New Americans

by  HogWild

This is a Rant I spewed in response to an ignoramous' post to a message board regarding Immigrants. This guy (Bill) was going on and on about how Immigrants only come to America to get on Welfare, drink our women, and eat our beer. Plus, he demanded that the U.S. adopt English as an Official Language. He was also crying about how he's "disappointed" in our country. So da Hog had to let him know waaaaaaaaa'sup!

Bill,

Immigrants DO respect our country. That's why they risk their lives rowing their families here from Haiti on a raft made of Popsicle sticks. Immigrants make this country great. They work the hardest because they are the neediest. They feel the American Dream. They do the jobs we don't want to do. They risk their lives driving cabs and manning convenience stores at 1 am.

Look Mama! Now we can sail to America!

Immigrants have always been hated out of fear. But after each wave of immigration our great nation has only gotten stronger. The great contributions of New Americans (or immigrants) are too many to name. How about Einstein (Germany) saving our ass in World War II? How about Orlando Hernandez (Cuba) helping the Yankees win the series? How about the countless Chinese who have made delicious egg rolls for us to take-out?

America has no Official language because American Heroes (men much smarter than you or I), Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin decided that we should not have one. But why not? Because we are a FREE country. We have no official language, religion, or even local TV weather station (though they want to convince us otherwise.)

The de facto language is English because of our history. (Wait a second, isn't it ironic that while discussing English as an official language I used a non-English phrase like de facto, HA!) But say, one day most Americans speak Spanish, guess what, your kids will be learning to speak Spanish.

Sure it would help if everybody spoke English. And I think anyone who wants to succeed in the U.S. SHOULD learn English. But your ignorance is astounding. You think most immigrants come to the US to get Welfare? Are you crazy? They come here to work! Most people on Welfare in this country are white folks who sport more tattoos than teeth, live in mobile homes and spend all their money on cigarettes and WWF t-shirts. Check the facts.

Anyhoo, don't worry, the world is coming closer to speaking English as a primary language because of our pervasive culture via TV, movies and the Internet. So fear not, my worried man.

Don't be Disappointed in America. We are the greatest nation still. We have the most money, the most bombs, and the most corn dogs. We rule the Earth. Not since Rome has one nation had so many out-of-shape people rule the Globe from the comfort of their couch.

Peace, Love, and Corn Dogs Forever,

HogWild