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Hi Hog,

I like this girl but I'm scared to ask her out. I also need advice on what makes girls laugh.

-R

Hog's Relationship Advice:


If you're too scared to ask her out it's because you are thinking of the pain of her possibly rejecting you.

Sure, that's ouchy. But let's be real. Let's get some perspective:

Imagine yourself old. Really old. Like 30. Do you think this decision to ask her out will affect your entire life?

HINT: No.

Now imagine yourself as a 90 year old man. Really imagine it! Wrinkles on your face. Gray pubic hair! Ewwww! Now what will make you feel worse? The stuff you tried to do that didn't work out? Or the stuff you wanted to do, but didn't even TRY to do?

If you ask her out and she says "No" then it's her loss. Whatever. There are plenty of girls out there who wants to play tongue-tag with you. Really. You just need to meet more girls.

Let me break it down for you:

What you MIGHT have to lose by asking her out:

- She says no and you feel a little embarrassed

What you have to gain by asking her out:

- feeling great that you conquered your fear and went for it!

- she says "Yes" and you get to know her better and have fun

- she pays for your movie ticket (pimp!)


SUPER IMPORTANT: You don't just ask a girl on a date out of no where. She has to like you first. That leads to the next part of your question: How do you make a girl laugh?

Well, I'll start by giving you tips on what does NOT make girls laugh:

- jokes about poop
- jokes about sounds and smells associated with poop
- actual poop

NOTE: All of these things make guys laugh hysterically. HA HA HA! I'm actually laughing just saying the word poop. Poop! HA HA HA!

Other stuff that girls don't laugh at:

- jokes about their weight
- jokes that make fun of people for stuff they can't do anything about (like making fun of the handicapped or the retarded or Lisa's zits)
- The Three Stooges

NOTE: Of course, there are some girls who laugh at those things.

NOTE: Those girls are awesome!

NOTE: Those are the type of girls who visit my web site.


What DOES make girls laugh:

- pictures of cats doing funny things
- jokes that have a story
- making fun of celebrities
- making fun of other people's fashion choices

So how do YOU make a girl laugh?

Easy!

Show her pictures of cats doing funny things!

Okay, for real, this is what works:

Tease her.

That's right. Tease her. Gently.

RIGHT WAY TO TEASE A GIRL:

You actually read the assigned chapters for class? You're so good! (Squint your eyes in pain) Hold on, you're hurting my eyes! Your halo is so bright!

WRONG WAY TO TEASE A GIRL:

You actually read the assigned chapters for class? You're such a f*cking nerd! And you've got a disgusting fat ass, too!

Tease her gently. Girls love that. You know you're doing it right when she smacks your arm and laughs. You know you're doing it wrong when she smacks your face and calls the police.


 


 

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Dating Advice Man. Relationship Advice + Twisted Humor. Good Advice from HogWild. Jokes.  HOGWILD.NET  semi-hilarious comedy Relationship Advice.

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