlich Biker aus Berlin online?
<sherwood> I suggest you don't do that
* pvc_boyz are 2 pervy biker guys, 33 & 34, based near Manchester, NW England, into plastic & rubber. Looking for similar kinky minded guys to meet up with, chat with, or whatever, self pics to swap Pls msg us.
<sherwood> I may be gay
<sherwood> but I'm American first
<Glovedman> i dont need to
<sherwood> where you from Glove-Rub?
<Glovedman> your counrty is great!
<sherwood> some fancy place like Liverpool?
<sherwood> Or maybe Scotchland
<sherwood> Damn RubberGlover, we's all people
<sherwood> why do ya have to throw a wedge between us?
<sherwood> or maybe that's your way of comin' on to me? :)
* sm-rekrut thinks he has had enough of the mareican for a while
<Glovedman> have i said anything thats up set you?
<sherwood> see, you don't talk straight
<sherwood> just say what's on yer mind
<sherwood> so when did you know you was queer Glove-Stud?
<Glovedman> have i said anything thats up set you?
<Glovedman> well i will now!
<sherwood> fine, have it your way
<pvc_boyz> GM who is this idiot yank? 
<Glovedman> i dunno
<sherwood> I'm just here tryin' to make some conversation with some people who don't even chat in a chatroom
<pvc_boyz> a friend of yours?
<sherwood> IDIOT?
<sm-rekrut> grinz
<pvc_boyz> oh yeah matey 
<Glovedman> it rolled in with the tummble weed
<pvc_boyz> you'd better believe it 
<sherwood> how dare you judge me
<sherwood> you don't even know me
<sherwood> just becuz of the way a person talk
<pvc_boyz> typical yank spouting shite 
<sherwood> damn fools
<pvc_boyz> and dont wanna 
<sherwood> i ain't spoutin' nothin'
<sherwood> just tryin' to meet some people
<Glovedman> we do but we know when to SHUT UP!
<sherwood> just like a bunch of foreign queers
<pvc_boyz> f$#@ off back to your side of IRC and leave us real people alone!
<sherwood> all into themselves
<sherwood> i am real people
<pvc_boyz> and your a yanky LOSER! 
<sherwood> see, when i got here, no one was talkin'
<sherwood> now ya is
<sherwood> if ya didn't want to chat, why the hell is ya on IRC?
<pvc_boyz> so that was your master plan was it?
<sherwood> and i ain't insulted no body
<sherwood> i ain't got no plan
<sherwood> i just wanna meet some people
<sherwood> it's yawl who got the bias
<sherwood> yawl who is all discriminatin'
<pvc_boyz> no you're just getting up everyones nose with the way you talk 
<Glovedman> please shut up we have paid for those 40 destroyers years ago...please SHUT UP YOU TOAD!
<sherwood> how should I talk?
<sherwood> that's the way I was raised
<Glovedman> dont
<sherwood> okay, so we'll all have some silence

(no one speaks for about 3 minutes)

