Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock are getting married! You KNOW they will have the Ultimate Trailer Trash Wedding... and YOU are invited!

 

You say, "Isn't this a beautiful place to have a wedding?" It IS, though it's hard to hear the minister over the loud sound of bowling balls crashing into pins.

Why did you stop dancing? Oh, because the music stopped. Somebody puts some coins in the jukebox!!! More Def Leppard!

Kid Rock is looking handsome, wearing a classy black bow-tie over his stained white wife-beater t-shirt. It matches nicely with his full length green camo shorts.

Since Pamela is kind of not a virgin, Pam decided to wear a wedding dress that is off-off-off-off-off-off-off-off-white.

Doesn't Pam's hair look great? Who thought Pam's hair could look so beautiful in a mullet?

 

At first the invitations were going to be traditional handwritten notes on the inside of a matchbook. But to keep up with the times, the wedding invitations were send out as a mass text message: r u coming2our weding? pls call2RSVP after 9pm.

Guests to the Pamela Anderson-Kid Rock Trailer Trash Wedding have been asked to "wear your best sleeveless black wrestling t-shirt." (If you don't have a wrestling t-shirt you may wear a substitute t-shirt with any of the following phrases: "I'm with Stupid", "Outta my way, it's BINGO night!" or "Marlboro."

The party is BYOPBR. (Bring Your Own PBR. Duh.)

For children, there will be a dinner option of hot dogs or tuna fish sandwiches. For adults, there will be a dinner option of hot dogs or tuna fish sandwiches.

Pam, of course, is a vegetarian so she is sensitive to that. The vegetarian meal is a pouch of chewing tobacco.

Help yourself to a slice of wedding cake. It's delicious! It's made out of beef jerky material. But first Pamela will blow out the candles. Okay, they're not really candles. They're actually cigarettes.

Pam throws the bouquet of dandelions! It's caught by Cousin Lisa-Anne! This means Lisa-Anne will finally get married to her longtime boyfriend Cousin Cletus!

In true Trailer Trash tradition, Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson exchange wedding rings. All 10 of them. Because every finger needs a ring at all times. And they also exchanged gold necklaces. 3 each.

The wedding videographer is Scott Stapp, lead singer of Creed, who has been on hand to video all of Kid Rock's most intimate moments.

 

 

 

Pamela's longtime friend David Hasselhoff was supposed to be the wedding singer but he mysteriously disappeared. What's that? There's a problem with Lane 6? Oh, the pins won't reset because there's a body stuffed
into the gutter.

What do you get the couple who has it all? If it helps, they are registered at a store called "Hats 'n Boobs."

 

And the vows were beautiful.

 

Do you take Pamela Anderson to be your lawfully wedded wife? I do.
And do you take Kid Rock to be your lawfully wedded husband? I do.

I now pronounce you... Wife with Kid.