I had been dating a girl. She is 14 going on
15 and I am 16 going on 17.
Why do kids
always have to say "going on." Like, hey, I'm only 14 now, but, I'm making real
Anyway I broke up with her for 2 reasons
1 - Her parents didn't like me.
2 - I felt like she was a cheater.
She went to Kings Island Amusement Park with this guy she didn't even
know and before the end of the night she was holding hands and cuddling
with him. And this is when we were still going out.
Also when I was away for a little bit she had started talking to this other guy.
Anywho, I really love her and I mean, really love her.
I couldn't live if it wasn't for her.
I know you're thinking it's just a teen thing but I really love her. She
is rushing for us to get back together and have you ever heard, you can't
love someone unless you love yourself? Well that's me. I love her so much.
Eric in Ohio
HOGWILD.NET expert dating advice every day
Hog's Relationship Advice:
I am not a psychologist.
I am closer to a proctologist.
Because I deal with people's $h!t.
Eric, I will give you my highly qualified advice based on my years of
dating and extensive experience of being rejected in high school.
1st issue: her parents don't like you.
Here's how you make old people like you:
- Be polite to them. Old people eat that $h!t up. - Talk about boring stuff that old people like.
Examples: The weather, traffic, something the President is doing, their
2nd issue: If she is a cheater, stay away from her. The End.
Are you SURE she is a cheater? If yes, you don't need that drama. Have
respect for yourself. Very rarely should you forgive that.
When should you MAYBE think about forgiving a cheating girl?
- She is your baby's mama.
- The guy she cheated with was the very "persuasive" Kobe Bryant.
- She is like, way hotter than any chick you will ever get, like, ever.
She wants to get back together? Great!
There is an old Carole King song that goes: "But it's too late baby,
it's too late. Though we really did try to make it."
More recently there is a love song by Eamon:
You thought you could
Keep this $h!t from me
You burnt b!tch I heard this story
You played me
You even gave him head
Now you're asking for me back
You're just another hack
Look elsewhere cause you're done with me
F*** what I said it don't mean $h!t now
F*** the presents might as well throw 'em out
F*** all those kisses they didn't mean jack
F*** you you ho, I don't want you back
That's the kind of healthy attitude you should take.
In the words of the prophet, Snoop Dogg, "B!tches ain't $h!t but hoes
And it even says in the Bible, "Thou shalt not covet a ho."
If a girl cheats on you, forget her.
Yes, it burns. It burns bad. But you WILL live.
Yes, you need to learn to love yourself. That is, in the words of the pot
smoking diva Whitney Houston, The Greatest Love of All.
NOTE: The 2nd Greatest Love of All is barbecued babyback ribs.
Ooooooh, those are sooooo goooood.
Accept God's love. You are loved. And you should love people. But
if someone hurts you, you owe them NOTHING. Move on, big kid.
Besides, in college, there will be maaaaaaaad hotties. (As
long as you don't go to Case Western Reserve University.)
I know it's hard to believe, but you need to find happiness in life 1st.
Then look to add a girl into this mix. Bonus points if that girl is hot.
Double-bonus points if she can cook.
Listen man, you THINK you love her. And you know what, maybe you do. But
she doesn't deserve it. See you WANT to love her.
Maybe she makes you feel good and like you belong and accepted. That's all good,
except she also hurt you. Not cool.
There is something called The Test of Time. If something lasts, that is
proof it is strong. What do you think is a good amount of time for someone to
PROVE their love?
HINT: More than the 3 weeks
you spent together during summer vacation.
Saying something is worth very little. It's their ACTIONS. It's how they
If a girl says, "I love you" and then she steals your X-Box and
eats all your Twizzlers.... is that REAL love?
You can't LIVE without her? Oh my God! Is she
holding the tube to your oxygen tank?!! Is she spooning the food into
your mouth?!! Dude, you CAN and WILL live without her. And you CAN be happier!
Weird. But true.
When I was your age and heartbroken I would:
- Write sad poems
- Listen to Gangsta Rap Music
- Masturbate furiously
Actually, I STILL do those things. But NOW I know I will be okay.