Hey, this is a classy Oscar Awards Party Drinking Game. So absolutely no puking. In the living room.

NOTE: I do not condone drinking games. This is purely for entertainment purposes, mainly my own. If you actually attempt to follow these rules you will probably have an awesome fun time. And then die.

Every time:

- Someone thanks God/the Lord/Creator/Jesus/L. Ron Hubbard... drink 1 Bloody Mary.

- Brokeback Mountain wins an Oscar Award... daintily sip 1 Cosmopolitan.

- Someone thanks their Agent... take in 10% of your drink.

- King Kong wins an Oscar Award... chug a beer, crush the can, beat your chest, and howl like an ape.

- Memoirs of a Geisha wins an Oscar Award... slurp a glass of Japanese Sake and make some crude joke about liking to bomb HER Pearl Harbor.

- You see Jessica Alba... adjust your boner. (This has nothing to do with the game, since I know you'll be doing it anyway.)
 

- They show Tom Cruise... drink that crazy-ass Kool-Aid that he drinks.

- Host Jon Stewart tells a joke at the expense of the President... drink 1 Bushwacker.

- Host Jon Stewart tells a joke at the expense of the Vice President... drink 1 Fuzzy Dick.

- Munich wins an Oscar Award... drink 1 Car Bomb.

- You see a woman in a red dress on stage... drink 1 Red Bull and Vodka.

- You see a woman in a blue dress on stage... drink 1 Blue Martini.

- You see a woman in a white dress on stage... drink 1 White Russian.

NOTE: If you're bootleg like me... replace the Red Bull with Red Stripe, the Blue Martini with Labatt Blue and the White Russian with White Wine... from a box.

- The movie Hustle & Flow is mentioned... slam a 40 ounce bottle of Colt 45 Malt Liquor.

- Capote wins an Oscar Award... drink 1 Flaming Dr. Pepper. Emphasis on the Flaming.

- You see Scarlett Johannson's jigglers jiggle... do a Jell-o shot.

- Someone cries while accepting their speech... drink 1 O'Douls. Because fake tears deserve fake beers.

NOTE: You are not allowed to puke in this game, unless they show Lindsay Lohan.