<sherwood> this is so exciting
<pvc_boyz> dont use the word queer for starters, it maybe trendy in the states to say that but we dont like it 
<sherwood> ok
<sherwood> see didn't know that
<sherwood> it's a different culture is all
<pvc_boyz> well you do now 
<sherwood> in the states we say Queer, Buttmuncher, Dirty Doughnut Licker, Potty Plunger
<sherwood> all sorts of names
<sherwood> ain't no offense meant
<pvc_boyz> aint they just charming words to use huh 
<pvc_boyz> just look at them 
<sherwood> Colon Cleanser
<sherwood> see yawl are just too sensitive
<sherwood> when you've been oppressed for so long
<pvc_boyz> no like i said b4 we're real 
<sherwood> how CAN you take those terms to be derogotory
<pvc_boyz> we dont live in TV land 
* ff-biker tosses some apostrophes at sherwood
<sherwood> when you've lived in your own way for so long
<punkboy> woof ff
<sherwood> you think i haven't had the same experiences as you?
<sherwood> the self-doubt
* punkboy licks ff-bikers boots
<pvc_boyz> yeah it's called history, something you lot know nothing about 
<sherwood> bein' ostracized by my family
<sherwood> i have it as hard as you
<Glovedman> cant blame them
<sherwood> that's it Glovedman!
<Glovedman> did they beat you as a kid?
<sherwood> take the Gloves off cuz thems fightin' words!
<sherwood> you don't talk about my FAMILY!
<sherwood> you little punk!
<sherwood> i should wring your little jammy-slurpin' neck!
<pvc_boyz> dont think he was 
<pvc_boyz> just askin you a question 
<sherwood> I come over there and stick a stool up your ass!
<Glovedman> ho hum
<pvc_boyz> oh ha ha 
<sherwood> cram some tuna fish down your throat
<tph> lol
<Glovedman> get of it frist
<pvc_boyz> what a funny man you are 
<sherwood> while it's still in the can!
<pvc_boyz> the can?
<sherwood> i'll rub your whole face in ky-jelly
<sherwood> i'll make you eat out my ARM PIT
<pvc_boyz> can you get them in cans now?
<pvc_boyz> hmmmm 
<sherwood> you good fer nothin' little bitch!
<pvc_boyz> ooohhhhhh
<Glovedman> bet thats fun
<sherwood> i'll make you lick my rim after I eat 20 tacos
<Glovedman> spank me daddy
<pvc_boyz> big man huh GM 
<sherwood> i'll spray you with my own urine
<pvc_boyz> HAHAHAH 
<sherwood> ya give us queers a bad name
<pvc_boyz> big words from a sad yank twat 
<the_rope> yep - all dogs spray
<sherwood> keep the glove on and oil it up
<sherwood> yer gonna need it
<sherwood> go wank off with sandpaper
<sherwood> i hope you get rammed in the ass by a big black gay horse!
<tph> nice!
<Glovedman> please daddy....want a hadn outta yer rockin chair yer ol fart
<pvc_boyz> you are very strnage aint ya sher 
<sherwood> i'll bludgeon yer eyes out with my lightning rod!
<the_rope> strange dont even come close
<pvc_boyz> f$#@%ed up maybe 
<sherwood> i have you slam on my pole so hard i'll burst your lung
<pvc_boyz> prehapes thats closer 
<sherwood> i'll use yer ears as handles on the they pull of yer head!
<pvc_boyz> i hope you're getting off on this sherwood, cos no bugger here is 
<sherwood> you sissy!
<sherwood> and if that don't do it
<the_rope> sad
<the_rope> sad
<the_rope> sad
<sherwood> i'll force you to make love to that big fat beast, Rosie O'Donnell!
<sherwood> that'll teach ya!
<Glovedman> yeah yeah....wil you treat me bad?..like never talk to me again??? PLEASE
<the_rope> while you make love to your hand?
<Glovedman> PUNISH ME WITH SILENCE
<sherwood> i'll punish you by making you smell your own fecal-breath after you swallow my chocolate load
<pvc_boyz> OH i'm hurting so much! 
<sherwood> I ride a HARLEY
<sherwood> you sissies can't even handle a Harley
<the_rope> that figures
<pvc_boyz> you really are a very sad little man 
<sherwood> wait 'til I unzip my pants
<sherwood> you'll bite your tongue
<sherwood> then you'll bite my grapes
<sherwood> my BIG OL' Grapes
<pvc_boyz> wouldnt touch one of those piles of sh%$ with yours sherwood!
<the_rope> what - piles?
<sherwood> i'll feed 'em to you nice like 
<Glovedman> harley thats a tractor aint it?...you going ploughin boy?
<pvc_boyz> Harleys are so crap! 
<sherwood> damn it!
<pvc_boyz> they never work
<pvc_boyz> leak like a whore 
<sherwood> now you've insulted my country, my family-- and worst of all my HARLEY!
<pvc_boyz> you are such a tosser 
<sherwood> I bet you fags ride neon pink Kawasaki's
<pvc_boyz> how the f$#@ can you get away with such bullsh@# i'll never know 
<sherwood> soundin like a little bitch when you rev her up
<ff-biker> Damn! He knows my secret.
<the_rope> harley=sh^% anyway
<pvc_boyz> the really sad thing is you take yourself seriously 
<sherwood> Harley is the one and only
<sherwood> CLASSIC American craftsmanship
<the_rope> one and only pile of wank
<Glovedman> please god they make a f$# up...and move the ozone hole over that arsehole and dry him up
<ff-biker> *chuckle*
<Rubbiker> glad you are so happy with yr Harley
<sherwood> go ahead and ride yer Jap-mobiles
<the_rope> classic american - hmmm - there's a contradiction in terms
<sherwood> little toys is what they are
<pvc_boyz> LOL
<sherwood> like Pokemon
<sherwood> you losers ride Pickachu Bikes!
<Glovedman> when was the states formed?
<the_rope> america = 200 yrs old - we have car parks older than that
<pvc_boyz> but they can bet the pants off your archaic pile of us crap! 
<sherwood> not a one of ya could handle ridin' on the back of my Harley
<Glovedman> 100..200 years ago...
<Glovedman> just a child
<sherwood> yeah, America is a young country
<sherwood> and already we's the strongest in the world!
<ff-biker> Would you care to be a bit more polite, Sherwood?
<pvc_boyz> over here they are seen as ladies bikes 
<sherwood> ladies bike?
<sherwood> HA! 
<pvc_boyz> the only harley riders i know are girls 
<the_rope> nah - even ladies reject harley

