Dating Advice Man: I'm too shy to ask out a girl. Dating Advice + Twisted Humor

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Hi Hog,

There is this girl I work with that I really like but I've never gone out with anyone because I'm really quiet and to myself. How would I ask her out?
- T

Hog's Relationship Advice:

If you're really quiet then you should ask her out in a quiet way. Like, whisper in her ear, "Hey you. I like you. I want to take you out for pizza."

This will totally not work.

First, why are you so quiet and to yourself?

You don't have to be loud and obnoxious, but you know the old saying, "The squeaky wheel gets to grease up the girl."

Sounds like you have a lack of confidence. Learning to be more confident is much more important than any particular chick you might be interested in at the moment. Because with confidence, you will meet lots of cool people.

Without confidence, people will not get a chance to see how awesome of a dude you are, because you are too shy to show them that side of your personality.

Same with this chick. Does she KNOW you are awesome? If she does, then you can ask her out. If a girl doesn't know how awesome you are, then you have to go about showing her first.

So how do you show a girl you are awesome?

#1 - Don't try too hard. That's not cool. Girls are attracted to confident guys. Trying too hard shows you are needy for her approval. Yuck.

To show a girl you are awesome you can do things like:

1 - walk tall and with purpose
2 - make her laugh
3 - drive a sports car and throw money out the window
4 - play guitar
5 - be a really interesting person
6 - teach her stuff about herself
7 - slam dunk in the big game
8 - arm wrestle a panda and win

Then, she has to show you how awesome SHE is. If her being pretty is enough to prove her awesomeness to you, then you are lame. Make her prove she is more than just a pretty face.

Once she knows you are awesome and she shows you that SHE is awesome... it's time to tell her that you like her.

You can say stuff like:

1 - You seem pretty awesome. I like to hang out with awesome people. Let's go get pizza on Friday. What time is good for you?

2 - You're a lot different from the girls I usually talk to. I think you're cool because you're not only pretty but you're also really good at Wiffle Ball. I like that. Let's get some pizza.

3 - I own a Hollywood Movie Studio and I think you'd be perfect to play the lead actress in my new film. But first, let's get some pizza.

WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T ASK HER OUT LIKE THIS... (and I know because I did
these lame things when I was in high school)

1 - ask her friend to ask her if she like-likes you and would want to go out for pizza.

2 - ask for her phone number so you can talk about the homework and then at the end of the conversation ask her if she wants to study together while eating pizza.

3 - write her a poem. Not only is this sappy but it's REALLY hard to find a word that rhymes with pizza.

In conclusion, the most important thing here is that you learn to be more confident. There are books you can get to help you with this.

Learning to be confident is the #1 most important skill in life.

Actually, it's #2 after learning how to eat the yummy hot cheese as it falls off your slice of pizza.

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