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We are being oppressed by the Elderly

dr martin luther king jr

by me, HogWild

   


Hog's mom approves of this article.

My favorite American of All-Time is Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. He embodies the spirit of what I believe it MEANS to be an American. Things are messed up, go change it. Donít take no for an answer. Get it done, never give up. NEVER GIVE UP! And he did it. And the most admirable thing is, he did it all without busting a cap in some fat honkeyís ass!

I mean, dude had a right to be at least mildly p!ssed off when the bastards bombed his house and tried to kill his family. But no, he countered violence and hatred with peace and understanding. I could not do that.

Some nub in a pointy white hat throws a grenade in MY house, Iím gonna do more than organize a protest march. King had a higher purpose, he was a man who deeply believed in God. Because he KNEW he would be killed. Not like the Pope who supposedly believes in Heaven yet has to have 16,000 body guards and wears a bullet-proof yarmulke on his skull. Plus he's got the tricked-out bomb-proof Pope-mobile:

Pope-Mobile
 
Dr. King is an American Hero! I canít believe some nubs still donít think he deserves a Holiday! If thereís a day set aside to celebrate fathers, then surely Dr. King deserves a day!

NOTE TO FATHERS: You deserve Father's Day. I'm just saying, if you get a special day so should Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Letís compare: MLK fought for equality, freedom, and justice. Dads fight at the nudie bar. MLK organized mass sit-ins. Dads sit-in every weekend watching football in their air-conditioned skivvies. MLK inspired a generation. Most Dads smell like they have PERSPIRED for a generation. So if Dads gets a Day, so does MLK.
 
But still some fools are like, "he only helped Negroes so they could become African-Americans." Those same idiots donít realize the courage of Rosa Parks. Theyíre like, "She didnít get up because she was just another lazy colored." Fools! Dr. King is a hero! An AMERICAN hero! All the great ones are known by 3 initials... FDR, RFK, JFK, MLK, REO Speedwagon.

I get so inspired by him that I even wrote a poem. Here goes, AHEM...

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. had a dream
Then some A-hole shot him.
The End.

Why is it that the great ones have to get assassinated? Abe Lincoln, John F. Kennedy, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther King, John Lennon... They get killed and look who we get left with: John F Kennedy dead. TED Kennedy still alive! Martin Luther King dead. DON King still alive! John Lennon dead. YOKO ONO still alive!

And there is STILL prejudice against certain groups:

big bird

My Hogs and Hogettes, I strive to live my life like Reverend King... See, there are plenty of Hog-haters out there. Hatiní the Hog because of my success. Hatiní the Hog because their girl wants to meet me. Hatiní the Hog because I insulted their mother on the internet. But like Dr. King, I LOVE my enemies. I LOVE YOU! Because you INSPIRE me. Me and my Hogs will March of Washington! Yes, I will lead The MILLION MORON MARCH!

Weíll promote safe sex by putting a giant condom on the Washington Monument. Weíll all take turns sitting on the Lincoln Memorial, telling Santa Lincoln what we want for Christmas. Weíll stage a sit-in our seats a Washington Nationals baseball game demanding to know how a team can call themselves the Nationals when 50% of their players are international -- from other countries like the Dominican Republic and South Korea and Iowa.

Then finally, like the great Dr. Martin Luther King, we will DEMAND our God given rights! No longer will we have to GET UP and GIVE UP our seat if we choose to sit in the front of the bus! Do we not DESERVE this seat?

No longer will we suffer the indignity of having to "please give up this seat for the Elderly or Handicapped"! The Elderly have been oppressing us for too long! I have a Dream!

I have a Dream that one day this nation will RISE UP and not arrest people for smoking weed! If a man wants to become a pot-head and live in his parents' basement until he's 37 -- thatís his right!

We hold these boobs to be self-evident, that all boobs were created equal, yet some are saggy and some are perky. Some bounce and some sway. Some have big eyes, some have cute, little eyes that seems to be calling OUT to you, HOOT HOOT!

I have a Dream that one day in the Hills of Georgia, the sons of former slave-owners will stop having sex with their sisters.

I have a Dream that Lynda Carter, dressed as Wonder Woman, will tie me up in the Lasso of Truth and make me lick chocolate cake off of her high-heel red boots, I HAVE A DREAM!

wonder woman

And sometimes I have a Dream that Iím drowning in a river and my pants are soaking wet from the waist down!

NOTE TO SELF: I need to stop drinking so much water before I go to bed so I do not have that Dream.

Let freedom ring. And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring -- when we let it ring from every chat room and every MySpace page, from every blog and every text message, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children -- PC users and Mac users, Yankees fans and Red Sox fans, Screamo Kids and Emo Kids -- will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old B.I.G. spiritual: "If you got a gun up in your waist please don't shoot up the place... 'cause I see some ladies tonight who should be havin' my baby...... Bay-bee!"

Thank you.

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Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. pictures. We are being oppressed by the elderly. I have a dream... about Wonder Woman. MLK jokes, funny pictures. Twisted Humor.
HOGWILD.NET  expert dating advice. helpful and hilarious videos!

| EXPERT DATING ADVICE | DATING ADVICE | DATING COACH | MEMBERS | STORE | FUNNY PICTURES | FUNNY RANTSCOMEDY VIDEOS | DATING ADVICE MAN | CARTOONS | CHATSGAMES | LINKS | COMEDY SHOWS | CONTACT | JOIN NOW |