now, being that I know absolutely nothing about motorcycles, I have to start making stuff up

<sherwood> quad-engines
<pvc_boyz> who like the vibration
<sherwood> 9 billion horsepower
<the_rope> hehehe
<pvc_boyz> ahha 
<the_rope> another acurate american claim
<pvc_boyz> 9 you say 
<sherwood> i run over yer face with my Harley and have you fartin' out my exhaust
<pvc_boyz> wow
<Glovedman> get off the cooker mother ...yer too old to ride the range!
<pvc_boyz> LOL
<sherwood> yawl better not get yer asses kicked in another war, cuz the US of A ain't gonna be there to bail ya out this time!
<sherwood> why don't you all move to France
<the_rope> lol
<pvc_boyz> now thats funny 
<the_rope> wot - like vietnam u mean
<sherwood> that way you can live with a bunch of cowards like you is
<pvc_boyz> he does have a sence of humor guys 
<ff-biker> He does? He hides it well.
<sherwood> here Mr. Hitler, take the Eiffel Tower
<Glovedman> well you was a tad late the last time... but you been there early ever since you war mongering a$$ holes
<sherwood> Now, how does that Kraut National Anthem go again?
<sherwood> war monger?
<pvc_boyz> and Mr USA sites on his fat arse and does nothing for 4 years 
<sherwood> we keepin' the peace!
<the_rope> lol
<the_rope> wot - like el salvador
<sherwood> don't even think the USA didn't save Europe in Dubbya Dubbya two!
<sherwood> you cant handle yer own bizness is what happened
<sherwood> man, if Canada invaded us, we wouldn't cry for Sweden to help up
<Glovedman> you wanker... 
<pvc_boyz> like you handled the Gulf huh 
<the_rope> lol
<sherwood> we kicked some ASS in the Gulf
<sherwood> we left Sodom Hussein to rot
<sherwood> starvin' his ass out for 10 years
<pvc_boyz> i think it was more us soldiers were killed by their own men than the Iruq army 
<the_rope> yeah - your own - how many of its own planes did america shoot down in the gulf?
<pvc_boyz> most i think 
<sherwood> and how many euro's helped out when little Kuwait was invaded?
<sherwood> NONE
<pvc_boyz> or was it crashed helicoptrs 
<sherwood> i bet yawl pansies threw on yer sky blue berets, didn't ya?
<sherwood> no you didn't
<sherwood> no one does nothin 'cept the US
<pvc_boyz> without us you'd be nothing, just remember that ! 
<sherwood> how you figger?
<pvc_boyz> what a load of bollox 
<sherwood> without the USA you wouldn't even be on IRC!
<pvc_boyz> without us there would be NO USA 
<pvc_boyz> read your history 
<sherwood> we created the internet
<sherwood> just cuz Europe was around first don't mean nothin'
<sherwood> we left cuz it sucked
<Glovedman> WHAT HISTORY??
<sherwood> we made our own nation
<Glovedman> outta sh$# n straw
<pvc_boyz> the real one not thew one written by the states to brainwash it's people 
<sherwood> just like Australia
<sherwood> and Canada
<the_rope> actually the intertnet was created by cern
<sherwood> conCERN yourself with this
<sherwood> i heard it myself
<sherwood> AL Gore invented the internet
<sherwood> he's an American!
<the_rope> the canadians LOATHE americans
<sherwood> Canada needs America
<pvc_boyz> i know i lived there for quite a while 
<the_rope> but who can blame em
<pvc_boyz> f%$@ off
<sherwood> if we wasnt there, Russia woulda swallowed them whole years ago
<pvc_boyz> the other way round mate 
<pvc_boyz> where would you get most of your natural resource from huh?
<sherwood> whose movies you watchin'?
<sherwood> USA
<pvc_boyz> you rape Canada 
<sherwood> whose TV you watchin'?
<sherwood> USA
<pvc_boyz> sorry how does that follow ?
