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HOGWILD.NET is your source for all-exclusive, semi-hilarious HogWild Comedy! Get Funny MySpace Pictures, Comedy Video, Funny Rants, Dirty Jokes, Dating Advice Man, and Twisted Humor!

The Twisted Humor of HogWild has EXCLUSIVE Comedy Video, Funny MySpace Pictures, and Dating Advice Man. Forget that generic, bootleg crap that is copied everywhere else. HogWild has all original dirty jokes and kick-ass funny myspace pictures and all-around semi-hilarious twisted humor. I love LASIK eye surgery. It smells great!

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My most popular articles/videos of all-time:
1 - World's Hottest Female Sports Reporters
2 - Hottest Sports Wives
3 - Dating Advice: "Why won't my ex-boyfriend return my things?"
4 - Video: Grand Theft Auto IV (Funny Parody) Grand Theft Lunch
5 - Tales of Torture Game
6 - The Glamour. The Glory. The Babes. My Days on the 6th Grade Math Team.
7 - Megan Fox is so Freakin' Hot to Feel Her Up You'd Need to Wear Oven Mitts
8 - How to Show-Off Your New iPhone in a Totally 100% Dignified Manner
9 - MILF Madness: Heidi Klum vs. Halle Berry
10 - Cartoon: The V@gina Explained to Guys
11 - Beat Your Pinata to the Hottest Mexican Women of Mexico
12 - Hottest German Girls of Germany
13 - My Exclusive Interview with Britney Spears' V@gina

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My 3 Favorite Comedy Videos that I done did...

Dating Advice: "Why won't my ex-boyfriend return my things?"



My Idiot Uncle Tells the Story of Thanksgiving:

Beautiful Creatures:

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*** I UPDATE EVERY DAY! ***
HERE'S WHAT'S NEW TODAY! Aug 28
Cartoon: Is my roommate gay?
I think he might be gay because...

MY LATEST SEMI-HILARIOUS COMEDY
Dating Advice: "Why would a guy flirt and make eye contact with a girl some days and completely ignore her other days?"
THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T WASTE TIME WORRYING ABOUT
- things that are totally out of your control
- other people's business
- what happens to mosquitoes that bite vampires

Serious Dating Advice + Seriously Twisted Humor.

Cartoon: Crappy Gifts
When I was broke, I gave some really crappy gifts like...

Dating Advice: "I'm in a long distance relationship and I'm not sure if it's going to work!"
THINGS THAT MAKE A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP EASIER
- a web cam
- an active social life where you go out with friends
- S.N. (Side Nookie)

Serious Dating Advice + Seriously Twisted Humor.

Cartoon: I invented a New Sex Position
When having sex I always want the girl to be satisfied so...

Michael Phelps vs. Aquaman vs. Mo'Nique
Michael Phelps should wear all of his Olympic Gold Medals to the club. Any ol’ drug dealer can buy gold jewelry. But you can’t buy OLYMPIC gold!

NOTE: At least not until Phelps turns 40 and sells his medals after realizing that there is no money to be made in swimming around a pool all day.

Dating Advice: "How do you approach girls?"
Do it soap opera super intense style and with a Spanish accent.

YOU: I must have you.
GIRL: Who the hell are you?
YOU: I am Car-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-los. And I must have you.
GIRL: Um, do I know you?
YOU: You do not know me but you will never forget me. Now I will lift you in my arms and throw you in my convertible sports car.
GIRL: OK!

Serious Dating Advice + Seriously Twisted Humor.

Cartoon: Summer Camp snack time
The good kids got different snacks from the bad kids. Do you know what the bad kids got?

Dating Advice: "My man asked me if I'd like to see him in lingerie."
In my professional opinion, I'd have to say, HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Cartoon: "You know what I hate?... Ladybugs. Because..."
Yes! I have a darn good reason for hating ladybugs! :)

Dating Advice: "This guy I'm seeing told me he loves me but I don't feel the same way. Should I ignore it? How do I handle this?"
Just ignore it and it will go away. That's always the best thing to do when a guy says he loves you. Just quickly change the subject.

GUY: This isn't easy for me to say but I've had these feelings building up inside and...
YOU: I really like chocolate milk. What a great idea to put those two things together! Whoever thought of this is a genius!
No. You need to...

Funny Pics: Olympics go HogWild!
New Olympic sport: Karate Soccer! + President Bush slaps dat booty!

Cartoon: My immature sex fantasy.
This girl called me immature just because...

Dating Advice: "Does this guy (who has a girlfriend) like me or is he just being a jerk?"
Um, neither. The dude has a girlfriend. You've put him in a trap.

It's like one of those game shows... His girlfriend is a box full of $1 million dollars and you are a box with a big question mark on it. Hmm.... should he risk it all for a new box?

