Kobe Bryant pictures, jokes: Kobe Bryant is the best player ever named after a steak. He's much better than Salisbury Johnson. Funny Rants,
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The Best Player Ever Named After a Steak
JUSTIN: Two things come to mind whenever someone mentions Kobe Bryant, basketball and controversy. NOTE: *^$$# = a triangle shaped zone in the female groin area. OTHER NOT-AS-FAMOUS ATHLETES NAMED AFTER STEAKS 1 - Salisbury Johnson Hey, I think it’s better to name your kid after a steak than after your favorite alcoholic beverage. Right, Brandy? Margarita? BUD? JUSTIN: Don't forget little Schlitz! HOG: I don't know anybody named Schlitz. You have a f%*$ed up redneck Texas family, dude. I feel bad for little Hammy. He doesn't have a fighting chance! I'm Jewish and one thing I'm very proud of is that us Jewish people don't name our kids after drinks. You'll never hear a name like Margarita Steinberg. Maybe because Jewish alcohol doesn't sound cool as a name. Like, how can you name your kid, Manischewitz? Although there is a chance that Jewish comedian Woody Allen will make a baby with his Asian wife Soon-Yi and name the baby Mai Tai Allen. JUSTIN: Originally drafted by the Charlotte Hornets, Kobe Bryant was traded to the Los Angeles Lakers with whom he has played for 11 seasons. HOG: Awww! You'd better get those kinds of jokes out of your system now. Because you can't talk like that around little Hammy! HA HA! JUSTIN: Kobe was cleared of all the charges but he was dropped by his entire roster of corporate sponsors lowering his net worth from about half a bazillion dollars. HOG: Look, lot of husbands who are on the road traveling for work will hook-up with girls in the hotel. But they’re not a World Famous 6’6” 220 pound athlete with a beautiful smile and nice buns. Er, ahem. Anyhoo. What I’m saying is, the guy did something sleazy but not all that unusual. Then the girl did something sleazy but not that unusual by trying to accuse him of a backcourt violation. Next time Kobe Bryant gets lonely on the road he needs to do what all DEDICATED husbands do... Order naughty movies on TV. So girls, don’t complain about your man looking at sex acts. That could be what keeps him from performing them! JUSTIN: Thank you Reverend HogWild. HOG: You're welcome. I look forward to seeing you, your wife, and little Hammy Sanders at services next week. HOG: Eeew! No wonder that guy has to mop the floor all the time! HA HA HA! JUSTIN: Then on January 22nd Kobe Bryant torched the Toronto Raptors like he was Jason McElwain, scoring 81 points and coming within 19 points of Wilt Chamberlain's untouchable record. JUSTIN: From that point on most experts agree that Kobe has been the best player in the NBA but has just never got the votes for MVP. HOG: That award goes to most VALUABLE player, not most BEST player. Uh, grammar sucks. Yeah, so, now Kobe is making his TEAM better instead of just his stats. HOG: Your Dallas Mavericks should attempt to get Kobe Bryant. To get Kobe, Dallas can trade to Los Angeles: Dirk Nowitzki, the Renaissance Tower, and the Cowboys. I think this would be the only trade L.A. would consider. You get Kobe Bryant, they get an NFL team. And a skyscraper. And a big German dude. You've got to make this trade! It's the only way that Dallas can win an NBA Championship in little Hammy's lifetime! Want a kick-ass comedy show for your college or party? Email me for details.
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Kobe Bryant pictures, jokes: Kobe Bryant is the best player ever named after a steak. He's much better than Salisbury Johnson. Funny Rants,
Dirty jokes + Twisted Humor. |
| EXPERT DATING ADVICE | DATING ADVICE | DATING COACH | MEMBERS | STORE | FUNNY PICTURES | FUNNY RANTS | COMEDY VIDEOS | DATING ADVICE MAN | CARTOONS | CHATS | GAMES | LINKS | COMEDY SHOWS | CONTACT | JOIN NOW | |