<sherwood> who you watchin' go to war while you sit with your FRENCH toast and cry?
<sherwood> USA
<pvc_boyz> if you lose, do you always retreat to TV land again?
<sherwood> we run things
<pvc_boyz> you wish ! 
<sherwood> whose music do you listen to?
<the_rope> lol
<sherwood> hell David Hasselhoff is #1 in Germant
<sherwood> but he ain't even number 1 million in the USA
<sherwood> that goes to show that America kicks ass
<pvc_boyz> when we are all one Europe, hey guess what, theres a new super power and it aint you buddy 
<nthLonLad> now now boys
<the_rope> yep - it's own
<sherwood> you were never one Europe
<sherwood> cuz yawl are bickerin' little bitches
<pvc_boyz> watch this space! 
<sherwood> you aint never gonna be united
<the_rope> isn't it sad how these pathetic little americans run around with these huge inferiority complexes
<pvc_boyz> cos then we can squash you like the knat you are 
<sherwood> why cant you squash us now?
<sherwood> hey i ain't mad at ya
<sherwood> i love all people
<pvc_boyz> the boil on the arse of the whole, that's America
<sherwood> the usa needs you to buy our products
<sherwood> eat some American MacDonalds
<erik-Ams> cus we're civilized in europe
<sherwood> HA!
<sherwood> civilized?
<pvc_boyz> hear hear 
<sherwood> hello? Holocaust?
<sherwood> Hello? Bosnia?
<pvc_boyz> far more that you lost 
<sherwood> Hello? Inquisition?
<pvc_boyz> hello george bush! 
<pvc_boyz> you want scarey look at him 
<sherwood> hello Chamberlain
<sherwood> Hello Adolf Hitler
<nthLonLad> calm down lads ;-))
<pvc_boyz> ok 
<sherwood> your Eurpean friend Adolf would've had all of us in this room killed
<the_rope> ronald raegan - now there's scarey!
<pvc_boyz> how about Cuba?
<pvc_boyz> Granada 
<pvc_boyz> vietiam 
<pvc_boyz> korea 
<sherwood> damn commies
<pvc_boyz> you want more?
<sherwood> yawl didn't wanna help 'em
<sherwood> so we had to try
<pvc_boyz> there you go 
<Boothound> and this discussion has to do WHAT with gaybikers?
<wadersFFM> young nation...let them make their mistakes
<sherwood> Fall of Poland
<wadersFFM> we did ourīs yearhundreds ago...LOL
<sherwood> current government in Austria
<pvc_boyz> it's this arse yank twat boothound 
<sherwood> Switzerland stealing money from dead Jews
<pvc_boyz> oh i think i hear a pot calling a kettle black 
<sherwood> The Spice Girls
<sherwood> ain't no way you can apologize for them!
<pvc_boyz> and how much have the Americans stolen from the Japanese
<pvc_boyz> the Jews 
<pvc_boyz> the Canadians?
<Boothound> didn't the US put japs in camps during WWII?
<the_rope> oi - here's some colored beads - sell me manhatten island
<Boothound> even those with US citzenship?
<sherwood> hey i never said the USA didnt make mistakes
<pvc_boyz> and of course as civilised poeple the US of A treat their native poeple really well dont ya 
<sherwood> yes we do!
<sherwood> they all got Casinos and don't pay taxes!
<pvc_boyz> you are too sad ! 
<Boothound> all countries got sh$# infront of their doors.. let that be.. no country is clean and white.. 
<pvc_boyz> f%$@ off you do 
<sherwood> of course no country is perfect
<sherwood> see i wasn't bringin' any of this up until these people startin' gettin on me about the way i speak
<sherwood> that's typical European
<pvc_boyz> oh so here comes the diplomate 
<sherwood> dont like someone different
<sherwood> that why you cant get along
<sherwood> so much hate
<sherwood> in America we got problems
<pvc_boyz> no, we dont like losers and total pains in the arse 
<sherwood> but still we have the most diverse country in the world
<pvc_boyz> of course you are 
