How to Improve your Relationship: Ratio of Compliments to Complaints

by me, HogWild

If you want to improve your relationship, there is an old adage that states you should give your partner 5 compliments to every 1 complaint.

The following "compliments" do NOT count:

* You look like LESS of a slob than usual today!

or

* Wow. You finally did that chore you were supposed to do last month. You're amazing! Cue the National Anthem because I'm presenting you with the Gold Medal in the 300 Meter Dash to Take out the Trash! It's OK that you started the race 30 days after everyone else. I don't mind that our home is now a haven for flies and raccoons and flies the size of raccoons!!!

or

* Have you gained weight? No, it's good. It makes your face look less birdlike, and more... like a potato... with a beak.

When you love someone, it hurts to hear a complaint. But... sometimes complaints are necessary to express feelings and keep everyone happy.

So the answer is to truly appreciate and cherish your partner ALL the time. That way, a complaint here and there is the EXCEPTION to the rule!

If all you hear are complaints about you from a person, you'll feel like, "Hey, WTF? Am I bad person or something? I need to defend myself! You're like a clingy monkey wearing a book bag... you need to get off my back! Yeah! Um, yeah!

But what if a person was always giving you compliments and telling you how wonderful you are?

Then one day, they mention how you have this little habit that makes them unhappy. Well, oh, I didn't realize. I can change that. After all, this person adores me and I don't want THAT to stop! OK, from now on, when I feel a burp coming on, I will do my best... not to direct it at their face and blow. No matter how amusing it is to me. And I'll definitely stop doing it when I eat garlic bread and then point at them and shout, "Vampire!"

So let's get into the details of how to give meaningful compliments to make your husband or wife feel loved...

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