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HogWild's Britney Spears News

Britney Spears News and Jokes

by HogWild

* Britney Spears had her baby blessed at a Hindu temple.

So Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are Hindu now? That's perfect for
Kevin! Because after Britney divorces him and his new CD bombs, he'll
fit right in on his new job driving a taxi.

* Britney Spears, a Christian in Jewish Kabbalah classes, had her baby blessed at a Hindu temple. Does Britney think she is at Baskin-Robbins, sampling the 31 flavors?

Britney: "I'll have a small cup of the Butter Hindu Pecan. And... a Jewish Kabbalah cone with Shi'ite Muslim sprinkles."

* Britney goes Hindu. Continues Trend of Celebrities Endorsing Religions.

To keep up, the Catholic Church just signed Beyonce Knowles to a 10 year
sponsorship.

The $500 million dollar deal guarantees product placement. The Crucifix will always appear in her music videos, in her movies, and most importantly... in her cleavage.

Believe me, Beyonce's boobs will make people say JESUS!

* Britney is confusing her baby!
Britney Spears, a Christian in Jewish Kabbalah classes, had her baby blessed at a Hindu temple.

The baby is wondering, "Is mommy Christian? Jewish? Hindu?" There is a lot of confusion about mom. But thankfully there's NO confusion about dad. He's DEFINITELY a douche-bag.
 

* Britney Spears, a Christian in Jewish Kabbalah classes, had her baby blessed at a Hindu temple.

Tom Cruise is thinking:

"Obviously this baby's religion is up for grabs. Hmm.. You could really popularize a religion if you had Britney Spears and her baby hooked on it. I'll just wait until she divorces Kevin to marry her, adopt her kid, and brainwash, er, show them the benefits of Scientology.

Oooh. But I'm already married. Another divorce would make me look bad. I'll have to ask L. Ron Hubbard to write a new chapter of our religion allowing multiple beards, um, I mean wives."

* Britney Spears, a Christian in Jewish Kabbalah classes, had her baby blessed at a Hindu temple.

This child will grow up to be the most creative kid on the planet! Not because his mom is a singer and his dad is a dancer. But because his entire childhood will be spent thinking up excuses to get out of going to Church... and Synagogue... and Hindu Temple...

* Britney Spears also tried one other religion but was denied because they felt her husband Kevin Federline was too annoying... to be a Jehovah's Witness.

* No matter what religion Britney Spears makes her family do... you can bet Kevin Federline will be breaking its laws. Based on his new crappy CD alone, he'll be going to 13 different versions of hell. Plus he'll be reincarnated as a rat turd.

* Britney Spears had her baby blessed at a Hindu temple where Britney wore the traditional red dot of marriage on her forehead. That's ironic. Because the world wants the red dot of a rifle's laser scope on her husbandís forehead.

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HOGWILD.NET  semi-hilarious comedy: Britney Spears News, Jokes

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