<the_rope> aint that the truth - it's diverse cos nobody knows where they come from
<sherwood> and it's probably better that way
<pvc_boyz> you carry on believing that all is well and lovely in the USA 
<sherwood> it's damn good
<Glovedman> baked beans
<sherwood> i got my country music
<pvc_boyz> you just go on with your blinkered little life 
<sherwood> my baked beans, yup
<sherwood> and my Harley
<pvc_boyz> you get more sad by the minute 
<the_rope> country music - baked beans - all sounds the same
<BritSkin> not America is great sh%$ again
<pvc_boyz> aint that the truth 
<pvc_boyz> oh yeah BritSkin 
<pvc_boyz> this guys a classic 
<sherwood> the only thing good to come out of Britain was Benny Hill
<Glovedman> mungrels the lot of them
<pvc_boyz> a real genuine cowboy 
<sherwood> see Glovedman is a Nazi
<sherwood> a GAY NAZI
<sherwood> HA!
<sherwood> callin me a mongrel
<sherwood> you pure Aryan!
<BritSkin> they have no identity of their own so they steal it from those that have
<the_rope> true
<pvc_boyz> yep 
<sherwood> blue eyes, blonde hair, herpes ass
<pvc_boyz> no history you see 
<nthLonLad> oh u mean by anything old and british
<sherwood> we got history!
<the_rope> lol
<pvc_boyz> like what?
<the_rope> history?
<the_rope> what history
<pvc_boyz> f$# all 
<nthLonLad> they have no class the yanks and love our snobbery ;-))
<sherwood> the history of a 1000 nations
<Boothound> the US history is at most 200 years... 
<pvc_boyz> it's all recent to us 
<sherwood> all peoples escapin' to come the US
<pvc_boyz> yep 
<Glovedman> rejects
<pvc_boyz> LOL 
<sherwood> i don't see anyone immigrating to YOUR country
<pvc_boyz> aint that the truth 
<Boothound> New York was first called New Amsterdam.. 
<sherwood> why do they come to America?
<sherwood> because of opportunity
<sherwood> and the awesome Gay bars in the Village of NYC!
<pvc_boyz> which it hasnt got 
<Glovedman> no coz they cant make it where they r....land of the free!! land of wasters
<Boothound> hmmm... dosen't NYC only got one leather club.. Lure?
<pvc_boyz> there are more poor poeple in the US than anywhere else in the western world 
<sherwood> Yes we have Dutch blood, and English, and Polish, and Mexican, and Chinese
<Boothound> Amsterdam got at least 4
<the_rope> mongrels u mean
<sherwood> a lot of hate out there
<sherwood> a lot of jealousy
<sherwood> callin' me a mongrel
<pvc_boyz> i dont think so 
<pvc_boyz> yep! 
<sherwood> you boys get your swastikas on now
<Glovedman> yes you make hate ..it is like a by product...like sh%$...and boy have we heard a lot from you
<the_rope> if the cap fits - wear it
<sherwood> get ready for the pep rally
<sherwood> the Raw Rump Reich awaits ya
<sherwood> Hitler lives in your hearts
<sherwood> sad
<pvc_boyz> this guys a total wanker 
<sherwood> i thought racism was bad here in America
<the_rope> hmmm - heard of the KKK
<pvc_boyz> hehe
<sherwood> it's worse where you all is at
<pvc_boyz> nope we just dont like wankers 
<BritSkin> sherwood....YOU are a D%$#HEAD
<sherwood> i thought us queers was more open minded than that
<Glovedman> Dear Mr hitler please do all you can to kill this a$$ hole....my prayer for the end of the day
<the_rope> britskin - spot on!
<pvc_boyz> and you're very open minded aint ya Sherwood 
<the_rope> thats due to the hole in his head
<sherwood> i am
<pvc_boyz> yeah right 
<sherwood> but if you insult me, i have to spit back at ya
<sherwood> that's all
<nthLonLad> he's gone
<Glovedman> like a toilet pan
<Boothound> opened asses you mean pvc? ;-)
<Boothound> assed..

