How to Avoid the Friend Zone

by me, HogWild

J in Chicago writes...

Hey Hog,

You've always given me good dating advice and I really appreciate it.

Lately, I'm really down on myself because I'm not getting the result I want which is having a trusting relationship with the girl of my choice.

I'm 29 years old, I'm an accountant and I have a decent job yet for some reason that I cannot quite put my finger on, I keep messing things up with women that initially show some interest in me and they put me in the friend zone.

I don't know what it is, am I picking the wrong women? Do I not have enough love for myself and lead myself into failures?

Like you say, I have identified a pattern: the girl is initially attracted to me and friendly and then I do something and weird her out thereby losing the opportunity to further attract her to me. IT'S ALWAYS THE SAME THING. I really want to end this painful cycle.

I have this friend and I think she's physically attractive. She has shown interest in the past and lately she has been not very responsive. I see her often because we're in the same congregation and apartment complex.

I want a relationship with her so after some small talk while texting, I told her, "You know I have to tell you that I think youre a special person and I like your friendship a lot. But I would like you to be my girlfriend someday. And it's ok, I don't by any means think that you feel the same way but that's what I think. Either way one thing is for sure you count on me to be your friend."

She never texted back anything. My plan with this text was to just put it out there and continue to show her interest and attention while being manly, being there for her and then bring it up again and try to take it to the next level.

I couldn't sleep all night just thinking and wondering if will ever find a girl to share my life with.

- J in Chicago

You won't. But you won't live alone. You'll have all your cats!

Cats in hats! Kitties in mitties! Your home will be a shrine to the feline! Who needs human companionship when you’ve got cats!

Unlike an annoying HUMAN, a cat doesn't complain when dinner is from a can. And a cat doesn't get mad when you cuddle other cats. And a cat never fakes her meow!

First of all, I KNOW you can be successful with human women and get that one special girl for a relationship. How do I know this? Because you are articulate, intelligent, introspective and you have a good sense of humor!

That said, you really need to make some adjustments. Little tweaks can go a long way.

#1 Stop being friends first. Get a girl interested first.

If you come at a girl trying to be all friendly, then she will become your friend. Come at her like a man who is assessing her worthiness. Come at her like you are already good with your personal situation.

Most people don't want to jump on a sinking ship! They want to join the party cruise! So are you a yacht, a speed boat, or a sad little row boat with just one oar and you're paddling in circles looking all confused? No! Invite a pretty girl aboard your big sexy ship! Just make sure you wear life jackets!

HER: It's sure is nice on your ship. Wowee, you have a lot of cats.

YOU: Yes, and they're wearing miniature scuba gear. They like the fresh fish.

HER: I love a man who takes care of animals and has his own boat.

YOU: I also own other things. Like socks and lamps. Lamps, baby.

HER: OMG. That's hot.

Show her that you are already confident and independent. Now if she’s worthy, you will let her onto your life’s ride. Talk with her like you’re trying to figure out if she’s cool.

The opposite would be trying hard to find things in common, trying hard to impress her, liking her the second she shows interest in you, and accepting her as girlfriend material before you really know anything about her.

Let her prove herself to you. Just don't take it too far!

YOU: OK, so if you want to be my girlfriend, you have 3 minutes to solve that riddle. While jumping topless on this trampoline and successfully inserting contact lenses.

And what have you DONE to show your awesomeness to her?

"Being there" is not enough! Yes, it's nice to get an attendance award but you want to raise her vaginal humidity for you! haha Yes, girls are sexual! They are romantic! They want a man who excites them AND can be a good friend. If you don't excite her, then you're just a friend.

If you're just there and have some stuff in common, you're just that little green garnish on the side of the dinner plate. Sure, you're nice but she can enjoy the meal without you! Where's your spice! Show her your meat and potatoes! haha

With your ACTIONS, show her these 10 powerful male character traits...

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why don't girls like me

 

 

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