I'm faithful to my girlfriend. But last night I was
severely tempted. This super hot girl approaches me. That never happens! And she
kisses me on the lips! And she wants more but I say, "I would love to but I have
How do I know if I should really be with my girlfriend? Sometimes I feel like
maybe I should go for a girl who is hotter. Or a girl with a better family
- E in New Jersey
Hog's Relationship Advice:
congratulations on having the strength to turn down a hot chick!
Many dudes would have had this conversation with their pen!s:
DUDE: This girl is hot! But I don't want to hurt my girlfriend.
PEN!S: What girlfriend?
DUDE: You know, the supportive girl who cares about me.
PEN!S: Is she here right now?
DUDE: No, but...
PEN!S: She's probably out playing jump-rope with 2 huge d!cks.
DUDE: What does that mean?
PEN!S: It means you should go for this hot chick in front of you!
There will always be temptation. And if you one day break-up with your
girlfriend, you will regret all the "could've/should've girls." But,
say, if you're going to be in a relationship, be in it 100%.
If you don't want to commit, then learn the art of dating. But don't
lure a girl into a false sense of security only to hurt her. I'm not
telling you this for your sake. But for my sake. Because I'll probably
date your girlfriend next and she'll be all messed up in the head and
paranoid. It's like you left her with an Emotional STD.
Sure she looks normal on the outside, but every so often she'll erupt
with symptoms like insecurity and jealousy.
So how do you know if a girl should really be your girlfriend? Should
you go for a girl who is hotter? Or a girl with a better family?
There will ALWAYS be a hotter girl. If you look hard enough there will
ALWAYS be something "better" somewhere else. That means you're not ready
No girl is perfect. (With one exception... I love you Wonder Woman!)
Should you be with this particular girl who is your girlfriend?
Simple compatibility checklist:
1 - Do you share the same core values? 2 - Does she make your inner child feel safe and happy? 3 - Is the sex good? 4 - Do you laugh together? 5 - Is she RFA?
OK, here's how to do the checklist...
1 - Core Values These are your personal ethics that never change. These values guide
your daily actions. You have these whether you realize it or not. Some
examples of core values are Loyalty, Fairness, and "Bro's before Ho's."
If her core values are different, then you two will find big differences
that can't be overcome. For example, some people value Family much more
than others. Some value God more than others. Some value BBQ chicken
wings much more than others.
NOTE: Do not judge my core values just because they are more delicious
2 - Does she make you inner child feel safe and happy? I've talked about this a lot already.
Read this to find out what I'm
talking about -- the part where I talk about the amazing book The Journey
from Abandonment to Healing by Susan Anderson.
One example is if your inner child needs a girl who is
not likely to leave and you choose a flight-risk, you will always be on-edge and unhappy.
DUDE: Inner child, does this new girl make you feel safe?
INNER CHILD: I think she's very nice but I'm scared.
PEN!S: Shut up you stupid brat! Get the puuuuu$$y!
INNER CHILD: Aaaaaaah! Who is that?!
DUDE: Sorry inner child, I'll beat him later.
3 - Sex Sex is very important. We can all pretend it's not but God invented sex
for a reason. And He made it almost as good as ice cream for a
reason, too. You must be sexually compatible. That's why for me I know I
need a girl who appreciates intense sex lasting up to 20 seconds.
NOTE TO GIRLS: Just kidding! Girls always take me seriously when I make
jokes like that.
ME: Sorry that was only 20 seconds.
HER: But it felt like an hour!
ME: Because it was so hot?
HER: Because it was so boring!
4 - Laughing When you have a girlfriend, you will be spending every day with her.
Plus on the phone. And email. And chat. And she'll invade your thoughts.
And your dreams. And she'll leave you notes in your underwear drawer. So
you'd better enjoy your time together. If you don't make each other
laugh, you're in for a stressful time. Laughter releases stress and
sometimes gas. My favorite girls are the ones who laugh easily and make
NOTE TO GIRLS: It's not good if the only
time you laugh with your man is while he's n@ked.
5- Is she RFA? RFA = Really. F*cking. Annoying. NEVER date a RFA girl. I don't care how hot
she is or how awesome she is in every other way. RFA girls will make
your skin crawl and your blood boil and she'll embarrass you in social
situations. Guys know when a girl is RFA within 10 minutes. But many of
you women don't know if you are RFA.
Here is self-test for you girls:
1 - When around guys, do they often sigh deeply while closing their eyes and
shaking their heads?
2 - When you speak, do men rubs their temples and crack their necks?
3 - Do men want to get you n@ked, spank you, tie you down, and pull your
hair in every location BUT the bedroom?
There will always be temptation to cheat for the sake of variety or
ego-boost. But if you are 100% into your girlfriend you will be able to
turn down other girls pretty easily. It just won't be worth it. Of
course the best solution is to find a girl who enjoys the company of
other nude women. Then you go out together and find a girl who will
amuse the 2 of you. It's a real bonding experience. Heh heh.
DUDE: My new girlfriend is amazing. I will never feel the need to cheat
because she's cool enough to share another girl in the bedroom!
PEN!S: YES! YES! YES!
INNER CHILD: 2 girls? I feel intimidated and not sure if this is right.
What if they...
DUDE & PEN!S: SHUT UP YOU STUPID BRAT!