E in Canada writes...

After a long time, I worked up the courage to tell my friend that I love him. It turns out that he doesn't feel the same way.

I'm OK with that but I would like to know, is this friendship changed for good? Have I wrecked it or is it salvageable? Or should I just leave it as it is?

And as for the feelings, is it unhealthy to have something left over? I may still be holding out that someday we might get a shot. But I'm not going to lose sleep over it anymore.

Thank you.

- E in Canada

Has the friendship changed? Yes.

THINGS THAT CHANGE A FRIENDSHIP
- when you tell the other person you love them in a way that makes your reproductive organs want to, um, reproduce
- when you tell the other person that you have been secretly video recording their bathroom activities and streaming it live over the internet in exchange for 12 dollars.

You need to decide what you WANT. This requires being 100% honest with yourself.

Do you want this to be all or nothing -- a romantic relationship or nothing at all?

That's a valid choice. Many people can't handle only being friends with someone they have deep feelings for.

NERD: Oh why have your forsaken me my half-elf princess?! Why won't you be my lady-elf?! You're not romantically compatible with me because I'm a dork? Hey, I'm not a DORK, I said I'm an ORK! Ok, we don't have to be lovers, we can be friends! Or or or or we can be acquaintances who silently nod to each other when we pass by! No? Oh! I can be your pen pal! No? Oh, I could be the guy who calls you once a month and you say you don't know who I am and that I have the wrong number and I insist that you know me but before I can explain you've hung up the phone and contacted the local authorities! Yes? Yes! We have a relationship! The police say I have to keep 1000 feet away from you at all times...... That's great! That's 1000 feet closer than I usually get to you!

It's very difficult to put those romantic feelings aside to be only friends. Don't be his friend and HIDE your feelings. Don't deceive him into thinking you're his friend when you'll run away if you discover that you can't handle it.

You can gain back your full friendship once YOU come to the understanding he is not the one for you. Once YOU decide that HE is not who you want as a boyfriend.

Romantic love is special precisely because it only exists when it's shared. It's beautiful to love someone and it's heavenly when two people decide to love each other.

With this guy, you don't have this bond. And that's OK. It's NORMAL that two people don't match up in this way, it's RARE that two people DO! That's why mutual love is so special!

You will never be able to be friends with him if you...

This is taken from my Premium Members section where I post my new videos.

Here are some more tips, but only Premium Members get the entire video + access to over 100 full dating and relationship videos in the Video Vault!

- You deserve a man who is CRAZY about you. If this guy you like -- as great as he may be -- is not CRAZY for you, then he is not good enough for you.

- If you imagine him holding hands with another girl and that thought makes you want to knock out all her teeth and then implant them one-by-one into her cheeks and forehead and eye-sockets... then perhaps you need more time to heal.

If he's a majorly awesome friend, then to keep the friendship, you need to...

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Comment below! Have you been able to be friends with someone you had wanted as a partner?