NFL jokes. Football jokes. Brett Farve is the Eli Manning of Quarterbacks. Funny Rants, Dirty jokes + Twisted Humor.  
HOGWILD.NET  expert dating advice. helpful and hilarious videos!

Expert Dating Advice


Expert Dating Advice  
Funny MySpace Pictures
Funny Rants / Dirty Jokes
Comedy Videos
Dating Advice Man
Cartoons Twisted Humor
Comedy Shows
Contact/Email Me
Free Newsletter
Dating Advice Videos 
 Subscribe in a reader
Professional Dating Advice
Crazy T-Shirts
Dating Advice

Hog's Deals & Discounts
Poop Jokes Share on Facebook

New Stuff

Subscribe to RSS headline updates from:
Powere d by FeedBurner

Brett Favre is the Eli Manning of Quarterbacks


Justin Sanders


Justin Sanders with HogWild

JUSTIN: Well, as many of you have probably seen the humiliating video where I had to cheer for the NY Giants, you probably know that the Giants beat my Cowboys in what will be forever known to me as the “Cheer” Game. Did it suck? Yes. Was I pissed? Hell yes. Will I get my revenge?… Oh yeah, just wait 'til next year!

HOG: That game was so embarrassing for you, even your proud Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders were ashamed of their team:

dallas cowboys cheerleaders

JUSTIN: As for next week, I think it’s time that we look at one of the greatest quarterbacks ever to play the game, none other than Eli Mann…ha ha, I couldn’t even finish writing his name without laughing, no I’m talking about the one and only Brett Favre!

HOG: Dude, we all know Elinterception Manning can’t compare to Brett Favre or even Tony Romo. Which is why it was so awesome (and humiliating for you) that Eli out-performed Mr. Jessica Simpson!

tony romo jessica simpson

JUSTIN: Now while most people remember Brett Favre in his role as Cameron Diaz's ex-boyfriend in the hilarious movie “There’s Something About Mary” it's also a little known fact that Mr. Favre also plays football.

No I'm serious, I looked it up on the internet. Not only that, he's pretty good at it. Okay I'm being silly but it's only because I'm still bitter (and drunk) after the Cowboys-Giants game. Anyway, back to Brett Favre...

HOG: If it was actually possible for you to drink away the pain of the New York Giants upsetting your #1 seed Terrell Owens and the Dallas Cryboys, you would need to drink all the Tequila from your homeland of Mexico + all the alcohol from my homeland of the Bronx (Schlitz Malt Liquor). And maybe even toss back some of my kosher Manischewitz wine!

JUSTIN: And then some!

Coming out of Kiln, Mississippi, Brett Favre came from humble beginnings as an option quarterback at Hancock North Central High School. He excelled at Hancock but when Southern Mississippi offered him a scholarship they wanted him to play defensive back. Can you imagine if Favre had never played quarterback and instead played defensive back?

HOG: Can you imagine if a scrubby-ass quarterback and his underdog team whooped the @ss of the #1 seed team who beat them TWICE in the regular season? Can you imagine it?! HA HA HA!

JUSTIN: It'd be shocking, almost like the Jets winning 5 games in a season!

HOG: That hurts.

JUSTIN: Luckily the coaches came around let Brett play quarterback where he took over the starting position after the third game and not only overcame a vicious hangover but also engineered a two-touchdown come-from-behind victory. Now that's my kind of quarterback right there! The kind of guy who can pound 15 beers, nail the hottest chick at a party, vomit during pre-game warm ups and then come off the bench and throw two touchdowns.

HOG: Brett Favre is the David Wells of quarterbacks.

