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Hi Hog,

I finally got the courage to tell somebody I like them, only to find that he liked me too. The thing is, the guy has a girlfriend.

They are always fighting and she talks horribly about him behind his back. Now me and him are flirting behind her back. He seems genuinely interested in me, but at the same time, he talks like he and his girlfriend will be together for a while.

Do you think he is interested in dating me or does it sound like he has no intention of
leaving his girlfriend?

- K

Hog's Relationship Advice:

I think he is interested in dating you AND he has no intention of leaving his girlfriend.

It is up to you to decide what kind of situation you want. If it weren't for women putting the smack down on guys, dudes would pile up
girlfriends of every flavor. Back in the day, guys would have multiple wives.

Personally, I don't agree with this. Because who would want MULTIPLE women yelling at you to take out the trash?

KING SOLOMON: Which one of my 700 wives will be pleasuring me this evening?
WIFE 001: Not I, oh King, for thou hath not mowed the royal lawn.
WIFE 217: Forgive me your Highness, but you hath not yet walked the dog.
WIFE 666: Oh hell, no! You said you was gonna buy me some new Dolce & Gabbana sandals. I got bunions walking on this hot sand in these Payless shoes! Bunions, motherf*cker!

Maybe this girl doesn't deserve this guy that you like. Okay. But if you want this guy to yourself, you have to show him that being with you will be more fun.

Be fun. Be flirty. But don't give him everything he wants. Make sure he knows that he can't have you until he breaks it off with his current chick.

OPTION 2: You want to be the "other woman."

This means you will allow him to stay with his chick but at the same time you will be hooking up with him on the sneak-tip.

This is a good option for you if you ALSO want to see other people.

WARNING: Choosing this option might get you labeled as a "ho's bag" or "slut-face slut-bag" or "whore-ass whore-face whore-bag."

*** WAYS TO GET THE GUY YOU LIKE TO BREAK UP WITH HIS STUPID GIRLFRIEND AND GET TOGETHER WITH YOU INSTEAD ***

1 - show him that you are awesome

* Look hot. But don't try too hard. Dress casual but have your make-up done nice and your hair looking beautiful.
* Smell irresistible. Wear a bit of perfume. Wash your armpits.
* When he talks, listen to his every word. Laugh at his jokes, then touch him on the arm.
* Just when the conversation gets to a high point -- leave. That way he is left wanting more.
* Be seen arm-in-arm with Johnny Depp.

2 - get him to talk about how stupid his girlfriend is
* reverse psychology works here.
YOU: Your girlfriend is really pretty.
HIM: uh, yeah. She's okay.

YOU: She seems really cool.
HIM: Not really. She's kind of annoying and her butt is flabby.

YOU: Your girlfriend seems really nice. You guys should get married.
HIM: Uh, I don't know.
YOU: I never plan on getting married. I just enjoy giving bl0w j0bs and making French Toast.
HIM: I love you.

NOTE: Don't really say that last part. Unless you mean it. And if you do mean it, you are amazing.

If this dude is always fighting with his girlfriend, it could be that he LIKES drama. He may not admit it, but he might like the adrenaline rush of arguing.

I used to be like that. Then I realized that was dumb.

Now before you go all nutty for this dude, make sure he is WORTHY. Is he REALLY all that?
Does he have the F.E.P.? (Future Earning Potential)
Does he make you laugh?
Does he have cool sneakers?

Because a lot of time us humans get hung up on one person when really there are MANY awesome people out there with whom you can be happy.

LAST RESORT: Get his girlfriend to break up with HIM.

How?

By sending a really hot girl to his house. Except this hot girl is actually a transvestite. Take a video of him holding hands with this "dude-woman."

Post this video on the internet where his girlfriend is sure to see it.

WARNING: There is a chance that he will break up with his girlfriend BUT instead of going for you he will fall in love with the "dude-woman." And then they will have a dude/dude-woman wedding. And the ring-bearer will be a dog dressed as a cat.

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