This is bull$h!t. This is gonna really hurt the underground entertainment industry in this city. That little Chinese man who plays the violin in 14th Street station... now he's gonna have no audience!

Bus drivers need more money? What?! NYC Bus drivers make an average of $55,000 a year! Um... other workers with a similar
level of education are stacking tuna fish cans at the supermarket. Other people with a similar level of education and skill set are in our schools. No, not the teachers. The students! The dumb ones!

Let's replace these unhappy gas-holes who make more money than they are worth... with teenagers! Hey, at least the bus ride will be more entertaining. The bus will be on 22 inch chrome rims, blasting 50 Cent.

C'mon now, the transit workers in this city aren't even that good. The buses, okay, they have to deal with mad traffic and little old annoying ladies asking questions all the time. But I think that stress is worth their $55,000 salary.

There's gonna be a new movie... Speed 3: The Transit Workers Union has rigged all of New York City's buses with bombs.  If the driver's salary goes below 55, the bus explodes.


Now, the subway workers.... hell no! They should get a pay reduction! F^ck them! Let's replace them all with robots. That would be cool. And every 30 minutes, the robots would entertain us as we wait by playing music and dancing the, uh, robot.

Or replace these loser unhappy bitchy workers with hot bims. Instead of paying $2 to a machine for a Metrocard, I'd rather stuff 2 dollar bills into a g-string of a hot chick. Then the big bouncer will let me enter. Strippers will entertain us on the poles in the train. Don't worry, for the gays, there will hunky guys in the rear car. Ha! In the rear.

The man in the booth at my subway stop is always sleeping and when you wake him out of his coma to ask a question, he gets pissed off and hands you a map. Yeah, this high level of customer service is worth a raise. Please. I could fill his stupid glass booth with water and hire a big fat orange goldfish to do his job.

Let's give a raise to New York City's cops and firefighters before we give it to these idiots.

There is always construction on the tracks. How slow are these guys?

You know what, give 'em the raise. Which means all of us will have to pay a higher fare soon. But then I want to be able to FINE them when they screw up:

$5 every time the train is late. $5 every time I see a rat in the subway because they didn't clean properly. $5 every time they mumble the train announcements. $5 every time they stop the train short causing people to fly around in the train. $5 every time they pick their nose on MY time.

I love how they say, "It's not about the money, we want to protect the 'unborn' members of the union." What? Because new members will have to wait a little longer to get their pension? Protect the unborn members of the transit union? Here's how you protect the unborn -- don't let them grow up to be a bus driver!

If you're a bus driver, that's cool. It's an honest job. It pays your bills. But don't you want your children to do a little bit better? You know, maybe drive a forklift?

I've never heard anyone proudly exclaim, "I come from a long line of bus drivers. My father, his father, even his father's father had no career aspirations. And his father's father's father drove caravans of camels around Egypt."

If they go on strike, let's replace the subway transit workers with people who will APPRECIATE a job that pays them even though they aren't that bright or hard-working. The homeless.

The homeless are always hanging out in the subway stations anyway. Why not hand them a bright orange vest and a broom? They
can do just as good a job.

To save money, the transit authority wants to raise the retirement age from the current 55 to 62. What's wrong with that? I thought the retirement age was 65, anyway.

Not only do these workers get paid way more than they are worth, but they also get a PENSION! Um, how many people do you know
still get a pension today?

People don't live to age 65 anymore. The average life expectancy is now closer to 75. You want us (the taxpayers) to pay you a pension for TWENTY years of sitting on your retired ass PLUS the 30 years you sat on your ass as an employee? F^CK THAT!

For $55,000 a year plus a pension plus healthcare, I think we average-ordinary-subway and bus riders should get better treatment. I wanna see transit employee wear white gloves and have them shine my Nikes while I wait for my underground limo. Oh, and how about making the ride pleasant?

When the workers go back on the job, I encourage all New Yorkers to go right up to their bus driver or subway conductor and BOOOOOO!! That's right. Boooooooo!

Every computer programmer without a pension, every young teacher who makes under $55,000, every waitress who works for tips
without health benefits... take a deep breath and BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!