HOGWILD.NET semi-hilarious comedy: funny sex jokes and pictures |
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Sex Jokes
by HogWild |
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Okay guys, I have some random thoughts on sex and it's time to share them with you fools. Here are some sex jokes. Except they're true. * I'm in the middle of sha-boinking this bim and she asks me, "Are you wearing a condom?" So I said, "Yeah. Yeah, probably." I figure if you're gonna lie to get them INTO bed, why should the lies... stop... there? I'm TERRIBLE! *** HOGWILD.NET sex jokes *** * One of my college friends was gay. But I didn't know it at the time. But I shoulda KNOWN he was gay! We all went to a Strip Club and he's licking his lips -- at the bouncer. I shoulda KNOWN he was gay! I introduced him to my hot girlfriend and he says, "Does she have a brother?" I shoulda KNOWN he was gay! He owned every episode of The Golden Girls on DVD. I shoulda KNOWN he was gay! But he was all like, "Dude, I'm not f&^kin' gay! I can prove it!" "Stick your finger up my ass. Just do it! See... nothing... I'm not even smiling! Now give me a 3 knuckler ... see, I'm not gay! Suck your thumb and twist it up in there... see I don't like that gay stuff. Here, jam this zucchini up my butt. I TOLD you I'm not --- oh wait -- I'm coming." *** HOGWILD.NET sex jokes *** * I think it's stupid that only certain parts of a woman are acceptable to compliment. *** HOGWILD.NET sex jokes *** * Sometimes I fart during a blow job. *** HOGWILD.NET sex jokes *** * I wrote this note to a really hot bim online. Hi S-------, ***
HOGWILD.NET sex jokes *** * I would NEVER date a bodybuilder bim. Because I have this nightmare that she would squeeze my jammy so hard, the red head pops off into the air and lands in someone's soup. *** HOGWILD.NET sex jokes ***
*** HOGWILD.NET sex jokes *** * I think porn stars have scrap books so they can reminisce. Tina Torpedoes is like, "Ooh! I remember those breasts! They were so cute! OH, and my first inter-racial-anal-Asian-midget sex scene!" *** HOGWILD.NET sex jokes *** * Never admit to a bim that you are
boning her for batting practice. She got real mad when I told her, "I *** HOGWILD.NET sex jokes *** * One time my woman complained to me, "You just f^%k me, you don't MAKE LOVE to me." So the next time we did it, I made sure when she opened the condom, there was a poem inside. STOOOOOOOOPID! |
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