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What if the Presidential Race had to be decided Hip-Hop style? Al Gore raps! George Bush sports diamonds! 


What if the Presidential Race had to be decided Hip-Hop Style?



Debates would be in the format of ill freestyles laced straight from the tizzy of the dizzy. The winner is judged by who's most off the hizzy!

Question: How would you improve Health Care for all Americans?

Gore with the fat medallion

Yo! I gotta keep it real and I ain't frontin'
But Bush and Cheney keep stuntin' doin' nuttin'!
Hatin' on me with they wack-ass beats
911 is a joke, people dyin' in the streets
I'ma use the surplus to build more hospitals with E.R.'s
that other crew just wants to put you behind bars!
I'll put chrome rims on every ambulance
And approve medical cannabis 
yo I ain't tryin' to dis
but I'm keepin' it real, while they sippin' Chrys!
Vote for Big G, and the G ain't for Gipper!
Word to the streets and my best ho Tipper!

Bush keepin' in real

Let me come real with my rebuttal
Cuz that rhyme was more ass than a football huddle
When you were a Senator I was slammin' 40's
sniffin' blow in my bedroom, getting with shorties
house parties with freaks of every denomination
the FIRST all-inclusive party to unite this hip-hop nation
I'm conservative but I've got compassion
plus your busted gear is way out of fashion
I don't just talk tish I back it up
Ask them Death Row inmates they know wuzzup
I'm savin' Social Security for all the blue hairs
Improvin' education but who really cares?!
I'm jiggy with the jams, bling bling, cars tinted
I got the skills to be President in One Hot Minute!

Gore: Back that thang up! You didn't even answer the question!
Bush: Stop hatin' fool! 

Gore pumps the old skool flava

Bush's Video

Bush's video is RAW!

Budget Analysis
Gore with pie chart:
Peep this joint, a'ight?! 
We gots a surplus of dead presidents. Cash like woah. Mad Papers, see? How we gonna blow this wad? Vote for Big G Money and the D-Squad and we's gonna prop Medicare and Edu-macation. But on the D.L., those bustaz on the other side wanna cop diamonds and karats. Kill that!

Bush wearing a big gold elephant medallion:
My fellow Americans, ho's, bitches, skeezers, playaz, hustlaz, rapperz, we gots to unite and get this duckets! The D-Squad wants to roll up and thief yo' tish! You made that money, not them! They tryin' to stick you! Lampin' in the Hamptons watchin' Q-Tip videos spankin'. Those softeez don't understand we need National Defense. Pitbulls and AK's to spray. Mad drama e'ery day up in this piece! Ready to bang niggaz for phone time! 
Answering the question, who is more diverse?

Gore: Y'all know I got rednecks of every skin color in my click. We representin' every corner of the dirty South. From Hot-lanta, Georgia to Cashville, Tennessee! Plus you know we got that Hebrew Homey runnin' Lieutenant. We's collaboratin' like Method Man and Limp Bizkit on this joint. Yea, pimp THIS! 

Bush: Yo, you can't get mo' hardco' than Dick and Bush! Yo, we're like the United Colors of Benneton. I got Mexicans Niggaz, Bronx Niggaz like Colin Powell, Texas honkey-tonk Niggaz, and even elderly Niggaz like Cheney. All kinds of Niggaz!

Gear Fundraising
Gore: I got the ill garments to make the bitches' mouths water. Silk and rayon fabrics, butta leathers, denim, whateva. Got polos for the braggadocios 
Bush: Peep the new Air Bush sneaks.
Gore: Did your Daddy tie them for you?
Bush: Step off punk! You got jokes? You know I only sport velcro anyway.
On the Issue of Integrity
: On the real, I'm keepin' it real. Ain't no one realer than me, REALLY!

Bush: This is real, word to the real, I stayin' true to the realness, nah mean? 
Straight up Diss Competition/ The Mudslangin' Event
: George W. Bush ain't tish! He's faker than Britney Spears' turntables. So get your lips off my mic and bow down to the master of lyrical kung fu, Big G Money!

Bush: Ain't nobody feelin' that G-Dummy! We all know you flipped the script takin' bank from the Chinese. The people want a man who's gonna keep his rhymes tight. Your rhymes is as tight as Queen Latifah's ass!

Tipper ain't got no back like that!

9am, Bush is already trizzed.

Bush be frontin'

Now THAT's what I call a Campaign! Now that you know the REAL DEAL, you can vote intelligently.



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