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HOGWILD.NET is your source for all-exclusive, semi-hilarious HogWild Comedy! Get Funny MySpace Pictures, Comedy Video, Funny Rants, Dirty Jokes, Dating Advice Man, and Twisted Humor!

The Twisted Humor of HogWild has EXCLUSIVE Comedy Video, Funny MySpace Pictures, and Dating Advice Man. Forget that generic, bootleg crap that is copied everywhere else. HogWild has all original dirty jokes and kick-ass funny myspace pictures and all-around semi-hilarious twisted humor. I love LASIK eye surgery. It smells great!

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My most popular articles/videos of all-time:
1 - World's Hottest Female Sports Reporters
2 - Hottest Sports Wives
3 - Dating Advice: "Why won't my ex-boyfriend return my things?"
4 - Video: Grand Theft Auto IV (Funny Parody) Grand Theft Lunch
5 - Tales of Torture Game
6 - The Glamour. The Glory. The Babes. My Days on the 6th Grade Math Team.
7 - Megan Fox is so Freakin' Hot to Feel Her Up You'd Need to Wear Oven Mitts
8 - How to Show-Off Your New iPhone in a Totally 100% Dignified Manner
9 - MILF Madness: Heidi Klum vs. Halle Berry
10 - Cartoon: The V@gina Explained to Guys
11 - Beat Your Pinata to the Hottest Mexican Women of Mexico
12 - Hottest German Girls of Germany
13 - My Exclusive Interview with Britney Spears' V@gina

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My 3 Favorite Comedy Videos that I done did...

Dating Advice: "Why won't my ex-boyfriend return my things?"



My Idiot Uncle Tells the Story of Thanksgiving:

Beautiful Creatures:

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Hey guys, I posted a new page with hot deals & discounts I've found on the internet. You can check it out: hot deals and discounts.

*** I UPDATE EVERY DAY! ***
HERE'S WHAT'S NEW TODAY! Jan 7
Cartoon: "I HATE waking up early but I HAD to so I..."
This method will wake you up on time. Guaranteed! :)

MY LATEST SEMI-HILARIOUS COMEDY
Cartoon: "Girls go for the Bad Boys. So I'm going to..."
My hardcore plan to become a kinda-bad-boy.

Cindy Jackson: The World's Most Technologically Advanced Woman
Cindy Jackson is the world's most technologically advanced woman. Here are some of the cosmetic surgeries she has had done:

* 4 face-lifts

* 3 eyelid surgeries

* 2 nose jobs

...and a partridge in a pear tree!

She's also had....

* liposuction on her knees, thighs, abdomen, waist.

I think she looks amazing. Think about it, most 99 year olds look like Yoda or a dying winter tree. But Cindy Jackson looks good!

The Glamour. The Glory. The Babes. My days on the 6th Grade Math Team.
We named ourselves The Numerators. Because we always came out on top.

We were the rebels of the Math Department. We chewed gum. We cut our eyes at the competition. We walked into the room as we always did... in slow motion.

Popping our gum. Snarling our lips and giving a head nod to librarian until she blushed. Twirling our mechanical pencils around on our fingers like they were Black Hawk Choppers invading Commie airspace. Behind us, a cloud of dust. Ahead of us... our destiny.

Or so we thought...

How to Prepare for a Date (The HogWild Way :)
For Guys: Start looking and feeling good in advance. The best way to build confidence right before your big date is to have a quick date that goes really well with a much more attractive woman.

But since that won't happen, have your mom give you a pep-talk. And thank her again picking out your clothes.

For Girls...

I pissed off a "Hooters" Waitress
In my now famous rant, Hooters sucks, I explain why the Hooters restaurant here in New York City blows ass.

A Hooters Girl saw my rant and took the time to email me the scattered words in her head that she calls thoughts.

Here is her (cleaned up) email to me... (It was littered with punctuation and spelling errors and rambling "sentences.")

Celebrity Predictions for the New Year!
Jessica Simpson to marry partner of equal intelligence! Brad & Angelina to save the world and ride off into the sunset on their magical Unicorn of Justice!

Funny Pics: New Year's Eve in New York City
And Paris Hilton + Tila Tequila's New Year's!

Play the New Year's Eve Story Maker Game!
Answer the fun quiz questions to create your very own super silly New Year's Eve story!

Funny Pics: New Year's Eve, Britney Spears Style
And Jessica Simpson makes the midnight toast!

Audio: The Shopping Cart Solider Attacks Christmas Shoppers
A residentially-challenged man who thinks he was an American War Hero harasses holiday shoppers for their loose change!

New Year's Resolutions, by Paris Hilton
"Last year I was in the tabloid headlines only 362 days... THIS year I resolve to make it the complete 365 days!

New ideas to keep me in the news in the coming year:

Sing at the Super Bowl Half-time show and "accidentally" deep throat the goal post..."

The Six Sexiest Babes of the Bible!
It's a spiritual time of year, so raise your spirits by looking at pictures of the hottest hooters from heaven... Let's begin with Eve -- the original naughty girl!

God could have created Eve as an ugly beast and Adam would have been satisfied, because he was lonely and horny with no other option. But instead...

Tips for Not Humiliating Yourself at the Office Holiday Party
Yay! It's the holiday season! This means it's time for the annual office holiday party! Simply follow these easy tips for not humiliating yourself and you'll be able to return to the office with your head held high... only to find out that everyone's jobs were outsourced to India.

