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Expert Dating Advice Videos by me -- HogWild -- professional dating advice: helpful and hilarious.

Web Site Name Game 

by  HogWild

 

Iíve discovered the BEST new game! I came up with it one day while ďRESEARCHINGĒ on the Net. I was like totally bored with the endless mundane montage of mountainous melons and I decided to try my luck. So I started typing in names for websites to see if they existed.

Seeing that I was smiling, it wasnít long until Jeremy the Bloated Jew wanted to reverse my countenance. But I would not let him bring me down! In fact, I let him in on the game of Random URLs. Hereís how you play:

Player 1 makes up a website like, nipplesonfire.com  Player 2 then has to say whether it exists or not. Player 2 places his wager (between 10 and 200) based on how confident he is. First player to reach 1000 wins! Or you could like play with REAL units, but Iím too thrifty for all that. So Jeremy and I played this game for alternative stakes. If I won, he had to sing ďRubber DuckyĒ while splashing water in his San Francisco Bay sized bellybutton. That ALWAYS cracks me up! If HE won, I had to stop calling him ďbloated JewĒ for 3 months and instead call him, Jeremy the Studly Jew. So, you see this was SERIOUS. No way, Iím gonna LIE to my Hogstas! I had to WIN this battle!

Here is how it went down. Now the results were accurate when we played, but I canít say these URLís arenít actual sites NOW. Youíll just have to find out fer yerselves.

I got to go first because Iím HogWild and heís bloated bag of lard. He began with

AMAZINGLYLARGEBREASTS.COM

Hog: Hmm, thatís a tough one Jeremy. Lots of ďresearchĒ sites out there. But is this a reasonable name for a site. Hmm. If it DOES exist, it certainly is a site Iíd have to ďmonitorĒ for my Community Service, ďPervert Patrol Program.Ē Ya know, I have to find these DISGUSTING sites first, and then make good, clean people aware to NOT visit them. And of course, all the time gathering (downloading) evidence. But anyway, Iíll bet 200 that it DOES exist.

Survey Says . . .   NO!!!!

Hog: Damn it Jeremy!

SCORE: Hog  -200  Jeremy 0

Hog: Okay Jeremy. My website is

VAGINAWARS.COM

Jeremy: Well, Iíve never gone to BATTLE with a vagina, I say . . .

Hog: Yeah, thatís because you keep waving your little white flag!

Jeremy: Anyway, Iíll bet 100 and say, it DOES exist. Probably a comedy site. One with REAL jokes, not like HOGWILD.NET

Hog: Well youíre WRONG! VAGINAWARS.COM does NOT exist!

Jeremy: And neither do funny jokes on your site.

Hog: Shut up. Youíre supposed to be supportive. Youíre my webmasturbator for Mosesí sake!

SCORE: Hog  -200   Jeremy   -100

 

Hog: Okay my turn

Jeremy: What do you think of

MONKEYPOOP.COM

Hog: Oh, thatís gotta exist! Iíll bet 200 that it does!

Jeremy: It does.

Hog: YES! MONKEYPOOP on YOU! Iím back at Zero baby!

Jeremy: yeah, youíre a zero alright.

SCORE Hog: 0   Jeremy Ė100

Hog: Okay Bagel Boy, letís stay with the monkey theme. I say,

JIZMONKEY.COM 

Jeremy: I bet thereís some sick people out there who actually made a site out of that. Iíll bet 200 that it DOES exist.

Hog: Well . . . it DOESNíT!! JIZMONKEY.COM!! Ha! Who would want to make a site about your mom anyway!

SCORE: Hog 0  Jeremy Ė300

Jeremy: Ok Hog. Now Ill get ya.

CRACKADDICTS.COM

Hog: Ooooh good one. Yeah, okay, CRACK ADDICTS have assembled to create entrepreneurial synergy. And they hired a web site developer by paying him with all that extra cash they have laying around. Címon now. I bet 200 and say NO!

