*** I UPDATE EVERY DAY! ***
HERE'S WHAT'S NEW TODAY! May 9
Funny Pics: Prom Tips from Lindsay Lohan & Paris Hilton
 Prom is a special event that you will always remember (except for the parts where you black-out from puking). So get tips from party-experts Paris "Open Hoo-Ha" Hilton & Lindsay "the lush" Lohan! Funny MySpace Pictures + Twisted Humor.
MY LATEST SEMI-HILARIOUS COMEDY
Funny Pics: Paris Hilton Designs Doll for Children whose Parents want their Daughters to Grow up to be Raging Whores
 Paris Hilton designs toy doll. Pull the string and she says, "Look at me! Somebody look at me! Who wants to see my cl!toris?!" Funny MySpace Pictures + Twisted Humor.
Dating Advice: "What can straight guys learn about dating women from g@y guys?"
G@y guys have a reputation as "Drama Queens." And most girls will deny, deny, deny this BUT... they LOVE drama. Drama stimulates her emotions. And a woman's hoo-ha is directly connected to her emotions. NOTE: That is most important thing I've ever said regarding sex. That, and how I learned it's not polite to put on a bib before "going down." Serious Dating Advice + Seriously Twisted Humor.
Cartoon: My Special Good Luck Charm
 When I was in collge, like a lot of students, I had a... Funny MySpace Cartoons + Twisted Humor.
Funny Pics: Mariah Carey's Shocking Wedding to Nick Cannon Shocks People who are Easily Shocked
 The World Famous Mariah Carey seduces, er, falls in love with The Sorta-Kinda Famous Nick Cannon. Paula Abdul gets jealous. Funny MySpace Pictures + Twisted Humor.
How to Throw Your Own Cinco de Mayo Party, the HogWild Way!
Cinco de Mayo is a
celebration of freedom. Back in the day, the French tried to conquer Mexico. On the 5th of May
(Cinco de Mayo) the much smaller Mexican army, with its
bootleg uniforms and 99 cent store weapons, forced
the much larger French Army to run away. Thus
starting a French tradition that continues to this
day. Funny Rants + Twisted Humor.
Cartoon: "I was cheated on once. And you know how I found out?!"...
 It sucks to be cheated on in a relationship. Especially when you find out like this. :) Funny MySpace Cartoons + Twisted Humor.
Funny Pics: Cher: I had romantic fling with Tom Cruise
 Tom Cruise stars in Missionary Impossible: Cher reveals she tried to seduce Tom Cruise back-in-the-day. She was attracted to his boyish good-looks and he was attracted to her deep man-voice. Funny MySpace Pictures + Twisted Humor.
Video: Grand Theft Auto IV (Funny Parody) Grand Theft Lunch
 Nikko is an accountant. His lunch is stolen from the office refrigerator. Now he's hungry... for revenge! Mwu-HA HA HA! Comedy Video + Twisted Humor.
Funny Pics: Jennifer Aniston Dating John Mayer, Until...
 Jennifer Aniston dating John Mayer... but will a sexy, young, crazy, brunette break them up? HINT: NOT Angelina Jolie! Funny MySpace Pictures + Twisted Humor.
Cartoons: Farting on the NYC Subway
 "I was on the subway and it was dead quiet. Now my stomach was hurting. I tried to hold it in but..." Funny MySpace Pictures + Twisted Humor.
Funny Pics: New TV Talent Show "Celebrity Circus" will be Freak Show
 A Lion Tamer must be calm and cool under all circumstances. That's why the Lion Tamer will be Ryan Seacrest... because there is no chance he'll get excited near a p*ssy! Funny MySpace Pictures + Twisted Humor.
Kevin Garnett will NOT follow Rod Carew, Kirby Puckett & Prince into Minnesota Mount Rushmore of Beloved Black People
Kevin Garnett escaped Minnesota to lead Boston in this year's exciting NBA Playoffs. But no one is enjoying the Playoffs more than the NY Knicks! 3 weeks of paid vacation! Funny Rants + Twisted Humor.
Funny Pics: Amy Winehouse Headbutts Man, Couldn't Find Metal Folding Chair
 Amy Winehouse headbutts man in a drunken rage. Vince McMahon offers her a WWE Wrestling contract! Her signature move: The Grammy Body Slammy. Funny MySpace Pictures + Twisted Humor.
Dating Advice: "What should I wear when looking to pick-up?"
VIDEO/TEXT: The most important thing you wear is your attitude. If you go out with the mindset of "picking up" you will come across as needy and desperate. You're not going shopping. You're meeting people. So put away your "I-need-sex-really-bad" Club Card that's attached to your keychain and pretend that... Serious Dating Advice + Seriously Twisted Humor.
Funny Pics: Ladies, Kanye West is Now Available
 Kanye West breaks-up with fiancee. Reveals he is in love with someone else much more. Himself. + Who does eHarmony say should be his next girlfriend? Funny MySpace Pictures+ Twisted Humor.
Cartoon: "Growing up, our apartment would be SO COLD that the cockroaches would be..."