Funny Pics: Christmas around the World
In New York City, USA... in Seoul, South Korea... and in Paris, Hilton.

Test Your Holiday Smarts with the HogWild Christmas Quiz!
How did the tradition of Santa Claus begin?

A – The tradition of Santa Claus began in Germany… where all lies originate
B – It began when creepy old white guys in the Catholic Church needed an excuse to have young boys sit on their laps
C – It began when the parents of Joey Prikasky ran out of ideas to get him to behave, so they resorted to bribing him with gifts at a later date.
D – It began in the Middle Ages in a basement full of college students and hallucinogenic plants.

Funny Pics: Hanukah in Hollywood!
Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and Paula Abdul all take a spin on the dreidel!

Dating Advice: How to keep your boyfriend loyal
Will your man cheat on you with a hot client while he's away on the business trip? Or with the hot girl who works in aisle 12 of the supermarket? Or with the lady who announces how many voice mails you have on your phone?

NOTE: She's hot!

Game: Play the Happy Happy Hanukah Story Maker Game!
Answer the fun quiz questions to make your silly Hanukah story! Oy!

Cartoon: "I was with a girl who had an ass like a brick wall."
She had no ass AT ALL!

Dating Advice Video: "The guy I'm crazy about told me he loved me but I didn't say it back. Now he's pulled away and I want him back!"
When a guy opens his heart to you and says, "I love you" here is what NOT to say back...

- "So... nice weather we're having!"

- "You love me? Cool."

- "Would you please repeat that? I didn't hear you because I was lost in a daydream about making love to a Firefighter on a beach in Mexico under the moonlight and his muscles were glistening from ocean water and then just as he was about to lift me to the most amazing heights of pleasure, you said something?"

Serious Dating Advice + Seriously Twisted Humor.

Funny Pics: Santa is a Pot Head!
Also... Oprah's Christmas gift and when Santa was a college student...

Cartoon: "My parents once got me a REALLY UGLY SWEATER as a holiday gift so I..."
Maybe you can use my idea... :)

Dating Advice Video: "I'm worried that I might be a really bad kisser. How should I kiss a guy?"
HOW TO KNOW IF YOU SUCK AT KISSING
- after the kiss, the guy looks at you sideways with a look that combines confusion and fright. And he's holding his fists in front of his face for protection!
- the guy keeps his eyes open so he can keep watching television
- at any point during the kiss, you discover that your tongue is up his left nostril

I'm going to tell you how to be an AWESOME kisser!...

Video: My Interview with Santa Claus! (He was drunk)
Santa, do all the reindeer really have their own names? - Jack, age 7

Santa: Of course! They're all different! Every reindeer has his own special personality and you can really taste the difference in the steaks!

Cartoon: Boys vs. Girls! (My teacher days)
When I was a teacher, the kids would have the stupidest arguments. Who do you think won this round? :)

Dating Advice Video: "My guy friend likes me but hasn't made a move. How can I get him to ask me out?"
You have to make it VERY CLEAR that you are interested in him as more than just a friend.

Because most guys do not get little hints. For instance:

YOU: I think you have a beautiful smile.

HIM: Uh, thanks. Why? Is something stuck in my teeth? Dammit! I knew I shouldn't have put little pieces of bacon in my ice cream!

Serious Dating Advice + Seriously Twisted Humor.

Cartoon: How to not get ripped off by the airlines! (The HogWild Way :)
The airline wanted to charge me EXTRA for my second carry-on! Hell no!

Dating Advice: "How do I tell someone I am not interested?"
HIM: I'd love to take you out sometime. What do you say?

YOU: I would LOVE to go out with you... once every other male human is DEAD and every cucumber is rotten and all my fingers are broken! HA HA! OWNED, b!tch! Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-jected! You're like the devil with no bullets -- because you've got NO SHOT in HELL! HA HA!

Serious Dating Advice + Seriously Twisted Humor.

Cartoon: "I love my dad but I don't understand something about him..."
Dad fashion. :)

Dating Advice Video: "The guy I've liked for two years is trying to make me jealous by flaunting his girlfriend in my face."
You are delusional. You and he are friends. Has he ever asked you out on a date? Has he ever tried to kiss you? Has he ever done something romantic for you like... thrust his tongue between his two fingers in the shape of the letter V?

Serious Dating Advice + Seriously Twisted Humor.

Funny Pics: Christmas!
Santa's new hairstyle... and what's wrong with Rudolph?

Cartoon: Daughters with Stripper Names
When you have a daughter you have to be careful what you...

Dating Advice Video: "The girl I'm seeing keeps giving me excuses why she can't get together."
HER PRIORITIES RIGHT NOW
- her family
- her friends
- her pets
- her laundry
- her breath mints
- her loose change
(tie) - you... and her collection of hair scrunchees.

So this means if she can't find one of her hair scrunchees or if she is taste-testing new breath mints at the National Breath Mint Tasting Convention... Then you're like a leprechaun that pooped his little green pants after getting run over by bus --- sh!t out of luck.

Serious Dating Advice + Seriously Twisted Humor.

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Twisted Humor. Funny Rants, Dirty Jokes, Funny MySpace Pictures, Comedy Video. The Twisted Humor of HogWild!