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Dear HogWild,

Yesterday I found out that this boy I like, who likes me, has a girlfriend.

He has been flirting with me, telling me he likes me, that he wants to kiss me, he wants to go out with me, he even gave me a ring!!

He has been holding my hand and telling me how beautiful I am. Why is he being like this?

He has a reputation as a player but I gave him the benefit of the doubt since we were friends before all this nonsense started happening.

The weird thing is that none of his friends seemed to know he was dating this other girl. They were always asking if WE were dating.

I was told I can do so much better than him but the thing is I still like him even though he was playing me... Even though we weren't actually dating... But we sure acted like it!

What should I do?

- B in Canada

Hog's Relationship Advice:

There is one thing in this life that is your most precious asset...

It's something that once you lose, you can NEVER get back...

That's right. I'm talking about your nipples.

No! Your nipples are none of my business!

I'm talking about your time!

If you run out money, you can figure out how to make more. If your boyfriend leaves you can learn how to get a new one. You can do anything you want in the world except...

You cannot recover lost time.

Time is too valuable to waste. Because once it's gone, it's gone forever and nothing you can do will bring it back.

We have a limited amount of time on this planet. So don't let anyone waste it.

Is this guy wasting your time?

Depends on what you want. You want a fun fling? Or do you want a boyfriend?

BENEFITS OF HAVING A FLING VS. HAVING A BOYFRIEND
- Flings require no commitment and are just for some physical fun
- Boyfriends require commitment. A commitment to teaching them not to burp in public, shoot snot rockets at squirrels, and how to behave like a proper gentleman.

NOTE: <BURRRP!> Excuse me. I need to apologize to a squirrel.

It might sound weird to you since you are young that a guy can be wasting your time but if he's unwilling to give you what you want... then move along.

If you went into a cafe because you wanted ice cream but the cafe didn't serve ice cream... Would you stand around in the cafe waiting around hoping one day they will serve you ice cream?

Or would you say, "Oh that's too bad" then leave and go somewhere else?

Don't be one of those girls who is like, "But I can CHANGE the cafe! Everyday I will tell them to serve ice cream and I'm sure one day they will put it on the menu!"

This guy has no ice cream.

The guy is flirting with you. Yes, he likes you. But how much? And for what reason?

Why would his friends not know that he has an official girlfriend? Is he keeping that quiet so he can pursue other girls?

REASONS A GUY KEEPS HIS RELATIONSHIP A SECRET
- he wants to keep his options open
- he is embarrassed to be with the girl
- he is a member of a special missions squad and if captured by the enemy he doesn't want them to know the identity of anyone they can kidnap to make him talk

or it's because...

- he's a jerk-face jerk-a-zoid!

But even if he was legit and serious about you, figure out... WHY do you like him? Do you have solid reasons?

GOOD SOLID REASONS TO LIKE A GUY
- he's hot
- he's got F.E.P. (Future Earning Potential)
- he's a nice, caring person who loves to give you foot rubs while reciting poetry about snow

NOTE: Yeah, right.

NOT-SO-SOLID REASONS TO LIKE A GUY
- he's the only guy who gives you any attention
- he doesn't smell... THAT bad
- at least he doesn't blow snot rockets at squirrels and burp!

NOTE: Burrrrrp!

If want him to be your boyfriend... Do you two have values in common?

TYPICAL VALUES TO HAVE IN COMMON WITH YOUR TEENAGE BOYFRIEND
- you both hate the same kind of pop music
- you both think it's important to go to college to get your education in various party drugs
- you both want to have a family some day but YOU'RE gonna be a totally cool parent, not like your mom who is so uptight because she won't even let you hang out past 11 pm. On a Tuesday. With your friend Razor. Behind the bowling alley. To smoke. After you've had sex. With Razor. And his friends Chainsaw and Bullet.

If you decide that you really like this guy for good reason then go ask him directly, "I know you have a girlfriend. So why are you acting this way with me? Do you want to see me on the side?"

Tell him, "I am not your side dish! I am not mashed potatoes! If you want all this juicy gravy, then you'd better treat me like a piece of meat! Um... yeah!"

If this guy you like is indeed awesome (only date awesome people otherwise why bother?) then you have to go through the process of finding out why he is hiding his relationship from even his friends!

Then find out if he likes you enough to break-up with her to be with you.

Then you need to verify that he really DID break-up with her and that he's no longer seeing her -- or anyone else.

Because some guys will pretend to break-up with their girlfriend but still see her while they date you. I call this pretend break-up a "fake-up."

Will you be able to trust this guy in a relationship? This is a guy who has a secret girlfriend while he hardcore flirts with you. If you can't trust a guy, then you have no hopes of a having a strong relationship with him.

MUST-HAVES FOR A STRONG RELATIONSHIP
- trust
- appreciation
- shared interests. Like blowing snot rockets at squirrels.

Now think about this next thing carefully... Do you like him or the IDEA of being in a relationship? There's a big difference.

To find out, ask yourself, "If another really cool guy asked me out would I prefer to go out with him or with this player-dude?"

Sometimes -- not all the time -- but sometimes our friends can see things better than us because they are outside the emotion of the situation.

Your friends think you can do better. Plus you know his reputation as a player. And you've already gotten off to a rocky start since he didn't tell you he had a girlfriend.

Go out and get yourself an awesome guy. But you must also protect your heart. Protect your feelings. Protect your time. And most importantly, protect cute little squirrels from jerk-face jerk-a-zoids who are trying to cover them in snot rockets!

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