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Hey Hog,

I'm at University and my first year here went pretty quiet UNTIL I discovered your dating advice. Since then I've become more confident and acted as a proper bloke should. (Thanks for the tips, Hog).

I've had fun and had plenty more dates. Now I've met someone who I think could be more than that. It's still early on in the relationship however, so I haven't said anything yet..

My question is... When you know you want something more than just dating, what is the best way to accelerate the relationship? Thanks!

- P in the U.K.

Hog's Relationship Advice:

You want more than just dating? I'm guessing that means you want to take it to the next level. You want to be... lab partners.

You experiment together. She holds your test tube. You light her Bunsen Burner. You form a covalent bond. When you're around her, you even hold in your, um, Noble Gases. And together you have... chemistry.

OK, so you want to have an exclusive relationship. You are only with each other.

Why would anyone do that? It happens when this formula is reached:

the PLEASURE of having you + the PAIN of losing you > the pleasure of having others

Of course, if a person feels they have no ability to get others, then they want a relationship right away. This is called "desperation."

You need to make this girl feel great when she's around you and make her feel empty when you're not around.

- make her feel good about herself with the things you say about her
- do fun things together like eating chocolate or dancing or dancing around n@ked covered in chocolate

What does she want? Excitement? Adventure? Loyalty? Someone to confide in? All of the above?

BE what she wants.

Make it so she WANTS to be with you full-time. Be the things she wants.

First, find out what she wants. How?

That's easy. Ask her, "Describe your ultimate fantasy boyfriend."

Don't get intimidated by her description. I'm sure your ultimate fantasy girlfriend would intimidate her, too. It doesn't mean you wouldn't be a great match.

As she's describing her ultimate boyfriend, don't come across as taking notes and obviously trying to be her fantasy boyfriend. That would be kiss-ass.

NEVER be a kiss-ass. That's disgusting and it is super UN-attractive. That's the #1 way a guy can lose a girl's respect. And once you lose a girl's respect, you lose her totally. Game over.


- when she comes home, she finds you taking photographs of yourself wearing her lipstick. And the lipstick is totally the wrong color for you!

- when you're walking with her down a dark street and a man approaches you, you run away! Even though the man was 72 years old and was about to ask for directions.

- she asks you to kill a spider and you scream, "Ewwww! Bugs are creepy!" Then you try to run away, but you fall down because you're wearing her high heels.

Now you can describe your fantasy girlfriend to her. Be mostly honest, but girls are very sensitive so don't crush her by saying your fantasy girlfriend is thin with natural 36DD boobs when she is an A cup. Stick to general traits. Beautiful. Pretty. Sexy. Smart. Fun-loving...

Don't say, "You're everything I want!" Yuck.

Tease her. Say something like, "Yeah, I guess I like you because you match up to a lot of the things I'm looking for. Maybe one day I can settle for you. HA HA HA!" Make sure you smile and laugh so she knows you're joking!

You did a good job if she punches you in the arm and is laughing as she calls you a jerk.

You did a bad job if she punches you in the nuts and is laughing as she calls you an ambulance.

Find out what she wants. Don't change yourself if the things she wants are against your values but you can certainly adapt yourself, improve yourself.

I am 100% in favor of people improving themselves for their own self-confidence and so they are more attractive, physically and personality-wise.

You want more choices? Make yourself look better. Make yourself more cool. Make yourself more fun. More exciting.

Of course you can!

And the real secret is that once you do that stuff, you'll be happier with YOURSELF. And being happy with yourself, is a SUPER attractive trait!

Here are some other tips on how to make this girl want you exclusively:

- Create a deep emotional connection.

Talk about real stuff. Silly conversations are great at the start. Laughing together is important. But so is being able to confide in someone. To share your deepest feelings. Get her to talk about things she only discusses with her closest friends. Become her closest friend.

How? You have to open yourself to her. You go first. Never judge her. Accept her.

For example you can tell her, "Back when I was 6 years old, I had this frog. I called him 'Freedom.' Because he loved to jump around and be free. So I put him in a tiny glass cage so I could watch him.

"And every day he'd jump around, slamming his head against the wall of the cage. It was like he was trying to escape! But I know he loved it in there because I fed him bubble gum. But then one day... sorry I'm getting choked up.... <ahem> One day, I came back home from a few weeks at summer camp and he... he had hung himself!" <weeping>

After a story like that, she'll be sure to share her emotions with you, too. Or she'll slap you in the face with a hot iron.

