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More Losers Comment on a Hot MySpace Girl
Myspace Jokes & Pictures
This fool meant “damn” with an N. On 2nd thought, maybe he really DID mean dam – as in a structure built to hold back the on-rushing fluids coming from his rarely-used jammy.
TO VICTOR: Her foobies (fake boobies) do not produce milk. Ever swallow water in the ocean? Well, if she breast-fed a baby with those fake hooters, the poor baby would die from gulping salt-water. Lesson to be learned: Salt-water – good for taffy, bad for babies.
AND, you will NEVER TTYL (Talk To You Later) with this girl. You may TYPE To You Later… or TOUCH yourself To You Later… but never will she TALK to you later.
TO DARVIN: No offense, but with that pic you look like you and your homeboys are going to gang-rape her in the back of your bouncing automobile. Scary. But you’re right. It is a real good pic. Nice job stating the incredibly obvious.
TO ANDY (AKA The Bootleg LL Cool J): Good move! Always be direct with women. You’ve employed a compliment on her figure and appearance and stated your desire to get to know her better. I am sure this approach will win her heart. Actually, L.L., the only “numba” you’ll be getting from her is the 911 she dials when she sees you.
You didn’t forget about her. But you DID forget about spelling. I’m also betting that you “forgot” to finish school and “forgot” to throw out your waste basket full of sperm-filled tissues before your mom came into your room to get your laundry and yell at you to get a job.
When proposing marriage to a woman, it is most romantic to begin with an expletive such as “holy f-ck” or “damn, b!tch” or “f-ck-yeah-you-hot-azz-semen-slurper. Wanna get married and sh!t?”
At least this dude phrased it in the form of a question. Now, what if this woman said “Yes.” Then your kids will ask how mom and dad met. Mom would have to explain:
“Well, I posted this photo of myself with my huge t!ts hanging on the internet for all to see. And this nice young man took the time to write me a sentence. While I didn’t know him at all, I could tell by his choice of embedded music video in his profile and animated pictures of Michael Jordan dunking a basketball – that he was my true love. Plus, he had the cutest smile… a sideways smiley formed with the equal sign and the letter D."
Many women complain that it is so hard to find a husband. This woman found THREE potential suitors in ONE week! Ladies, stop wasting your time going on dates! Follow her example! Buy breast implants. Put a slutty photo on Myspace. And soon you’ll be getting all sorts of love-emails from the unemployed!
It’s true. This man did not blink once. That is, until he shot a load in his own eye.
BEST POST!!! FUNNY! But, honestly, it looks like he’s lovin’ it at McDonald’s, too.
Please excuse JE. He did not mean anything perverted. He is actually still of breast-feeding age. Nice bicep, though. That will really impress the ladies once you learn to read.
TO XAVIER: nice try – going the “I won’t talk about your t!tties like every other guy” route. She does have beautiful eyes and lips. Nice of you to notice. But you KNOW this nub wants to squeeze her snuggle-bubbles. He’ll hold off talking about her boobs for the 1st 2 dates. Then on the third, he’ll erupt in a Turret's syndrome episode in the middle of Applebees:
“It’s great getting to know you like this. I really feel like we’re making a connection here… WITH YOUR BIG T!TS!!! GOD DAMN WOMAN!!! You got HUGE T!ts! Let me sleep on them! Please!!!!! I wanna spank ‘em like 2 little bratty kids! Wap! Wap! My d!ck is on fire! HELP ME!!!! Smother me in your massive mammary mounds!!!!
Says it all.
I made up a rap for this dude.
That Nig They Call Keith
He ain’t a thief
He got gold teeth
He’s hung like a Christmas wreath
Because he’s that Nig They Call Keith
The halls of P.S. 178 he sweep
Then he hop in his mama’s jeep
And creep to the club 6 deep
Beggin’ girls for a peep
Grindin’ on the dance floor
With a slutty whore
But before he can get her between the sheets
He gets busted like a cheat
He says, “DAMN it! Skeet skeet... in my pants."
The classic Fat Guy approach.
For you horny nubs:
*** More HogWild Funny Stories and Rants ***
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