Though I love my Home of the Brave I really don't have anything against other countries (except France.) So I wanted to at least TRY to bring some unity by talking about my extensive world travels. The only problem is I don't have any extensive world travels so I had to make it up.

<sherwood> i been around the world and aye aye aye
<sherwood> i been to Big Ben
<sherwood> sat on his face
<sherwood> lovely brits
<sherwood> had some tea with a fella named Nigel
<sherwood> nice man
<Glovedman> st stephens clock tower a$$ hole
<sherwood> been to Portugal
<sherwood> Been to Spain
<sherwood> didn't run with the Bulls
<sherwood> but i met a BUll!
<sherwood> I been to Greece
<sherwood> saw the ruins
<BritSkin> you haven't learnt a lot for your travel then have you sherwood
<sherwood> met a nice Greek man with a farm
<BritSkin> you look but don't see
<sherwood> I seen it all
<sherwood> what a beautiful world
<the_rope> wish you'd buy a farm!
<sherwood> i just never met a bigger bunch of ignant fools than you
<sherwood> everywhere i been i met nice people
<sherwood> 'cept here
<the_rope> well -you don't have to stay here if u don't like it
<BritSkin> sherwood, are you on drugs?
<sherwood> i been to Israel too
<Boothound> yeah.. and no need for bulls on that farm.. there would be enough BS to go around anyway..
<sherwood> seen Jerusalem
<sherwood> the wailing wall
<sherwood> that was some serious stuff
<the_rope> and now we have the wailing yank
<sherwood> i bet you guys havent even been out of yer own back yards
<sherwood> I aint' never been to China though
<Glovedman> wats the % of yanks that have a passport?
<sherwood> I'd like to get to Asia
<sherwood> Americans love to travel
<Boothound> "in case of emergency.. put your head between your knees and kiss your butt goodbye".. 
<sherwood> ignant fools
<Boothound> can't you do that sherwood?
<sherwood> i been to mexico too
<the_rope> yep - but given the inteligence of your average american they obviously dont want to let them out of the country
<sherwood> I been to Jamaica
<sherwood> i been to Puerto Rico
<sherwood> I even been to New Jersey!
<sherwood> can't say I'd go back tho
<sherwood> where have yawl been?
<sherwood> any of yawl been to the States?
<pvc_boyz> far to many to list on here and bore everyone, unlike someone on here 
<sherwood> if ya don't talk, no one will
<sherwood> go on
<Glovedman> to the grave...if god is willing ..pass the razor someone
<sherwood> shaddup you old fag!
<pvc_boyz> hehe 
<sherwood> Gloved-Gay can't even get it up anymore
<sherwood> got his little jammy on a wooden splint
<sherwood> ties it to a q-tip to hold it up
<Glovedman> oh t will....my fist up you yank trap
<pvc_boyz> have you ever met GM, sherwood?

