Kids, undoubtedly your parents will drag you on a car-trip this summer to see some ugly relatives you don’t care about or to some bootleg Amusement Park where the scary thing isn’t the Roller Coaster—it’s the chance you’ll be spotted by your friends with your parents.

So what do you do to pass the time when you’ve drained the batteries in the Game Boy and you’ve listened to every MP3 twelve times?

* Count the number of hairs left on Dad’s scalp. Then you can argue with your brother about it. “Dad’s got 40 hairs left!” “No he doesn’t, he’s only got 20—ear hair doesn’t count!”

* While your sister is sound asleep, twist her seat belt around her neck and count how many seconds it takes for her face to turn purple.

* Spit loogies out of the window and try to catch them as they fly back.

* Think up dirty vanity license plates like AZZMNCH, 4NKSHUN, B00B1E5, SKRU-U, RU36DD, IMWET, G0YNKDZ, F0Q0FF, 69ER,  EZHO, 9INPKG, JZMNKY, and BOXL1CKR.

* Flip through every radio station trying to “name that tune” before everyone else. Except every time you hear a Classic Rock song, yell the same answer, “NURSING HOME ROCK!”

* Eat sunflower seeds and spit the shells at your sister.

* Get Dad in trouble by continuously asking him, “Dad we’re going to see Aunt Gertie, right? Why do you call her Hippo-Faced Pig’s Ass? Or is it Pig-Faced Hippo’s Ass?”

 * Play long time-consuming games like who can name all of the state capitals, list all of J.Lo's ex-boyfriends, identify every bad Sylvester Stallone movie, name all the rappers who have been arrested within the last 6 months…

Parents, want some Revenge?

* Count the number of pimples on your son's face. Then argue with your wife about it. "Freddy's got 19 pimples!" "No he doesn't! You forgot to count that acne chain of 12 on his forehead!"

* While the kids are asleep, play the Obedience Hypnosis tape over and over until they start twitching. 

* Spit loogies out the window and laugh as they fly into your children's faces in the backseat.

* Think of vanity license plates to buy for your car like, N0M0KIDS, P0PCNTRL, 3BRATS, L1FESUKR, BADKIDZ,  2L82AB0RT, IH8KDS, DONTHAV6, RUBR-BRK.

* Flip through every radio station trying to "name that tune" before everyone else. Except every time you hear a Rap song, yell the same answer, "M&M's, Snoopy, and Dr. Pepper!"

* Eat Mexican fast food then lose all self-control while disabling everyone's power windows.

* Get your son in trouble by continuously asking him, "So, are you going to finish telling me that funny story you read in your sister's diary?"

* Play long time-consuming games like naming all of the TV shows that have been cancelled since you were a kid, recalling every left fielder the Mets have ever had since 1962, and listing the reasons why the world today is going hell.