Jeremy: youíre right.

Hog: YES!

SCORE: Hog 200   Jeremy Ė300

Hog: Okay Jeremy the Bloated Bull Frog, letís go with

HOMELESSANDCRUSTY.COM

Jeremy: Is that the best you could do? I bet 200 and say no.

Hog: Damn it!

SCORE: Hog 200 Jeremy  -100

Jeremy: 

FARTJELLY.COM

Hog: Good Grief Charlie Bloated Brown! What the hell is Fart Jelly? Is that like, gelatinous caramel that drips from your bottom after a nasty taco squirt?  Eeeeeew! I bet 200 and say no.

Jeremy: you got it.

Hog: No, YOU got it. I donít want no FART jelly!

SCORE: Hog 400 Jeremy -100

Hog: All righty Jeremiah. Think about this one carefully. Because ya NEVER know.

 www.CROOKEDPENIS.com

Jeremy: my oh my. There ARE a lot of adult sites out there. Iíd have to say . . . well, so far only 1 site has actually been real. And crookedpenis DOES sound kinda ridiculous.

Hog: Did you say crooked penis sounded re-DICK-u-lus? I donít think itís polite to make fun of those with bent boppers.

Jeremy: Iíll bet just 50 and say it DOESNíT exist.

Hog: WRONG-O!! It redirects you to a site for plastic surgery! Ha!

SCORE: Hog 400 Jeremy Ė150

Jeremy: ok, how about

IFOUNDCORN.COM

Hog: no. no way. 200 that it does not exist.

Jeremy: man, you must spend 24 hours a day on the net!

Hog: you Daaaaaaamn right!

SCORE Hog 600  Jeremy  -150

Hog: Okay J.

LOOSESTOOL.COM

Jeremy: Thatís about as gross as ifoundcorn.com But I bet thereís some drug company that has it or something. Some diarrhea drug. Iíll bet 200 and say yes.

Hog: Damn you and your loose stools! Youíre right.

SCORE: Hog  600  Jeremy  50

Hi there. I'm Livin' la Vida Homo.Jeremy: Howís about 

RICKYMARTINISQUEER.COM

Hog: Actually, thatís the domain name I was going to register for my site. Nah man, there ainít no such site. I bet 200 on no.

Jeremy: you got it

SCORE: Hog 800  Jeremy 50

Hog: You are getting crushed! I canít wait to hear the Ducky Song! Okaybe, Jeremy. Is this a domain name:

GAYFARMERS.COM

Jeremy: ooh tough one. Sounds like it should be one.

Hog: Are you visualizing shirtless muscle men in denim overalls?

Jeremy: Oh God no! Itís not a site. I bet 200.

Hog: Dagnammit!

SCORE: Hog 800  Jeremy 250

Hog: Okay Jeremy. I can win on this one. One more and Iíll be watching you sing Rubber Ducky while you're plunging your thumb into your flooded bellybutton. Total Humiliation will be mine! Ha ha ha! HAHA!

Jeremy: Not so fast, Skeletor. I WAS gonna give you

ROSIEODDONNELLISABIGFATBITCH.COM

But instead Iíll give you a toughie. It sounds gross, but you know those adult sites . . .

FLAPPINGLABIA.COM

Hog: I gotta bet 200 for the win. But let me think here. Okay, while Labia is one of my favorite words, what are the chances some 15 year old porn web site manager in Germany who runs a site like that has even heard of that word? Much less to be so clever as to add the totally nizASTY action of ďflapping.Ē Iíll say no.

Jeremy: Rubber Ducky, youíre the one . . . you make bath time so much fun . . .

Hog: HA! Yes! Take off the shirt Big Gutski man! On second thought, leave it on! Leave it on! Good God! Did you inhale a cotton candy machine?

FINAL SCORE: Hog 1000  Jeremy 250

Winner: HogWild

Now play at home with your friends!

 

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