HOGWILD.NET  semi-hilarious comedy: funny jokes and pictures

stupid ass toys we're gonna see next, now that the big mouth billy bass toy is a huge success


Dating Advice! Expert dating advice videos, your dating advice questions answered by HogWild!
Professional Dating Advice videos that will help you get the awesome relationship you deserve!
Expert Dating Advice Videos by me -- HogWild -- professional dating advice: helpful and hilarious.

Stupid Ass Toys for Adults that we're gonna see next 

Inspired by drunken fishermen who swore their catch was singing for their freedom

Can you believe this dumb "amusement for adults" is now the nation's hottest selling toy?! You stick it above your desk and when someone walks past, it looks at them and sings "Take me to the River." IDIOCY!  Being that adults are so easily entertained, HOGWILD.NET hits you up wit some more stupid ass toys targeted for adults.

The Wolf Whistling Tie. It looks like an ordinary dress tie, but when someone walks past it, it stiffens out and lets loose a lecherous whistle sure to get HR busy filing Sexual Harassment reports!

now that is gay!Gaydar. "Gay Radar" as it is known, is the supposed ability to detect a man's sexual preference just by looking at him. Now impress your friends with this electronic device that you can hold in the palm of your limp-wristed hand! Simply point Gaydar at anybody, and the arrow on the meter will point to either "Straight" or "Twinkletoes." (For bisexuals, it swings both ways.) Get Gaydar Deluxe and when it finds a homosexual, it also plays a Barbra Streisand tune! Not to be used for actual discrimination. For amusement purposes only. 

The e-Nag Pro. Women, are you still nagging your husbands the old fashioned way? C'mon girlfriend, it's time to enter the 21 Century! With e-Nag you can program up to 15 different chores and errands that will be sent to your irresponsible mate via e-mail, fax, and pager. He will never be out of your screaming distance again! When he's in the car you can even over-ride all his radio presets and broadcast your EPR's (Electronic Persistent Reminders) over 666 AM! Got a last minute job that needs to get done but his radio is OFF? What's a girl to do? Just flip on your e-Nag Pro and type in a quick message and using TCP/IP (Total Control Phreak/Insane Pestering) technology, your urgent request for feminine napkins will be displayed on electronic billboards all around town!

The Document Crocodile. Once reserved for members of Congress and Big Tobacco Executives, now everyone can have this fun Personal Paper Shredder that looks like a real reptile. Bills and junk mail get devoured in its crocodile sharp teeth. Or, have fun destroying your child's self-confidence by shredding her kindergarten crayon drawing while calling it, "Crappy and carelessly colored!"

Get revenge on the bastards!The Anti-Telemarketing Noise Box. When you get stuck talking to telemarketers, you can activate the Noise Box and it plays 10 different pre-recorded messages right into your phone! Some of the phrases it shouts at the telemarketer are: "You listen to ME, jerky!," "What part of NO, did you not understand, monkey-breath!," and "I'd rather accept an unknown package marked "BOMB," than accept your offer, Grandmaster F&%$-face!" 

Trick Post-It Notes. Playing off the theme of Trick Birthday Candles that don't blow out, these Trick Post-It notes are great for intra-office gags! Each little piece of yellow paper uses a cement-like adhesive instead of ordinary glue. This will cause an uproarious riot when your co-worker tries to peel the notes off his computer monitor. Warning: Not funny when applied to face.

The Mushroom Cloud Lamp. This spin-off of the classic Lava Lamp is a definite conversation starter. "Nuclear disaster" humor is always a welcomed crowd-pleaser. Sit this on your desk while you work and watch the calming bubbling explosions and illuminated atomic fall-out.
Watch my helpful and hilarious Expert Dating Advice videos!
FREE! Get inside the HogWild PigPen! Video, Audio, Special Newsletter, Polls!
Powered by groups.yahoo.com
Check out more RANTS
HOGWILD.NET  semi-hilarious comedy every day   TELL A FRIEND!