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Dating Advice Man + Twisted Humor by the Expert Dating Advice giver HogWild
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He would go out of his way to say hi to me a lot in class and in the halls, even in my last year when he was no longer my teacher. However, there was one particular situation that confused me.
One of the last days of school before graduating, my boyfriend of that time kissed me and when I turned around, I noticed my ex-teacher was watching us with a little smile on his face.
Why was he was smiling?
It almost seemed as though he was smiling because he was happy for us and thought we were cute.
But my friend said that he was only smiling to cover-up and really he was heartbroken inside.
He also said that he was probably being vindictive thinking to himself something like, "Yeah buddy, you think you're on top of the world now... but you're going to lose."
I was wondering what you think about the situation and what was going through his head at that moment in time.
Why do you think he was smiling? Is it possible that he really did like me?
- A in Canada
Hog's Relationship Advice:
Your friend is an idiot.
Not in a general way. I mean, your friend doesn't know what the hell he is talking about in this particular situation.
It's very DANGEROUS to ask your friends' advice on dating and relationship matters because they have their own agendas. They may TRY to give you good advice, but usually they can't because either:
1 - they like you too much to tell you the truth if it may hurt your feelings
2 - they are girls and they will project their own fears, insecurities, and past situations onto you
3 - they are guys and they want to boink you so you they will say things to put down the other guy
4 - they really are not that bright. You love them as a friend but if they were in a comic book, their thought bubble would be empty.
So if you ask a friend for advice -- ANY advice, not just relationship advice -- you must know their biases and their angle.
Get the advice of many friends to balance it out. And then feel free to ignore all of them. YOU make the final decision.
And beware of people giving you unsolicited advice. If you tell someone about a situation and they are jumping up and down to tell you what to do when you didn't even ask their opinion -- that means they have been in the same situation and they are scared you will make the same mistake they did. But your situation may be different.
In general, it's best to go with your gut instinct. And listen to friends who have nothing to lose or gain.
You may even have some friends who don't ever want you to be in a relationship because they're scared you won't spend any more time with them.
NOTE TO GUYS AND GIRLS: Once you get into a relationship do NOT only hang out with your partner. Don't forget your friends! When guys only spend time with their girlfriend, this is called falling into the "Snatchmosphere." When a girl only spends time with her boyfriend, she is called a "Nut Hugger."
The BEST thing to do is to study how dating and relationships work by reading all the information that is out there.
But you won't do that.
The WORST thing you can ever do when asking for relationship advice is to ask your ugly single friends. That's like asking a homeless guy how to get into Harvard.
HOMELESS GUY: How you get into Harvard? Well, first you hitchhike there. Then you knock on the door! Duh! You people who live indoors sure are stupid!
Now to your specific question, did your former teacher like you?
It sounds like it. But so what?
If he made you uncomfortable, then that's not cool. But it sounds like he behaved appropriately. The age difference is one thing -- the reason a teacher can't date a student is because of the authority and trust relationship between teacher and student. It's not fair to use that as leverage with young girls.
Although when older FEMALE teachers mount their male students it's totally cool! Why didn't I have teachers like that?
In B.C. times (Before Comedy) I had a job as a high school teacher. I had male and female students I liked better than others -- not in a dating way -- but because they were nice people and didn't make me want to hang myself like some of the other kids in class.
And there were girls who would hit on me and make comments -- but I wouldn't allow myself to be attracted to them because I felt it was wrong. Kinda like how you don't date your pretty cousin.
NOTE TO PEOPLE IN WEST VIRGINIA: Stop dating your cousin. Especially since she's your student!
Why would you care if your former teacher liked you? Because it's NAUGHTY! HA HA!
So now what? Now that you've graduated and you're of legal age, you want to go back and date your former teacher? Have him discipline you? Bend you over his knee and spank you?
Give you an anatomy lesson?
Sneak off to the cafeteria kitchen so he can feed you his mystery meat?
Awwww! HA HA HA!
Unless you plan to go back to get him, it's really not that important. So feel flattered.
But I have the feeling that since you took the time to write me, that you DO care and you found it more than flattering. That part of you likes your teacher. Yeah, THAT part!
You're an adult now so you can do what you like. It would certainly be an interesting starting point for a relationship.
If you want to date him, I'd say you show up to Parent-Teacher conferences to say hi to him. Then hand him a report card to fill out. Ask him to grade you. In Looks, Personality, and Intelligence.
If he gives you straight A's, then ask him if he's happy to see you or if that's a rolled-up diploma in his pants.
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