Got any wisdom on how to get a guy (whom we give 'oral pleasure' to - oh so
willingly) but he NEVER returns the 'favor'????
I need some - and my guy has not cooperated......... my
jaw is sore - but hey - not complaining...... just - Waiting
patiently......................
- S
Hog's Relationship Advice:
You are waiting patiently?! Then you will
waiting for a long time!
Add up all the minutes you've spent with his Wiggle Stick in your mouth.
Now add 10% interest. Now present him with a bill.
To be paid at once, ALL at once. Not with
money, but with time spent vacuuming your vagina with his face.
So girl, grab a good book, because this guy's gonna be working on your
"Highway to Heaven" from sunrise to sunset!
If you never ask a guy to return the favor, he thinks:
"Sweet! She doesn't care if I go down on her! This girl is awesome!"
He feels no guilt. No shame. No remorse. He has no feelings. He'll commit
1st Degree Murder... of Foreplay.
Most guys will weasel out of their oral obligations,if you let
them. Now, there are some guys that really like the deep sea diving.
If you find one of these guys, give him a snorkel mask and tap him on
the shoulder in an hour.
I know a guy, all he likes to do is eat p*ssy.
He can tongue-slam and finger-bang a chick the entire time while watching
Toy Story 2.
He sprinkles p*ssy on his cornflakes.
He blasts old school Metallica, wraps your pretty legs around his head, and
devours your junk like a rabid bulldog -- all while throwing up the
rock-n-roll devil horns with both hands.
We call him the P*ssy Monster.
Loves to eat p*ssy.
I wouldn't even consider that cheating. If my girl told me, "I'm sorry. But
before you got here, this guy ate my clam sandwich for lunch."
I would stare at my girlfriend and say, "So that means, I don't have to
do it, right?"
Then she'd be all primed for the prime rib beef stick. And away we go!
I WILL and DO chew on the Labia flavored bubble gum... but it's not my favorite
thing to do.
List of chores in order of preference:
1 - Take out the trash 2 - Face full of feminine flaps 3 - Wash the dishes
My girl now says she doesn't WANT me to go downtown to her Ground Round.
See guys, there IS a benefit to being incompetent!
When a man is trying to get a woman to slob on your knob, he must be delicate,
carefully persuasive, and gentle in his approach.
When a woman is trying to get a man to massage her meat pocket
with his
nose, you must demand: Eat my p*ssy, NOW!!!!!!!
Sure, your man will look at you as if he's 8 years old and you're the big
bully that just knocked the ice cream cone out of his hand, but, he will
descend to your dewy dragon's den with that same look of fear on his
face. And he will get the job done.
He will clean the pussy cat's fur.
NOTE: Just make certain your odor is
not offensive. One time, back-in-da-day, this bim wanted me to kiss her
lady-lips. But she stunk like a hairy homeless man getting a suntan.
I didn't know how to tell her. So I jabbed my finger 3-knuckles-deep in her
sludge and slowly dragged that contaminated finger under her nose.
I talk about boyfriend problems WAAAAY more in-depth in the premium members section. AND that's also where I answer your SPECIFIC individual relationship questions.
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