NOTE: This is a question men have asked themselves throughout time.

Serious Dating Advice + Seriously Twisted Humor.

Cartoon: The girl who didn't shave down in the, uh, Passion Area
I was with this girl from Japan and...

Dating Advice: "My man put a padlock around his testicles. Is this a good way for a guy to show he's faithful?"
Relationships are based on trust and being 90% honest.

NOTE: I say 90% honest, because 10% of the time you should keep your damn mouth shut so you don't make your partner feel bad.

EXAMPLE:
GUY: Do you like my wiener?
GIRL: Not really. It looks like a retired earthworm.
This doesn't help anyone. Instead:
GUY: Do you like my wiener?
GIRL: Yes. I love tadpoles!

Cartoon: "I had a girlfriend who caught me m@sturbating. Again."
So I told her the truth...

Dating Advice: "How do I hide a hickey?"
Don't. Just have it out in the open. A hickey is like saying to the world, "I'm not bad-ass enough to get a neck tattoo, but I do have the required lack of class."

NOTE TO BAD-ASSES WITH NECK TATTOOS: Please don't hurt me.

Cartoon: Girls want a "Good Listener." Guys want...
You think you know what guys want?

Brett Favre Trades in Packers Green & Gold for Jets Green & Pitiful

I can't talk for Packers fans, but as a Jets fan I know how this Brett Favre trade affects us. It gives us hope. Evil tortuous hope. Just when we were ready to have a relaxed season of low expectations, now us New Yorkers have to get our hopes up only to have them inevitably squashed like a huge roach is squashed in our apartment by the stampede of rats.

Dating Advice: "What are your rules for dating?"
(VIDEO / TEXT) After boinking for the first time, guys you MUST call her later the same day. If you don't, the girl will think you just wanted sex. (So if you did just want sex, then don't call her until later.) At the very least, send her a text message.

GOOD AFTER-BOINKING TEXT MESSAGE VS. BAD TEXT MESSAGE

Good: Have a great day, sweetheart.
Bad: Thank you, come again. Heh, heh.

Good: I had great time with you. :)
Bad: I had a great time with your v@gina.

Serious Dating Advice + Seriously Twisted Humor.

Cartoon: "I used to date a girl who carried MACE in her bag. Now I've SEEN her bag..."
Do you know a girl like this? :)

Dating Advice: "How can I get older girls to date me?"
If you want an older woman, you should go back to your old high school and find your former art teacher who's still single and lookin' good.

DISADVANTAGE OF DATING ONE OF YOUR FORMER TEACHERS: She still treats you like you're her student: "Today's assignment is to do the dishes, take out the trash, and rub my feet. And if you're really good... on Friday we'll watch a movie."

Cartoon: "Everyone says Americans are stupid. No, I've traveled and I can tell you EVERYONE is stupid because..."
Everyone in the world is united by a common bond... stupidity!

Dating Advice: "I can't get this guy's attention. How can I get him to notice me?"
(VIDEO / TEXT) HOW TO GET A GUY'S ATTENTION
1 - Boobs
2 - Chicken Wings
3 - Chicken Wings in between your boobs.

OK, that's what works on me. :)

Serious Dating Advice + Seriously Twisted Humor.

Funny Pics: Discover the REAL reason these Baseball Players are Fighting!
+ NFL Hall of Famer Darrell Green talks to his statue.

World's Hottest Female Athletes (Pics)
Get in and rank 'em! Justin and I argue over who is the hottest! Discover who is the most over-rated "hot" female athlete. And... the hottest Ping Pong player?

Dating Advice: "I want to date my friend but I don't want to ruin the friendship. How can I find out if she likes me back?"
(VIDEO / TEXT) FRIENDLY SIGNALS vs. ATTRACTION SIGNALS

FRIENDLY SIGNAL: She copies your body language. If you touch your ear, a few seconds later she touches her ear, too.

ATTRACTION SIGNAL: If you touch your wiener, a few seconds later she touches your wiener too.

Serious Dating Advice + Seriously Twisted Humor.

Cartoon: "Growing up my mom gave me ridiculous 'mom advice.' She told me..."
Did YOUR mom tell you to do this? :)

Dating Advice: "Is this guy only after sex, or does he mean what he says?"
(VIDEO / TEXT) IF ANY OF THE FOLLOWING ARE TRUE, THEN HE DOES NOT MEAN WHAT HE SAYS:
- He says one thing, but does another.
- While he's saying nice things to you, he rolls his eyes and mouths the word, "Whatever"
- The only time he says nice things to you is when you are both naked.

Cartoon: Guys are horny, but this girl was EMOTIONALLY horny
I dated a girl who needed me to constantly...

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Twisted Humor. Funny Rants, Dirty Jokes, Funny MySpace Pictures, Comedy Video. The Twisted Humor of HogWild!