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HOW TO RELIEVE STRESS DURING EXAMS... the HogWild Way!

Exams suck.

NOTE: Except when the exam is a physical and your doctor is a totally smoking hot member of the opposite sex.

NOTE TO HOMOS3XUALS: Hello.

Exams cause stress. Lots of it. Makes your muscles tense. Your mouth dry. Your stomach tied in knots. You can even develop a twitch. But at the end, if you did well, you feel so relieved. What I'm saying is that Exams are a lot like losing your virginity.

NOTE: the main difference being that you don't immediately want to take another exam.

So here it is, How to Relieve Stress During Exam the HogWild Way!

* DANCE AROUND TO MUSIC

Let out your pent-up aggression with some energetic dancing! Crank up the music! Bounce around your room! Get n@ked! Open the curtains! Let everybody watch!

NOTE TO DUDES: Please ignore this suggestion.

* FOR GIRLS ONLY:

A great stress-reliever for girls is to B&M. (Bitch & Moan) This is the #1 hobby of most girls I know. So call up that guy who really likes you even though you never let him squeeze your boobies and B&M all night!
He'll brag to his friends that he was talking to you all night! After you get all that off your chest, go straddle that hot guy who flicks his cigarette ashes in your hair.

* FOR GUYS ONLY :

A great stress reliever for guys is to TTP. (Tug the Plug) Pull up a photo of that stupid b!tch who won't let you squeeze her boobies even though you listen to all her B&M all night and imagine doing nasty things to her while slapping yourself in the "head" so hard you give your d!ck brain-damage.

* TAKE A HUGE DUMP

My personal favorite. Feel like the world is on your shoulders? Then lighten your load. Take a study break from Chemistry to release some noble gases of your own.

* DO YOGA

Yoga will relax your muscles and increase your circulation bringing oxygen to your body. And it looks hot.

NOTE TO DUDES: Don't do yoga. Yoga is g@y.

ACCEPTABLE EXERCISES FOR GUYS:

1 - Lifting heavy things.
2 - Running. But only if it involves hacking through dense forests with your machete while being chased by the Viet Cong or Robots or... Communist Robots.
3 - Boning.

* HELP THE HOMELESS

Contributing to those less fortunate will make you feel better. So help the homeless by criticizing them. They are probably where they are because no one has had the courage to "tell it to them straight."

Our  society really coddles these people, allowing them to sleep on our comfortable sidewalks and eat from our bountiful public garbage cans. It's up to you to inform this person of their mistakes and how truly  worthless they are. You can be the dad they never had.

* LIMIT YOUR CONSUMPTION OF ALCOHOL

...to 3 or 4 beers per hour. Everyone knows that alcohol dehydrates the body, causing even more stress. Lucky for you, beer is mostly water. So be sure to drink plenty of beer to compensate for those other beers.

* DON'T TAKE TOO MUCH CAFFEINE

Caffeine makes you jittery. As does lack of sex. So if you must pop caffeine pills or drink coffee, be sure to "slap the sloppies" to counteract the effect.

WARNING: If you take too much caffeine and slap your own sloppy to naughty pictures, there is a 72% chance that your eyeballs will pop out of your head.

* AROMATHERAPY

The relaxing scent of essential plant oils will relax your senses. And make you g@y.

For guys, the only acceptable aromatherapy is farting. Either way, you'll feel better.

* LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE
And lucky for you, with hogwild.net you will NEVER overdose! Not a chance!