(after, I realize he was talking about his butt-buddy GlovedMan)

<sherwood> now who is GM?
<sherwood> George Michael?
<sherwood> I wish!
<sherwood> he is so fine
<pvc_boyz> of god sake you're thick 
<sherwood> i'm glad he came out the closet
* Glovedman looks 4 the cockroach powder
<sherwood> love his music
<sherwood> i want your sex
<sherwood> gotta have Faith
<sherwood> good stuff
<sherwood> now there's a brit with talent!
<sherwood> ooh, i like Boy George too!
<pvc_boyz> i think this guys on crack
<sherwood> Culture Club is making a comeback, ya hear?
<BritSkin> time to puke, c u all
<the_rope> or talkin out of his crack
<pvc_boyz> for god sake he even thinks that the USA is great 
<Boothound> he's on something thats alright... 
<sherwood> i'm on top of the world!
<Boothound> I think he has sat down on a bedpole .. too fast.. 
<pvc_boyz> hehe
<sherwood> i'm sittin' on my Harley
<sherwood> got my leather gloves on
<Boothound> its pokeing him in his brain.. 
<Glovedman> farmers boy
<sherwood> got my American blue jeans on
<sherwood> my Wranglers
<sherwood> got my Harley Davidson boots on
<Glovedman> made in china
<pvc_boyz> they went out of date years ago mate 
<Boothound> sewn in Korea buy small children.. 
<sherwood> got my special belt buckle all shinied up
<sherwood> ready to RIDE!
<Glovedman> why cant it be his mouth??
<sherwood> i'll be seein' you old limp-wrists!
<sherwood> gotta hit the dirt
<pvc_boyz> well why dont you go do that Sherwood, str8 into a lamppost 
<sherwood> rev up the Harley and kick some ass!
<Boothound> well.. get your fat ass roleing down the road.. and be careful.. the road might turn.. something you guys aren't used to.. 
<sherwood> so much hate for a fellow freak-nik
<pvc_boyz> haha
<sherwood> i aint fat
<pvc_boyz> bet you are 
<the_rope> but harleys are!
<sherwood> not all us Americans is fat
<pvc_boyz> all american are 
<Glovedman> NIGHT CHAPS.... and you a$$hole
<sherwood> look at all the stereotypes
<pvc_boyz> Night GM 
<sherwood> goodnight Glover-Rubber, I love you
<sherwood> i ain't got nothin' but love for you
<sherwood> you made me smile today
<sherwood> cuz I know you got a shriveled up little jammy
<Glovedman> hope he's dead by the mornin...if not im goin over in oct i'll do the job then...no court in the world would convict me!
<sherwood> and i'm so happy my thick veiny American-made Man-meat still works good!
<the_rope> justifiable germicide
<Boothound> well.. this room stinks.. and its not of biker grease.. as one might have hoped.. 
<pvc_boyz> what you mouth Sherwood?
<sherwood> goodbye limp d%$#s!
<pvc_boyz> cos it aint shut up 
<sherwood> go grease it up to one of our AMERICAN hunks
<sherwood> like Brad Pitt
<pvc_boyz> yeah you have fun on you old out of date Harley with your styless jeans and your sad belt buckle 
<sherwood> imagine your penile cord bein' swallowed up by Brad Pitt's thick American lips
<sherwood> and remember he eats AMERICAN hot dogs

Brad Pitt, if you're out there, I apologize. I have no idea why I had to bring you into this mess. Well, except that I suspect you're a Fantasy for every gay man on Earth.

<the_rope> thick american sound acurate
<sherwood> with mustard
<pvc_boyz> you keep living the American Dream, even though it's a nightmere for everyone else
<sherwood> not mayonaise
<the_rope> american hot dogs - as in 'ich bin ein berlinner'?
<sherwood> cuz i was BORN in the USA
<sherwood> yes I was BORN IN THE USA!
<sherwood> ich bin ein berlinner!
<pvc_boyz> for f%$# sake it's Bruce Springstein 
<sherwood> 'specially if yawl got some free t-shirts for me
<sherwood> ich ein der achtung Berlin sourkraut David Hasselhoff!
<sherwood> PEACE!

And so HogWild (as Sherwood) manages to piss off the entire continent of Europe! Way to go!

 

 

 

 

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