 I grew up in the Bronx in New York City and in the winter... Funny MySpace Cartoons+ Twisted Humor.
Funny Pics: Hillary Clinton Gushes over Angelina Jolie
 Hillary Clinton compliments Angelina Jolie as a "strong, independent woman." This is the highest praise ever for a blood-vial-wearing, kissing-her-brother-on-the-lips, husband-stealing, toothpick-arm freak! Funny MySpace Pictures + Twisted Humor.
Celebrate Passover Seder with your Favorite Jewish semi-sorta Celebrities!
Together at the dinner table: A Jewish p0rn star, a kleptomaniac actress, a Golden Girl, a TV Judge, a comic book creator and a rap group! Funny Rants + Twisted Humor.
Which Famous Athletes are Lying about their Age?
 And Michelle Wie is hot. (For a pro female golfer.) Which simply means she’s not hideous. As a pro female golfer, she’s a 10. If she was a pro female tennis player, she’d be a 7. If she wasn’t a famous athlete she’d be a 5. And if she was a pro female basketball player she’d be a 14! :) Funny Rants + Twisted Humor.
Funny Pics: Mariah Carey is the Albert Einstein of Pop Singers
 Mariah Carey's new album title: E=MC2. So she's the Albert Einstein of pop singers -- which basically means she's MOEriah of the 3 Stooges. + Empire State Building to be lit up pink & purple to honor "great New Yorker" Mariah Carey. WTF?! Funny MySpace Pictures + Twisted Humor.
Video: Lynda Carter (Wonder Woman) Love Song
My music video tribute to the love of my life, Lynda Carter AKA Wonder Woman! Sing along! "We'll go out on the town... Eating good and beating bad guys down... I'd be up for any task... Plus I like a girl who can kick my a$$!" Comedy Videos + Twisted Humor.
Cartoon: Would Your Rather have your organs stolen or be r@ped in the butt?
 My friend likes to play this ridiculous game, so of course my answer is... Funny MySpace Cartoons + Twisted Humor.
Funny Pics: Ashlee Simpson Pregnant with Human Baby!
 Rumor: Ashlee Simpson is pregnant! Congratulations Ashlee! You did it! You are the 1 Millionth un-wed celebrity to get pregnant this year! + Sister Jessica Simpson gets jealous... K-Fed to the rescue! Funny MySpace Pictures + Twisted Humor.
Dating Advice: "What does it mean when a guy is staring at me?"
VIDEO/TEXT: When guys are staring at a girl they are thinking, "I'd sure to like to provide HER with emotional and financial support until she's old and gray! Yowza!!!" No. When a guy is staring at a girl, it means... Serious Dating Advice + Seriously Twisted Humor.
Funny Pics: Miss USA Crowned, Will Now Wrestle Miss America for Undisputed Title
 Miss USA judges are lame! Yeah, you know you have a legit beauty pageant when your judges are Heather Mills (gold digging tramp) & Rob Schneider (professional moron). Replace them with the judges from American Idol! Or Judge Judy! Funny MySpace Pictures + Twisted Humor.
Kansas City Royals Super Surprising Great Start Still not as interesting as even your Average Pair of Female Boobies
 The Royals are shutting down the opposition with a mix of cast-offs. This group of well-traveled players has seen more jerseys than Alyssa Milano's night stand. Funny Rants + Twisted Humor.
Funny Pics: Lindsay Lohan Must Stay Sober to Play Drug-Addict in New Movie
 Lindsay Lohan to star as love interest in Charles Manson movie. Can she stay clean & sober long enough to do a good job acting like a drug-addicted cult member? + Mickey Mouse as you've never seen him before! :) Funny MySpace Pictures + Twisted Humor.
Dating Advice: "Why won't my ex-boyfriend return my things?"
VIDEO & TEXT: Your ex-boyfriend is hurting. Big time. This is not a reason to get back together with him. But it's something to keep in mind. He needs to go through the break-up process. Right now he's in shock and denial. Soon he will get sad. Then mad. Then he'll hump hookers. Serious Dating Advice + Seriously Twisted Humor.
Funny Pics: Paris Hilton Launches Shoe Line, Makes Legs Look Great when Hanging out Car Window
 Paris Hilton launches shoe line. This is weird. Normally Paris isn't selling lines, she's snorting them! Funny MySpace Pictures + Twisted Humor.
Cartoons: The V@gina Doctor
 I have a friend with a really cool job... he is a v@gina reconstructive surgeon. Funny MySpace Cartoons + Twisted Humor.
Funny Pics: Beyonce & Jay-Z Wedding Pictures!
 Guess who caught the bouquet? Ryan Seacrest! Funny MySpace Pictures + Twisted Humor.
Dating Advice: "I'm seeing a girl who has a long-distance boyfriend. How can I get her to break-up with him?"
Like it or not, you're involved in an Emotional Threesome. NOTE: That is not the good kind of threesome. You need to show her that you... Dating Advice Man + Twisted Humor.
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