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Hi Hog,

How do I ask a girl I am friends with (and now sort of fooling around with) to be exclusive?

- David in Miami

Hog's Relationship Advice:

Be straight up with her. Take her to a romantic restaurant. Reach across the table to gently hold her little hand. Look soulfully into her eyes as the candle-light flickers. And tell her your true feelings. Say: "Let's become official banger and bangee."

HA HA HA!! No.

This is something I just learned: You are not supposed to ask the girl to "go steady."

She has to ask you.

Just like being tested for STD's. No guy ever asks, "Have you been tested?" first. The chick always asks first. Then we lie and say, "Yeah, yeah... probably."

NOTE TO WOMEN: I've been tested.

NOTE TO WOMEN: Probably.

Besides, it puts you in a weaker position if you ask her. Make her want you for herself. This is much more powerful than asking her. It should be her idea. (Though you can plant it in her head like a, um, plant.) You seduce a girl by making her think she is seducing you.

Make her work for it. We always put more value on things we work for than things that are given to us.

If it's easy to get, we think it's not worth much. Plus it's cool to make her go nuts. Like, refuse sex with her. Tell her you'll fool around but you won't have sex unless you are in a committed relationship. No guy does that! Why? Because they can't.

Show her you're different. Make her work for it! Make her jump through hoops for you. Better, make her jump on a trampoline -- naked.

Show her, tell her, and put images in her head of how amazing it would be to be in an exclusive relationship with you. Make her feel like her life is empty and boring now. But with you, it will be exciting and new.

How do you do this?

Ask her what she did last weekend. Whatever she says, make it sound ordinary. (But without insulting her. Be subtle, you stupid douche-bag!)


HER: I went out dancing with my girls.
YOU: That's nice. It's always nice to spend time with friends. Even if you do the same things you always do, it's still nice.

Then make it seem like YOU hold the key to exciting new adventures.

HER: What did you do?
YOU: Just chilled. Went camping. In the Grand Canyon. With Nick Lachey. And the Pope. It was cool. Nothing too fancy. Just kinda laying low because next weekend will be REALLY crazy. Got a 10 AM flight. To Mars. Should be chill.

Okay, that's overboard. Be honest. But accentuate.

Whatever you do, even if it is a regular normal thing -- make it sound like it's the best. Make it sound special and exciting. Make her WANT to be with you so she can share these crazy fun times with you.

HER: What did you do this weekend?
YOU: My buddies and I hit this bar. The BEST bar in the city. 100 international imported beers. (I know international and imported mean the same thing. But it sounds better. And... shut up!) And the people there are fascinating. I met this woman (NOTE: always make it a woman to make her jealous) from Germany and she was telling me about the best beer halls in Bavaria. I am totally going to Oktoberfest next year!

Then you can drop some hints.

YOU: I love enjoying life to the fullest. When I find a girl who can keep up with me (NOTE: Now she feels like she has to work for you to live up to your standards) I'm going to take her all over the world.
HER: Hey! What am I just a hook-up to you?
YOU: Yes. I actually can't stand you. (BIG SMILE) You think you're ready for a relationship?
HER: Well, yeah. I think so.
YOU: Hmmm. I think you're an awesome girl. I feel like we really connect. (NOTE: When girls say "I feel like we connect, they mean you have stuff in common. When guys say "I think we really connect" it means they want to connect their penis to her vagina.) I'll think about it. Why don't you sleep on it and if you still feel like you want to be in a relationship with me, call me tomorrow and we'll talk about it.

Now she will obsess all day and night about it. The more she thinks about you, the more she will want you. Like fast food.

You know McDingleberry's hamburgers are bad for you. But hear the commercial over and over and you think about it. The smell of delicious McDingleberry's. YOU HAVE TO HAVE IT!

I know this works because girls have done this to me. I've asked girls to be exclusive and they weren't sure about it. They didn't say yes right away. So it made me want it more. It's only natural. We tend to want to prove ourselves to those that reject us. It's psychology. But
sometimes we confuse it with love. Why?

Because people are idiots. Never forget that. We're all idiots. It says so in the bible. "We are all God's children." Modern Translation: We are idiots who don't know what we do or why.

It's the same psychology of fraternities. The reason you have to work so hard to get into a fraternity is because if they just let you in... you would quit the first time someone filled your room from floor to ceiling with Styrofoam packing peanuts.

But after you've spent weeks or months proving yourself to them, you've been putting a high value on the fraternity. Why else would you work so hard to get in?

Girls run this game with sex. If you hit it on the 1st night, you think it's not valuable. Even though she may be a great girl. But if she makes you work for it (and you DO actually work for it) then you are going through a pattern where you will value her highly.

So don't ask her to be exclusive. Ever. Make her ask you. And if she never does?

Then she's not the type of girl who you should be exclusive with because she's not ready for a relationship. She's not ready to be your official bangee.

Twisted Humor


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Dating Advice Man. Relationship Advice + Twisted Humor. Good Advice from HogWild. Jokes.  HOGWILD.NET  expert dating advice Relationship Advice.