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614 Easy Things Girls Can Do to Save the Environment

Earth Day Jokes + Earth Day Twisted Humor

When you ask people, Do you care about saving the environment?:

97% of women say, "Yes", while only
26% of men say, "Yeah, sure, kind of."

You girls claim to care more, but you girls are all talk!

Here are 614 easy things you girls can do to protect the environment:

* Only wear thong underwear

That's right. Granny panties are a waste of the earth's precious natural resources of cotton, silk, and lace. Less is more.

Or if you REALLY care about making me horny -- I mean the environment -- you wouldn't wear underwear at all!

* Shower with your sister

We need to conserve water. So please, share our limited supply of water with your sister or cousin or mom (if she is still hot.)

Now, it's one thing to SAY you save water in this way. But can you prove it?

Please send all pictures of you saving water to hogwild@hogwild.net

Thank you.

* Hitchhike

Why are you using so much fuel? Girls don't have to drive! That's why God gave you those 2 squeezy things in your shirt.

Now put that pretty little thumb high in the air!

NOTE: Never get into any of the following vehicles:

1 - A van with no windows
2 - A pick-up truck
3 - An 18 wheeler
4 - A Lincoln Navigator blaring rap music
5 - A Honda Civic that is extraordinarily low to the ground

This pretty much makes the "safe-list" a school bus and the sidecar of a motorcycle.

* Stop using the microwave

You call that dinner, woman?! Consume less electricity by not using that evil radiation machine when you're cookin' your man a meal.

* Dance naked more often

We need to find a clean reusable source of energy. Well, we already have it.

It's called lust.

We can put guys in a giant hamster wheel. And you girls will dance around all naked while we run after you, thus turning the giant wheel, creating enough electricity to power 12 New York Cities for an entire decade.

I've built the giant human hamster wheel. Are you girls ready to dance?
 

* Please look up at me while you are pleasuring me "down there."

This has nothing to do with the environment. It's just a request.

Thank you.

 

* Move to a big city

Since all you chicks started moving out of the city, they had to cut down all the trees and kick out the wildlife to build new suburbs and Wal-Marts.

Guys go where the chicks are. If you girls could all agree to move to 25 major cities, all the guys would follow. It would work just like those radio commercials for the dance clubs:

WOMEN MOVE-IN FREE BEFORE 10 O'CLOCK! AND GUYS ARE JUST $25,000!

* Stop telling us all the boring details about your day at work.

All that hot air is causing global warming.

Every time you start to bitch about Kathy in Accounting, the ice glaciers melt just a little bit more.

YOU: You won't believe what happened at work today! Rita, the little ho's bag who BLAH BLAH BLAAAAAAAAAAAH...

YOUR BOYFRIEND: Baby, I'd love to listen to your incredibly angry 30 minute monologue about people and events that are of no interest to me while I'm trying to unwind from a long day, but... please... think of those poor Penguins on the South Pole.

There you have it girls! Do your part to save the environment!

Now, if you'd please undress, I'm going to switch on this dance music and hop on in this giant hamster wheel.

Fun Earth Day Activities for Children: Draw a Radioactive Turkey. 

More Funny HogWild Rants and Jokes

Now go watch my Expert Dating Advice videos! Woo-hoo!