- Careful flattery.

Don't compliment things she didn't earn. Don't compliment her eyes. Lame-o. (Unless you're already in a relationship.)

But if she took the time to look pretty today by doing her hair and make-up and clothes, say so.

For example say, "Hey! You look really pretty today! Did you get a face transplant? ... OW! You didn't have to slap me with a cactus!"

But here is the strongest, most powerful compliment you can give... compliment something she is insecure about.

Only give sincere compliments. So if she's insecure about that big hairy mole on her butt and you think it's gross -- do NOT compliment it. But if she's insecure that her ears stick out and you honestly think her ears are cute... tell her so. Focus on them. Make her feel great about something she felt crappy about before she met you.

- BE pleasure.

Everyone's got problems. Make her feel amazing when she's around you. Make her forget all her problems.

You know you're doing it right, if she says something like, "You know, I've been having so much fun with you tonight that I totally forgot about my brain surgery tomorrow morning."

Don't solve her problems. She doesn't want you to even if it sounds like she does. She just wants you to sympathize. But more importantly, make her forget it all by bringing her into your world of awesome.

Over time she should fall in love with your world of awesome and want to abandon her world of crap. This is when you can begin to make demands -- like being exclusive.

If she is content with her life, then she has no reason to add you to it. Make her see that her life is actually not that great. That it's missing something. Sometimes this happens naturally when she discovers how awesome it feels to be with you.

Hint at all the great things you will be doing in the future. Hint how she could be the one to experience these with you.

Find out what fantasy she wants. And be the man who can bring it to her. Her fantasy could be a life of luxury, of travel and adventure, of naughty pleasures...

For example, if she wants a life of luxury, you don't have to BE rich... but she has to see that you WILL be rich in the future by the fire in the your eye, your ambition...

If she wants adventure, you don't have to take her on an exciting trip to the wild jungles of Africa to save handicapped baby tigers right NOW, but she should know you WOULD if she was your girl.

Make her feel like SHE is the one coming after YOU. You should be the one who doesn't want to commit. But tell her how she is giving you feelings and sucking you in. Tell her to stop it! :)

- Be unpredictable. Full of surprises.

I know you've been wanting me to do this for a long time, and I finally did it. I clipped my toe nails! Oh, and tonight I'm going to cook you dinner! Um, no, those two things are not related.

I got a speeding ticket. Oh, and I have monkey AIDS.

Do things like back off unexpectedly. Never pressure her or crowd her. Let her wonder why you are losing interest. Send mixed signals. Confuse her.

Girls complain about this all the time. But it works. Girls love drama.

Make her work for you. Don't be easy to get. Let her figure out that other girls want you.

The goal is to fill her mind with thoughts of you.

The best time to send her a sweet text message is right before she goes to bed or right when she wakes up. You want her thinking about you.

There is so much to this topic but I'll leave you with the one thing no one wants to admit... but it's incredibly powerful.


For some reason, guys think that girls don't care about sex as much. Not true.

The difference is, guys need sex all the time. Girls demand GREAT sex. Girls don't want to settle for average sex.

To guys, average sex is better than no sex. To most girls, no sex is better than average sex but they CRAVE... great sex.

Great sex begins in the mind. It's about how much a girl wants you. How much she respects you.

It gets more emotional (and better) when she feels close to you. And protected by you.

It gets phenomenal when in addition to that, you are also a master of the physical techniques.

That's another lesson. But I'll say this... get GREAT at sex. Be the best she's ever had and she will hold onto you.

Because you will become VERY difficult to replace. Most guys are pretty sucky at sex. Because they don't care enough to please the woman or because they don't care enough to practice and learn technique.

Get your body in good shape. You don't have to be ripped (although that doesn't hurt!) Just don't be fat and don't be wimpy.

Do those things and you'll be irresistible to her!

She'll want you like pancakes want maple syrup.
She'll want you like karaoke wants drunk people.
She'll want you like I want Freedom the Frog to come back to life! <sniffle!>

So hold up your head. Hold down your liquor. And hold in your Noble Gases!


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Dating Advice Man. Relationship Advice + Twisted Humor. Good Advice from HogWild. Jokes.  HOGWILD.NET  expert dating advice Relationship Advice.