Stock
Market Tips. Candy Apple or Rotten Apple. iPod, Commodore 64, Apple IIe. Stock Market Advice. Serious Stock
Market Tips + Seriously Twisted Humor. |
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Professional Dating Advice videos by HogWild! ***
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Serious Stock Market Tips + HogWild's Seriously Twisted Humor HOG: We've got Evan the Stock Market Maven to teach us ordinary nubs how to make money in the Stock Market. And we've got me to make stupid ass jokes. Go ahead, Evan, teach us about the Stock Market.
EVAN: Mmmmmm Apple. "Hello my
name is Steve Jobs and I am a creative genius. I created a
phenomenon which people think is a growing fad but I'm banking my
money that it isn't a fad -- and even it isn't well...I'm rich
biatch." EVAN: No,
but seriously when you think of Apple, you think of the iPod, which
was brought to us a couple of years ago.
It looks like a little tooth. It comes in 3 different colors: white tooth, yellow gold tooth, and platinum tooth. You change the songs with your tongue. The only bad thing
is if the battery dies, to replace it, you have to get a root canal. And no, the phone which is out now is not by Apple, it just has Apple iTunes capability. The phone they are going to come out with is going to be made by Apple. I'm not sure about the colors, but I heard you'll be able to turn it into a Transformer. Cool!!!! HOG: I think you're getting our roles mixed up. YOU give the intelligent stock market advice and I give the dumb jokes. Keep it up, and I'll start making stock recommendations. And that's bad because until yesterday every time you mentioned an IRA, I thought, "Why does Evan keep talking about my Uncle?" EVAN: Let me
ask you a question. Raise your hand if you have an iPod? Yeah,
that's what I thought. HOG: Maybe I can use this idea for MY company. Each time one of your friends goes too far with a dumb joke, you can say, "Man, you're going HogWild!" Yeah! So if it's a serious situation, someone can say, "This is heavy. I wish somebody would go HogWild." EVAN: Now this product has made the company huge profits and there are critics out there who say they cannot keep up with the current sales rate. However, Apple has a gazillion new customers and fans because of this phenomenon which pack the stores every day. They are
buying more Macs than ever -- and now that Apple has released new
software to enable Windows to run on their computers -- there
is no reason why people wouldn't buy an Apple computer.
Yeah, what! The case is open because I got 3 hard drives crammed in there. The fan whirrs like
a helicopter and my keyboard is full of bits of Doritos.
I'm not getting' no wussy Mac! Even if you believe that only girls buy Apples then you should run to the store to get one if you are a guy. Let me give you a tip... Buy an Apple laptop, bring it to Starbucks, sit next to the girl with the same laptop and I guarantee you'll have a nice conversation. HOG: It's
Evan the Dating Maven! HOG: There you have it! Straight from the mouth of Evan the Stock Market/Comedy/Dating/Lawn Darts/Bicycle Repair/Cheese making Maven! EVAN: Okay, that's enough. To speak with Evan, email him directly: evan1002@gmail.com Stock Market Tips: How do I know when to Sell? Martha Stewart, Axl Rose & a Time Machine. Stock Market Tips: Want to be in the Stock Market? Then put down the Appetizers.
More Funny HogWild Rants and Jokes Watch my helpful and hilarious Expert Dating Advice videos! |
Dating Advice! Expert dating advice videos, your dating advice questions answered by HogWild! Professional Dating Advice videos that will help you get the awesome relationship you deserve! Expert Dating Advice Videos by me -- HogWild -- professional dating advice: helpful and hilarious. |
Stock
Market Tips. Candy Apple or Rotten Apple. iPod, Commodore 64, Apple IIe. Stock Market Advice. Serious Stock
Market Tips + Seriously Twisted Humor.
|
| EXPERT DATING ADVICE | DATING ADVICE | DATING COACH | MEMBERS | STORE | FUNNY PICTURES | FUNNY RANTS | COMEDY VIDEOS | DATING ADVICE MAN | CARTOONS | CHATS | GAMES | LINKS | COMEDY SHOWS | CONTACT | JOIN NOW | |