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HOGWILD.NET is your source for all-exclusive, semi-hilarious HogWild Comedy! Get Funny MySpace Pictures, Comedy Video, Funny Rants, Dirty Jokes, Dating Advice Man, and Twisted Humor!

The Twisted Humor of HogWild has EXCLUSIVE Comedy Video, Funny MySpace Pictures, and Dating Advice Man. Forget that generic, bootleg crap that is copied everywhere else. HogWild has all original dirty jokes and kick-ass funny myspace pictures and all-around semi-hilarious twisted humor. I love LASIK eye surgery. It smells great!

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My most popular articles/videos of all-time:
1 - World's Hottest Female Sports Reporters
2 - Hottest Sports Wives
3 - Dating Advice: "Why won't my ex-boyfriend return my things?"
4 - Video: Grand Theft Auto IV (Funny Parody) Grand Theft Lunch
5 - Tales of Torture Game
6 - The Glamour. The Glory. The Babes. My Days on the 6th Grade Math Team.
7 - Megan Fox is so Freakin' Hot to Feel Her Up You'd Need to Wear Oven Mitts
8 - How to Show-Off Your New iPhone in a Totally 100% Dignified Manner
9 - MILF Madness: Heidi Klum vs. Halle Berry
10 - Cartoon: The V@gina Explained to Guys
11 - Beat Your Pinata to the Hottest Mexican Women of Mexico
12 - Hottest German Girls of Germany
13 - My Exclusive Interview with Britney Spears' V@gina

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My 3 Favorite Comedy Videos that I done did...

Dating Advice: "Why won't my ex-boyfriend return my things?"



My Idiot Uncle Tells the Story of Thanksgiving:

Beautiful Creatures:

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*** I UPDATE EVERY DAY! ***
HERE'S WHAT'S NEW TODAY! Oct 13
Dating Advice: "Can I trust dating advice from friends?"
The WORST thing you can ever do when asking for relationship advice is to ask your ugly single friends. That's like asking a homeless guy how to get into Harvard.

HOMELESS GUY: How you get into Harvard? Well, first you hitchhike there. Then you knock on the door! Duh! You people who live indoors sure are stupid!

Serious Dating Advice + Seriously Twisted Humor.

MY LATEST SEMI-HILARIOUS COMEDY
Cartoon: Girls don't only care about the SIZE, they ALSO....
This girl told me that I...

Comedy Video: The Hulk Vs. The Thing (A Love Story)
A MARVELous meeting of two titans!

Dating Advice: "My boyfriend's female friend is trying to steal him away from me!"
(VIDEO + TEXT) THINGS THAT MAKE GIRLS UNHAPPY
- other girls trying to steal their man
- not having Chapstick
- not being able to shop because they're out of money

NOTE TO GUYS: This list is in reverse order of importance. Sorry guys, you are NOT more important than her Chapstick. You are just a nice chap with a stick.

Serious Dating Advice + Seriously Twisted Humor.

Cartoon: Girls, Find out How Guys Really Rate You!
You'll be surprised but it's true!

Dating Advice: "Is it OK to say No when my girlfriend asks for Sex?"
(VIDEO + TEXT) I recommend that ALL guys turn down their girlfriends in bed on occasion. Why? Because it makes them want it more.

People want what they can't have. And people don't appreciate what's always there. So take it away. This requires super discipline. OK, fine... it involves feverish masturbation.

Serious Dating Advice + Seriously Twisted Humor.

Cartoon: "You know why guys lie? Because..."
You girls lie first! You...

Dating Advice: "This guy rejected me so I moved on. But when I saw him again, I realize I still like him. What should I do?"
First of all, don't ever ask a guy out. Get him to ASK YOU out. Guys will ask you out if they are attracted to you AND they think you will say yes.

Because guys are scared of getting rejected.

THINGS GUYS ARE SCARED OF
- getting rejected
- losing our testicles in a testicle-grinder
- being attacked by bears... homosexual bears

Cartoon: "What would be your Superpower?"
I went on a date with this girl and she asks me this stupid question...

Baseball Playoff Predictions: Jimmy Rollins will Trash Talk to the Big Jug of Gatorade
The Phillies will get smashed in the next round, leaving Jimmy Rollins to trash-talk to no one but the big jug of Gatorade.

JIMMY ROLLINS: Gatorade, you suck! We’re going to crush you! I’m gonna take you deep!
BIG JUG OF GATORADE: ______
JIMMY ROLLINS: Yeah, that’s right! You’d BETTER not say anything!
BIG JUG OF GATORADE: ______
JIMMY ROLLINS: Oh, so you’re ignoring me?! C’mon Big Jug of Gatorade! Give me your best shot! C’mon! That’s it! I’m gonna chug you all down! <GURGLE GURGLE GURGLE! CHOKE! GAG!>

JIMMY ROLLINS: All right, Big Jug of Gatorade! You may have got me THIS time, but just wait 'til next year!

Dating Advice: "What is the best way to accelerate from casual dating to a relationship?"
(VIDEO + TEXT) BE pleasure. Everyone's got problems. Make her feel amazing when she's around you. Make her forget all her problems.

You know you're doing it right if she says something like, "You know, I've been having so much fun with you tonight that I totally forgot about my brain surgery tomorrow morning."

Serious Dating Advice + Seriously Twisted Humor.

Cartoon: "I'm afraid I'll be a bad dad because..."
I'll have a daughter and...

Dating Advice: "Where can I find a hot guy who is sensitive and won't cheat with another girl?"
You can find this kind of guy modeling underwear, or serving cocktails to older men in San Francisco, or acting in romance films with titles such as: Ass Pirates of the Caribbean, Splatatouille, Trannyformers, The Butt Ultimatum, and Hung Fu Panda.