JUSTIN: When his college career was over, Farve was drafted by the Atlanta Falcons, who in a move that would typify the team’s future at quarterback, traded him to the Green Bay Packers for a first round pick. Atlanta used the pick for running back Tony Smith…ever heard of him? Me neither.

atlanta falcons

HOG: Wow! That’s a huge screw up! That’s up there with the Portland Trailblazers using their college pick to select Sam Bowie instead of Michael Jordan. Giving up Brett Favre? Wow. That’s like Megan Fox’s first boyfriend who dumped her to go out with some other chick. Oops!

megan fox

JUSTIN: Once Favre got to Green Bay, the legend was born. Favre's not only led the team to two Super Bowls in 17 seasons of play but has also won 3 consecutive MVP awards. Not bad for a quarterback that was drafted as a defensive back in college and diagnosed with the same degenerative hip condition that ended Bo Jackson’s career. Of course Brett never had a 250 pound linebacker rip his hip out of its socket like Jackson did.... Of course if it ever did happen it wouldn't be all bad for Favre since it'd mean that he'd probably get a life time supply of his favorite candy, Vicodin!

Low blow I know, but Favre's painkiller addiction back in ’96 is probably the only black mark that will ever show up on his impressive resume and it just goes to show that Brett knows how to party baby!

HOG: Addicted to painkillers? Brett Favre is the Rush Limbaugh of quarterbacks.

JUSTIN: Besides being a great leader Favre has always been known as a fierce competitor proven by the fact that he holds the NFL record for most completions, passing touchdowns and most consecutive starts currently at 245 and counting! On the other hand, he also holds the record for the most interceptions thrown but who cares he's BRETT FAVRE damn it!

HOG: The most Interceptions? Brett Favre is the Eli Manning of quarterbacks.

OK, THAT was uncalled for. Favre throws on practically every down, he’s bound to have a few misconnections. But he tosses enough touchdowns to make up for it, unlike Tony Romo who tosses Jessica Simpson’s salad instead of preparing for playoff games.

jessica simpson tony romo


HOG: Yes, he will be back on the couch watching the Dukes of Hazzard movie, telling Jessica how she was snubbed by the Academy.

JUSTIN: When it comes down to what makes Favre special, it is about more than the numbers. He’s also one of the most likeable players in the league. His teammates love him and his opponents respect him. Brett Favre is one of the best players ever to play the game. In other words, he's the only thing between Eli Manning and the Super Bowl!

HOG: I’m rooting for a Giants vs. Patriots Super Bowl. I want to see the NY/Boston rivalry extend from baseball to football. It used to exist in basketball, too. But that was before Jim Dolan & Isiah Thomas turned the New York Knicks into the Washington Generals -- that clown-ass team that always loses to the Harlem Globetrotters.

JUSTIN: Do you really want another New York vs. Boston match up? You'd think after the way the Sox ripped your heart out in the 05' ALCS New York (The only baseball team EVER to lose after leading 3 games to 0) would want no part of a rematch...but then again ya'll are Knicks fans!

HOG: That's big talk coming from a Dallas Mavericks fan! Because in addition to your ZERO Championships, I seem to recall a certain major meltdown against the Miami Heat in the 2006 NBA Finals...

PREDICTION: If the Packers lose, Green Bay Wide Receiver Greg Jennings will NOT cry at the press conference, “It’s not Brett’s fault! He’s my quarterback! I love him! Waaaa! Boo-hoo!”

terrell owens

the fonzWant a kick-ass comedy show for your college or party? Email me for details.

 Subscribe in a reader

Get my Funny Rants in your email!
Your e-mail address:
Share on Facebook

Get Mate1 Intimate Dating




Get my HogWild Funny Rants & Funny Pictures in your Email!

If you liked this, you will also like:

* World's Hottest Female Sports Reporters

* Hottest Sports Wives: If you can't Win a Trophy, then Marry one!

* Mitchell Report Reveals that YOU are the only Person Not on Steroids

Check out my Hot Deals & Discounts

More Funny HogWild Rants and Jokes

Now see my Dating Coach advice and videos!


Now go watch my Expert Dating Advice videos!

Get my Funny Rants in your email!
Your e-mail address:

Get Mate1 Intimate Dating
Dating Advice! Expert dating advice videos, your dating advice questions answered by HogWild!

Expert Dating Advice Videos by me -- HogWild -- professional dating advice: helpful and hilarious.

NFL jokes. Football jokes. Brett Farve is the Eli Manning of Quarterbacks. Funny Rants, Dirty jokes + Twisted Humor.       
HOGWILD.NET  expert dating advice. helpful and hilarious videos!