Hog's mom does NOT approve of this article.

On to the next round of March MILF Madness! (If you missed, it's here is Part 1.)

We start with the Top 16 hot celebrity moms. Here are the brackets:

In this article we'll look at the MILFs on the right-side...

First match-up, Heidi Klum vs. Elizabeth Hurley:

As most of you know, I'm Jewish. And I'm still mad about World War II. That's why it's my goal to have sex with 6 million German girls. And disappoint every one! HA HA HA! And I'd like to start with my German fantasy girl, Heidi Klum.

Heidi Klum is still smoking hot. And she has 3 kids! She's a MILF times three! Here is classic Klum:

But is she still hot TODAY?

Um, yes!

And I like that she doesn't just go for guys with good looks!

OK, we all know she is married to Seal, but did you know she also has a baby with THIS man!:

That's Flavio Briatore. See you don't have to be Brad Pitt to get girls. You can just be a regular rich guy! :)

Oh Heidi! Oh Heidi! I guess that's the only drawback to Heidi Klum. Screaming out her name in bed sounds funny to me. OH HEIDI! I'm gonna spank your little @ss, Heidi!

This is a good match-up because she goes up against another model, Elizabeth Hurley.

In one of the greatest performances in the history of Motion Pictures, Elizabeth Hurley portrays a French Maid in the artistic triumph, "Bedazzled."

OK, here is where I'm going to lose all the guys reading this article:

Oh. My. GOD! Since only the girls are left reading this with me (and I know I lost some of you, too :) I will say this to you... You see Elizabeth Hurley in the maid outfit with the strawberry? Do that.

All the time. That's sexy as hell. You will get a man to do whatever you want. But remember, use a strawberry or banana or peach -- a SEXY fruit. Don't try this with a pomegranate.

But is Elizabeth Hurley still hot TODAY?

Um, HELL yes!

She's still got the sexy fruits. Melons! HA HA HA!

NOTE TO SELF: Man, I have a tough job. :)

I'm exhausted. So let's try to get through these other ridiculously hot babes and be done with it, OK?

Melania Trump vs. Jennifer Garner

On the one hand, Melania Trump is another woman who doesn't care at all about looks. As long as you're are a billionaire. But what's nice about Jennifer Garner is that she doesn't care about personality. As long as you're a multi-millionaire. Hmm... this one is gonna be tough.

Here is Melania with Trump's money-bags:

And here is Jennifer Garner:

Jennifer Garner is so beautiful. But this isn't a Mom I'd like to DATE contest, it's Moms I'd like to F%$^! And %@^! And maybe even *&#% @#*&# @^^!!!

Next up Denise Richards vs. Katie Holmes:

Here is Katie the cutie:

One big thing in Katie's favor is that she completed the New York Marathon. The girl has stamina! So she's less likely to lay there like dead roadkill in bed.

NOTE TO GIRLS WHO LAY THERE LIKE ROADKILL: Move around! At least twitch or something!

But again this is not a cute contest. This a MILF contest. So how can we deny Denise Richards?

Now, Denise is losing hot points in a hurry. But she's still hotter than Katie Holmes in a purely sexual way. Plus, every guy wants to sha-boink a Bond girl.

And the final match-up for this round is Angelina Jolie vs. Demi Moore.

Somehow Angelina Jolie STILL looks great even though she is pregnant with her 2nd Pitt-spawn and she runs around after her 133 adopted children.

And here is Demi Moore:

Demi Moore is still hot but she's not hotter than Angelina Jolie. I don't know how Demi Moore does it, but somehow she looks younger than she did 10 years ago. Lots of actresses have plastic surgery but they don't look as good as she does. I think Demi has found the Fountain of Youth... and it's in Ashton Kutcher's pants. Awwww!!! HA HA HA!

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