Hey, you didn't say he had to be straight! :)

Serious Dating Advice + Seriously Twisted Humor.

Cartoon: "Growing up, my dad once caught me masturbating..."
No words were said. Just this face...

Dating Advice: "Things were going great until I told the guy 'my number.'"
(VIDEO + TEXT) Girls, do NOT reveal your number! Even if he asks!

DUDE: So... how many wieners have you swallowed in your, uh, pen!s fly trap?
YOU: A lady never discusses such things.
DUDE: True, true. So... how many?
YOU: I'm not very experienced*, if that's what you're asking.

* Experience is all relative. Not very experienced compared to who? A basketball groupie? A p*rn star?

Just say you're not that experienced, even if you've seen more wieners then a Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest.

Even if...

Cartoon: "I Love Sex First-Thing in the Morning! Because..."
What's my favorite part?

The Empire Strikes Out: NY may be Shut Out of Playoffs
New Yorkers get excited about very few things. One of those things is baseball. For New Yorkers, UNEXCITING: Some crazy dude is break-dancing half-naked while juggling lit firecrackers and singing “New York, New York” on the subway platform. EXCITING: The subway actually arrives on time.

U.S. Financial Crisis! The HogWild Plan for How the Gov't can Save Money + Raise More!
New source of tax revenue! The Government should finally give-in and legalize marijuana so it can profitably tax the sale of this popular and mostly harmless drug. Pfizer will be purchase the rights to sell it exclusively and market it as the anti-anxiety pharmaceutical ---- Splifficor. Or call it, hmm, how about... Xanadoobie.

In a related move, potato chips, pizza and cookies will be taxed higher after 10 pm.

Cartoon: "When I was a teacher I got in trouble because..."
It wasn't my fault! :)

Dating Advice: "I want to date this girl in my office. How do I get her more attracted to me?"
(VIDEO + TEXT) Here is what you need to do:

At the next big office meeting when everybody is together, stand up and proclaim, "I'm quitting! Because I love THIS girl!" while pointing at her. Then drop to one knee and say to her, "Since we no longer work together, will you marry me?"

She will be so touched that her eyes will turn red and weepy. And she won't even care that you proposed with a box of paperclips instead of a ring.

Then she'll throw her arms around you and begin choking the...

Cartoon: "I had a girlfriend who was so jealous she even got jealous of the..."
Girls, no matter how jealous you get, this girl was 10,002 times more jealous!

Dating Advice: "How do I get the guy I like to be more attracted to me so he asks me out?"
(VIDEO + TEXT) A guy wants to feel like he has a highly desirable girl and that she only likes him. Basically you are stroking his ego until he gets an Ego-Boner. Now the big secret is...

Cartoon: "I was with a girl who didn't like to have sex while..."
Is this wrong? I don't think so! :)

Tom Brady Out for Season: Here's what he should do to Pass the Time
OK, so Tom Brady can have any of today’s hottest chicks. Big deal. To make it more of a challenge, we should send him on a Scavenger Hunt of Hot Chicks of Yesteryear...

Dating Advice: "My man is too needy! What should I do?"
Give it back to him! Jump into air, spread your arms wide, fly through the air and land on his face. Let your entire body weight flop on him.

HIM: Can't. Breathe. You're smothering me to death!
YOU: No, I'm LOVING you!!!

Serious Dating Advice + Seriously Twisted Humor.

Cartoon: Did you have a teacher who did this?
Only a teacher could get away with this.

Dating Advice: "I want to date my friend but I'm not sure if he feels the same."
He might be hesitating because he's afraid it would ruin your friendship.

Except you don't want a friendship. You want a fruckship. That's a friendship plus, ya know, frucking. :)

Serious Dating Advice + Seriously Twisted Humor.

Cartoon: "You know who's gay?"
You'll never guess! :)

Dating Advice: "Things were going great but then he stopped calling me."
(VIDEO + TEXT) POSSIBLE REASONS HE STOPPED CALLING...

- He had a girlfriend at the time and now he doesn't.
- Before making a decision to call you, he had to get the approval of the United States Congress
- He was abducted by little grey creatures who enjoyed probing his ass. You know, homosexual senior citizens.

The point is...

Serious Dating Advice + Seriously Twisted Humor.

Dating Advice: "What are the signs you should break off a relationship?"
(VIDEO + TEXT) You may discover that your boyfriend has the disgusting habit of looking at p*rn... while picking his nose. And you find it totally rude that he does this at the dinner table.

+ Find out how to put the excitement back in your relationship!

Serious Dating Advice + Seriously Twisted Humor.

Cartoon: "I had a girlfriend who complained, 'You always %^$# me, you never make LOVE to me...'"
So the next time we had sex...

Dating Advice: "My boyfriend is torn between me and his kids who hate me."
HOW TO GET IN THE GOOD WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND'S CHILDREN
- Communication is key.
Explain to them like this, "I'm not here to replace your mommy. No one could ever do that. She's a beautiful woman who loves you very much. And she's a wicked slut.

"That's why your daddy dumped her ass and chose me instead. So remember, I'm not trying to replace your mommy. Just think of me as the nice lady who is tongue-kissing your daddy's romance-rod. Oh, I see you're turning green. Not to worry! I brought barf bags! Because I care."

Serious Dating Advice + Seriously Twisted Humor.

Cartoon: "You know what the WORST picture of you is?"
It's when you're right on top of the...

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Twisted Humor. Funny Rants, Dirty Jokes, Funny MySpace Pictures, Comedy Video. The Twisted Humor of HogWild!