Stupid Sex Jokes Galore at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden 

by HogWild

Went to the Botanic Garden in Brooklyn. I know what you're thinking. But NO, it didn't have an entire section dedicated to the cannabis plant. 

It was pretty. But I learned something. Those plant scientists are pre-verts! Damn botanists must be a bunch of horny old dudes giggling their asses off while they name the plants. 

I have evidence.

See what I mean? Now, if this were the only example you could say it's a fluke. But look:

Besides taking pictures of sexy flora, I also played with the fauna. Apparently, you're not supposed to pet the goldfish.

What kind of bull-tish is that?!! Got busted by the guards at the Botanic Garden. WHAT? I think there is just one Law Enforcement Exam. If you get a high score, you go into the FBI. If you get the ABSOLUTE LOWEST SCORE, you get sent to be a Security Guard at the Botanic Garden. 

"Johnson, I'm putting you on Special Assignment. You're going to protect Virginia Iris."

"Oooh -- sounds important. Who is she?"

"She's a plant."

"Noooo! Not the Botanic Gardens! PLEASE! ANYTHING BUT THAT!"

Yeah, this plant didn't smell too good.

Finally, I found a plant that I can match wits with!

"Aarrrrrg!" In the bonsai section, I felt like Gargamel.

Yeah, I know. Those Crest Whitening strips don't work.

Am I stupid, or are bonsai trees home to teeny-tiny squirrels? Okay. I'm stoooooopid.