L in Tucson writes...

Hi Hog,

I found out that my boyfriend is looking at a free personal ads site on his computer. I found a bunch of porn too. I don't care about the porn, it's just that he always swore that he never looked at it, even though I told him I didn't care if he did. Why the lies?

I have asked him time and time again about his fantasies and he always replies with "I don't have one."

He says he has a low sex drive and we only have sex twice a week.

I don't know if he has cheated but it doesn't look good. How do you think I should confront him? I guess this is why he rarely wants to have sex.

- L in Tucson

People sometimes cover things up when they are embarrassed or ashamed of their activity.

So it could be that he is utterly ashamed that he "handles" "his business" while observing professional sex acts on video and also that he has fantasies that he may not consider to be "normal."

SEXUAL FANTASIES THAT ARE "NORMAL"
- anything that make sense to MEEEE!

SEXUAL FANTASIES THAT ARE "WEIRD" OR "PERVERTED"
- anything that doesn't make sense to me! Although, now that you mention it, maybe I WILL get naked and blow a pin-wheel while you attack my nipples with dandelions. Kinky.

He's not desiring sex? You think he's squeezing the pleasure pole so much that he's got nothing left for you? Whoa. That would be mega-pathetic. Do you think he's not attracted to you? If he's having sex with you then he's into you on some level. Unless he has to get really drunk every time before he does it. Or he has to pop 12 boner-pills, say a prayer, and then he literally holds his nose as he jumps into bed with you.

How you talk to him about this really depends on...

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- It COULD be that he's cheating but this is not hard evidence.

Heh heh. HARD evidence.

Something is certainly "off" with him to claim he has no fantasies or anything and then he's hiding porn. It must be because he...

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Comment below! What do you think the chances are that her boyfriend his cheating? Should she confront him about it now or wait for more evidence?