Stock
Market Tips. Stock Market Advice for First Time Investors. Serious Stock
Market Tips + Seriously Twisted Humor.
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Then put down the Appetizers. Serious Stock Market Tips + HogWild's Seriously Twisted Humor HOG: We've got Evan the Stock Market Maven to teach us ordinary nubs how to make money in the Stock Market. And we've got me to make stupid ass jokes. Go ahead, Evan, teach us about the Stock Market.
EVAN: Did you just start your
first job out of college? Are you new to investing and want
to get started? Well if this is the case then I can help you. First
I want to inform you about the misconception of investing a small
amount of money. There are some people out there that think
you can't invest your money unless you have $1,000,000.
This is not true.
HOG: Well, it WOULD be worth that
much if I could scrape this old booger off it. Wait.... don't do that.... I need you to keep on buying Starbucks, if you read my last Stock Market article you would understand.
I believe there is this misconception
that you need a lot of money to invest because most people want to
quadruple their money in a matter of minutes. And this is very
difficult to do (but not impossible) no matter how much money you
are investing.
Historically a stock that is, at let's say, $5.00 (Sirius Satellite radio) and you buy $1000 worth of this company you will have 200 shares. Now you are excited because if the stock goes up $1.00 you have a gain of $200. Woo Hoo. However, there is usually a reason the stock is $5.00.
For example SIRI has never
profited a dollar and by the time you get that gain you could have
purchased a stock that increases on average .30 a day and
made the gain you wanted. If you are confused then let me sum it up
for you.
If you buy an apple for $1 and you sell
it for $2 in a week -- you made a dollar. However, if you buy
an orange for $1 and you sell it for $2 in one day then the
orange is a better buy. If everybody is doing this, then the stock will be oversold and will be soon doomed to fall.
In order to avoid large losses, invest
in companies that have proven track records. Google is a good
example of a technology company that could have been doomed. When
Google stock first came out (IPO) investors were placing their money
in Google even though they never reported income. However, now every
time they release earnings they make more and more money.
I've heard a lot of financial advisers
give advice to "entry level investors" saying they should go with a
mutual fund with no fees because with a mutual fund your
money will be diversified.
For example if you owned Apple
computer last year, they had a return of 140% and Google had
a 300% return. This is more risky but the risk/return factor
is in your favor.
EVAN: Okay, that's enough. To speak with Evan, email him directly: evan1002@gmail.com
Stock Market Tips: Starbucks vs. Star Jones
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Stock
Market Tips. Stock Market Advice for First Time Investors. Serious Stock
Market Tips + Seriously Twisted Humor.
|
| EXPERT DATING ADVICE | DATING ADVICE | DATING COACH | MEMBERS | STORE | FUNNY PICTURES | FUNNY RANTS | COMEDY VIDEOS | DATING ADVICE MAN | CARTOONS | CHATS | GAMES | LINKS | COMEDY SHOWS | CONTACT | JOIN NOW | |