♥ Relationship Problems: Feeling Resentful Because I Give Too Much. Expert Dating Advice


Relationship Problems: Feeling Resentful Because I Give Too Much

by me, HogWild


A common relationship problem is when one partner feels resentful.

"I've been doing and doing and you don't give back! You're not a give-backer! It's supposed to be I scratch your back and you scratch my mine! Not I scratch your back and you scratch your ass!

"You're taking me for granted! You SHOULD be taking me to the Awesome Store and buying me a freakin' trophy!"


People give in different ways. You might not value THEIR gifts the same way.

Maybe you give the gift of flowers and they give the gift of patience. Or the gift of being in great shape for you. Maybe that means nothing to you but you think your flowers should be cherished.


Your partner might very well be selfish. OK, then you're stupid to keep giving to them. Your partner might not really WANT what you're giving. In which case, you're clueless. Your partner might think what you're giving is nice but not worth the effort you're putting into it, in which case, stop it.

But even bigger than all that, ask yourself, are you giving to get? Are you manipulating?

Giving without expecting something back can make you feel good. Giving with silent expectation will make you feel bitter and unappreciated.

YOU: OK, I'll spend all weekend at that dumb event with those stupid people I don't like but I expect back massages and oral delight! If I don't get it, then I'll be mad! But I won't say anything out loud about my expectations. Mwu-hahaha!

If you want something in return, state that upfront. Your partner can not read your mind even on the "simplest" things.

If you cook for your partner and you expect in return they will set the table and clean the dishes, you must say this.

YOU: But it's obvious!

No, it's not!

Maybe in their mind it's a fair trade that they worked hard at their job to pay for those groceries and that's their contribution.

Is that fair? You two have to decide as a couple what is "fair" and what makes you both feel loved and appreciated.

Here's how to do that...

This is taken from my Premium Members section where I post my new videos.

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- Some people give and give then complain, "I'm so unappreciated!" That's because you're giving to get. It's your fault.

You're not a saint. You're trying to get something with your gifts. So it's like you're paying money to a merchant for a product when you have no idea of its price or if it's even for sale!

- If what you're giving feels like work, then tell them exactly what you want in exchange. Or know this work is worth it because it's strengthening your relationship.

- Beware of this dangerous TRAP that many giving people fall into when they're in a relationship...

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♥ Relationship Problems: Feeling Resentful Because I Give Too Much. Expert Dating Advice
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